One thing I've never really understood

frogma · 2011-07-23T00:23:15+00:00

You're touching on one of the most convoluted aspects of game. The best answer I can give you: It's your choice, at whatever point, of whether you want to go for a certain girl or not. Knowing you have that choice (which comes from the abundance mentality), you can go ahead and say "Ok, I'll push this girl some more and then I'll open this other girl" and then you can choose who you want to get more intimate with. When you've done that with enough girls, you'll be able to sort of see what's happening- so you can purposely push one girl, and purposely pull another, and still have a shot with both girls.

You'll see what's happening as it happens, and you'll be able to decide when it's a good time to start making some real moves. With night game, it's pretty easy- you can "push" a girl all night and end up fucking her. With day game it's different in a lot of cases- sometimes it's better to just be up-front with her and show a lot of interest (I don't really do that though- even with day game, I usually hide my interest until it's time to "close" and get the number or just invite her somewhere).

smokeshack · 2011-07-23T10:45:18+00:00

You can show interest in a woman once she's demonstrated that she's worth your time. That's why you ask her qualifiers--"All my friends are physically active. What do you like to do on the weekends?" Be genuine, and don't just accept any answer! If she tells you something boring, don't act like she's interesting; it's an obvious move that shows you don't have standards. Show her that you have standards, make her demonstrate that she meets your standards, and show interest based on how much she matches your standards.

The reason you don't show interest immediately is that it demonstrates that you have one criterion in mind only--physical attraction. A good woman won't want a guy that doesn't have some standards beyond that. So you don't show interest until she has shown that she's intelligent, witty, sensual, enlightened, interested in foreign film, or whatever it is you want in a woman. Show interest because you are interested at that point. If you are interested before that point, you need to step up your inner game and have some real criteria for judging whether a woman is right for you apart from her looks.

In short, it's not a question of acting interested or disinterested. It's a question of when you should be genuinely interested, and that should come after she's demonstrated some positive personality traits. Until then, she's just another pretty face, whom you afford no more affection than any other person you've met that night.

ImKumarYo · 2011-07-23T01:03:25+00:00

I don't think it's possible to answer this though Frogma does a pretty good job. It's pretty much experience which helps with your congruency. I'll try to think of something more productive for ya next time we hang out.

Oh, second point. You can come up and show interest right off the bat. The key is to do it in a non-needy way.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-07-23T02:54:16+00:00

It is said that a cold approach is an IOI, and a DLV. Just by approaching, you show interest, and this indicates she has higher value than you. That's why we use disqualifiers and IODs during initial approaches.

The Mystery Method seems to be the source of most of the current models for IOIs and IODs. The model as I understand it, is that you don't make any overt IOI until the woman has given an IOI first. You stay aloof until she shows attraction. After giving an IOI, you follow it with a disqualifier as an IOD.

I like Mystery's routine called "bait hook reel release." You bait the woman to qualify herself. If she takes the hook (shows her interest in you by qualifying herself to your standard) then you reel her in with an IOI as a reward, then release with an IOD. The idea is that you don't show an IOI without an IOD following it.

Now ultimately at some point, you do have to indicate you are interested in the girl. But by the time she shows solid attraction, you can start being more direct with IOIs.

danxmason · 2011-07-23T02:59:15+00:00

Have you read the mystery method?

It's answered there.

A1 - open

A2 - build her attraction to you

A3 - show your attraction to her

The key in A2 is to build her attraction to you without demonstrating interest in her. You can still talk to her one on one. But you do so in a way that is either breaking rapport, or neutral rapport. As in, making fun of her, teasing her, ignoring her then including her then ignoring again, push-pull stuff. Once she begins to show interest you can then begin to show your interest.

Title	One thing I've never really understood
Author	notlurkinganymoar
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	July 23, 2011 12:03 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ix9r6/one_thing_ive_never_really_understood/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/one-thing-ive-never-really-understood.1320568 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320568

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