Femme here. Is it too late to seduce a guy AFTER you've fooled around, or is the jig up?

SpaceToaster · 2011-08-12T08:20:24+00:00

If I ever decide not to date a girl who I've slept with, it's because I don't want to date her.

If I'm really in to a girl, I'm going to try and see her for a while regardless of when she "puts out".

The flaws (in my opinion and experience) with using sex as leverage to keep a guy around are:

It is more likely to attract men who are easily manipulated emotionally
It can attract men who are still just in it for sex, but willing to wait (or get it elsewhere..)
It can attract men who are willing to lie about how they feel, or get themselves into a relationship that they are still unsure of just for the sex (happened to me once when I was a young lad.. this is bad for all parties involved)

Good luck! Show him your best self and have fun. That's the most you can do.

2011-08-12T05:18:07+00:00

I told him he could sleep in my bed... provided nothing happened.

lol

Helmet_Icicle · 2011-08-12T05:32:36+00:00

Er...how do you kill a guy after you've shot him in the head?

HeatDeathIsCool · 2011-08-12T07:04:15+00:00

I started reading this as though you were in a FWB relationship that you wanted to take to the next level, but this is so much easier. How are you so sure you have any seducing to do at all? He might already think he's seduced you. See him again, show him your awesome personality and let him know you want more than casual sex. He might be relieved that you want more. Do you know if he has casual sex often? Is it possible he knew you recently became single and was looking to make a move? You have a lot of variables to consider, but for the most part I doubt you have anything to "salvage," since salvage insinuates failure at some point in time.

yokhai · 2011-08-12T14:29:39+00:00

Why the fuck would you ever say "You can sleep in my bed, provided nothing happened"

Please answer this honestly, brutally honest. You knew you were attracted to him, you have a sex drive. Why would you put some arbitrary limit on your interaction with him?

You don't have any allure. Stop trying to use sex as a weapon or leverage. If you like him, persue him, don't think for a second that just because you haven't let him stick his dick your vagina that you have some power over him. You might, but then you are dealing with a spineless nit who is only interested in you because you didn't fuck him.

Sex is a toy, not a tool.

newtotoronto · 2011-08-12T04:24:47+00:00

So long as you don't have that weird rule about having to make him ask you out instead of just asking him out yourself, here's what you do:

Ask him out yourself.

I want to end the post there just for maximum impact, but I worry you'd just brush it off. Here's the deal, and it's based on crazy generalizations: I think guys are pretty easy to read. If he's expressed interest in seeing you again, he's interested in seeing you again. Girls like to give elaborate signals or say and do things with double or triple meanings (and then are confused when guys don't pick up on them), and many assume guys act the same way. They don't. If they seem into you, they probably are.

There is no faster way to find out if he's interested in continuing this than just asking him. Guys are flattered when girls ask, because it almost never happens, and he won't look down on you or whatever the fear is that stops girls from asking guys out more often. Just go for it.

Sed5 · 2011-08-12T06:37:10+00:00

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j85hq/been_seeing_alot_of_females_asking_seddits_advice/

What exactly are you goals here? Are you looking for a relationship?

So, Seddit. I still have the allure of sex on my side, but he already knows I'm easy enough in the other departments. I'm young, attractive, etc, but in most of my experiences, if you have sex too early, guys tend to lose interest.

It's very interesting. I always hear women talk about "giving it up" too early if they want something more.

Can you elaborate on your views and thoughts regarding this?

if you have sex too early, guys tend to lose interest.

Is this why a lot of women hold back? Even when they want to?

What are your goals with him keeping interest? Are you trying to withhold sex until he's attracted and smitten by you?

l3fth4nd · 2011-08-13T00:02:16+00:00

"if you have sex too early, guys tend to lose interest." Hah, the exact opposite is true for me. If a girl is too prude I'll forget about her quickly. A girl having sex with me quickly will not make me lose attraction for her. If a dude thinks like that it's his Madonna/whore complex not yours. Bad sex or shitty personality will turn me off. Some guys will continue to chase just for sex because they don't have many options and they think that's the only way girls will put out.

You can't seduce a guy into being your boyfriend. If he's not interested in you romantically, make it obvious that you're cool with just being fuck buddies or move on.

2011-08-12T04:29:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Femme here. Is it too late to seduce a guy AFTER you've fooled around, or is the jig up?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	31
Date	August 12, 2011 4:15 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jgfth/femme_here_is_it_too_late_to_seduce_a_guy_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/femme-here-is-it-too-late-to-seduce-a-guy-after.1321226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1321226

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