Took a girl out dancing, she ditched me after 1 song for the rest of the night.....

justinw05 · 2011-07-11T22:10:57+00:00

Man... the only advice I even know to give here is this:

Take the pussy off the pedestal.

Seriously. This girl is walking all over you because you let her. If she wasn't that important to you then cutting back in like someone else suggested or dancing with other girls would have been a natural reaction, so would have telling her that shit's not alright. If that would have happened to me it would have went like this:

Douchetroll: Is that your bf?

Her: No, just a friend

Me: No, but we're on a date. <to her> I don't mind if you dance with him for a bit but then you won't mind if I go talk to that cute blonde over there while I wait for you right?

Her: Uhh okay

Now the next thing that happens is she spends the next 10 minutes watching you talk up some chick who she now thinks you're more interested in, and as a woman, she can't have that. So Douchetroll's cockblock attempt is averted and now she's all up in your shit out of jealousy.

This is a lesson to be learned - you've probably lost it on this girl sadly, but for future girls remember this!

no_dating · 2011-07-11T23:16:11+00:00

Here's the play-by-play analysis.

I've been trying to get this girl to go out dancing

Lesson learned.

she's with the same guy the whole night until they close up the bar.

And you didn't approach her?

I try my best not to show anger

I kept telling her, I'm cool, it's all good.

Disingenuous. You don't express yourself honestly. Leave lying to the ladies, you should have said something that started with "hell yeah I'm angry" while demonstrating self-control.

on the ride back home (worst ride ever)

Why did you give her one? If she ditched you for most of the night, what entitles her to a ride? The fact that you're not taking another girl home?

She never comes, I call her, no answer, I text her, no answer.

YOU have something that SHE needs! Why the hell are you trying to get a hold of her?!

she doesn't realize what she did was wrong is KILLING me

She does. She's not going to bring it up because YOU don't have the balls to call her on this bullshit. You're acting like a girl in a relationship when she just expects a guy to read her mind when she's mad. I know it's obvious as motherfuck, but she's testing you on how much of a chump you are.

Also, you drove drunk twice that night. Fuck you.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-07-11T22:08:30+00:00

I personally would have gone up to her and told her I was leaving after about the first 30 minutes, once it was obvious she ditched me.

Don't try to convince her she did something wrong, it won't make any difference. Forget about her, don't talk to her, freeze her out. Cut up her insurance card (for security) and toss it in the trash, she doesn't need it, it's just a number. Her insurance company can send her a new one if she really needs it.

Rapquest · 2011-07-11T23:10:40+00:00

My man - that must have hurt. I mean, I can imagine the situation and I can feel it in my gut. I've never been in the exact situation you described but I have been out with a girl I was infatuated with and I have had to watch her throw herself at another guy while ignoring me. There isn't anything you're going to learn here to stop that shit from hurting. You can learn to start acting in ways to avoid these situations.

it was always a maybe because [...]

There are two kinds of "maybe". The first is "I might be busy sat, I'll let you know". The second is "Sat is not good, how about Tues". The first is bad the second is less bad. If she isn't suggesting alternates then you are dead in the water.

she turns to me and says >hey I'm gonna dance with this guy. [...] she's with the same guy the whole night until they close up the bar.

One dance is OK. At the second dance I'd be looking for any female to start chatting to. By the third dance, if I'm not engaged in productive conversation with an alternate girl, I'm tapping my "friends" shoulder to say goodnight.

[She] keeps asking if I'm mad, and I try my best not to show anger

There are few things less attractive to any person (man or woman) than passive aggressiveness.

she still doesn't realize what she did was wrong

She is a woman not a fool. Ever hear that women are more "socially aware" then men? She knows more than you do. She knows you are infatuated with her. She knows it hurt you to watch her dance with that other dude. But she knows why she did it and you don't. She was trying to send you a message. Did you receive that message, or do you still think you have a chance with her?

never answered her phone or her texts

Have you got the message she was trying to send you yet?

Rapquest · 2011-07-11T21:59:22+00:00

On to the next one.

Did you just sit back and watch the two of them dance all night? You should have cut back in after a song or two, or danced with other girls.

chumpta · 2011-07-11T23:38:09+00:00

I've known this girl for a couple years now and we're pretty good friends, but I'm also into her too.

ಠ_ಠ

there's your sign.

heckz · 2011-07-12T01:44:39+00:00

I have a feelingg you missed a lot if the basics of seduction.

seddit_throwaway1500 · 2011-07-12T02:06:32+00:00

Sorry to hear that. I've tried taking girls dancing too with varying degrees of success and failure. I've been ditched, ignored, and flaked out on so I've learned never to go all in on a girl when it comes to something as casual as dancing. And yeah, as some people have said don't bother dealing with her anymore; I can forgive but I just don't forget things like this, and you shouldn't either.

Rapquest · 2011-07-12T05:09:22+00:00

I let my anger take control of me that night, I honestly shoulda just tried to see what I could get out of it when she was gettin all flirtatious with me on the ride back instead of thinkin "god what a bitch, can't believe she did that" I coulda definitely gotten somethin out of it since she was puttin her hand on my lap then laid her head on my lap, but nooooooo I was being the bitch and being in a pissed off mood...face palm well thanks for the advice guys, ive come to the decision that I'm not hittin her up, and if she does...sorry to say it but I'm just gonna try and smash, then pretty much go into dick mode after that

Rapquest · 2011-07-11T22:52:01+00:00

This is a sample text I'm planning on sending her soon since she won't pick up my calls...now keep in mind, me and her have been really good friends for a couple years now and she's always saying I'm the best guy friend she's ever had. So just cutting her out of my life isn't so easy, I mean sure it is but lemme know what you guys think about this text....

Hey, I dont know if youre busy, or not but all I wanted to talk to you about was thursday night. Didn't mean to make it seem like a huge deal. Or to the point where youre just gonna stop talking to me again. You asked me this time to go out dancing, and I agreed because I thought that WE were gonna be dancing. We dance for one song, then you ditch me to dance with someone else. I was fine with that because I thought it might've been for 1 song...but it ended up being the whole night until close. I felt like a chump especially to that guy you were with. I would've talked to you about it that night but I was a lil tipsy and you were drunk, it would've been better to talk about it sober. I love you and all HB but I thought that was a lil messed up, even for someone you consider a best friend. Sure I know you were drunk, and prolly didn't mean to do it intentionally, just don't do that again. Its cool tho HB, I'm already over it. Gimme a call when you get the chance, I'm still tryna chill while youre still on vacay

Title	Took a girl out dancing, she ditched me after 1 song for the rest of the night.....
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	23
Date	July 11, 2011 9:52 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/imsoq/took_a_girl_out_dancing_she_ditched_me_after_1/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/took-a-girl-out-dancing-she-ditched-me-after-1.1320122 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320122

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