a very nice guy told me something that i've never heard a guy say before:

DutchPUA · 2011-07-25T20:43:13+00:00

Go ahead and be assertive about it. He might just like it.

TheAccidentOf85 · 2011-07-26T16:54:40+00:00

I'm tempted to use this line now. He's all up in her head... he has her wondering, Why? Wondering if she should chase him? Wondering if she should get aggressive?

He just took the 1 step back so she can go ahead and take the next 2 steps forward.

kLinus · 2011-07-26T03:29:29+00:00

I've had a friend that said something like this once to his girlfriend when he was a virgin. Basically, he was scared that he would be REALLY BAD at sex / sexual things and didn't want to scare her away due to his lack of experience. I'm sure that if you start the ball rolling and guide him through doing stuff, you'll both appreciate it.

Whisper · 2011-07-26T01:16:35+00:00

No, you can take the initiative. In fact, you should. It will make him feel valued and appreciated.

But you will also need to make sure you are not pushing things too fast, because he can't enjoy himself if he's nervous.

So make your interest clear, and initiate, but do it gradually. Cuddle, play with his hair, rub his back before going for the kiss. At each stage, let him relax and enjoy himself before escalating.

Also, if he is a virgin, he will have performance anxiety. Guys are held responsible for sexual pleasure in a way that girls just aren't. He'll be worried that he'll bore you or turn you off by not knowing all the right moves. It will take some time for you to send the message that you like him for who he is, not what you expect him to live up to.

Cloukyo · 2011-07-27T21:56:42+00:00

I don't care. your username is awesome

colmos · 2011-08-04T00:08:02+00:00

MAKE A MOVE

chumpta · 2011-07-25T21:19:28+00:00

i'm confused... normally we men ask such questions about women because their words often belie their intentions and emotions. It does not work the other way around, I believe.

when a man says he wants to take things slow, he wants to take things slow. Added bonus: if you ask him WHY, he will probably give you an answer that is equally straightforward. So ask him, not us.

Zergbong · 2011-07-25T22:00:29+00:00

You're being gamed lol. Go ahead :)

rkg-pua · 2011-07-25T20:54:21+00:00

i believe his take things slow comment is code for: "im not interested in you." FWIW...

sounds like something i'd say in my teens when i wasnt attracted to the girl in question.

Teraph · 2011-07-25T22:05:35+00:00

Perhaps he doesn't need you to jump him, and really does need things taken slow. As bombarded as we are by sex and the expectations of masculinity, I assume your fellow has quite a fear of inadequacy. In this arena, he only needs 2 things from you: 1. PERMISSION - his lack of experience masks a lack of understanding; he doesn't know what your green light looks like. He doesn't know what means "go" ....men need to be men. He's got to make the moves to feel confident in the relationship, but you can overtly let him know what's ok (body language, being perhaps more verbally blunt than you're used to, etc.) 2. ENCOURAGEMENT - guys are like dogs; not to be crude, but it's how we learn. He does something you like? Reward him. He may be learning your green lights, but he still needs direction. And be patient...we guys are simple. We are but crudely-drawn stick-figure picture books to your feminine complexity on par with the Library of Congress.....in Farsi....in Braille.

Title	a very nice guy told me something that i've never heard a guy say before:
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	24
Date	July 25, 2011 8:27 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/izhxa/a_very_nice_guy_told_me_something_that_ive_never/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-very-nice-guy-told-me-something-that-ive-never.1320604 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320604

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