Seddit, i think i have a serious case of Oneitis and i cant seem to help myself.

psyocal · 2011-09-09T18:35:54+00:00

Your situation happens to a lot of young people. You’re probably fantasizing a great future together despite the fact of a completely different reality.

Don’t express your deepest love for her, because you’re not thinking straight. Chances are that you’re not in love with this girl. Your ego is only making you think that.

The truth is – she is stalling you. She is preventing you from progression. You should take a chance. Get drunk with her one night and make your move. A physical move, not some sob ‘I’m in love with you’ story. No one wants to hear that shit, believe me.

One of two things will happen:

A.) You’ll find yourself in some sort of sexual relationship with this girl. You’ll feel at the top of the world and you’ll probably think about marriage and the bright future and candy canes and sugar lollypops.

You’ll put her on a pedestal because you value her greatly. You’ll become a pushover from the simple fear of losing her. This kind of attitude will only kill her attraction for you and it will be your downfall. She wants a man, not a puppy who’ll do whatever she says.

B.) She won’t feel the same way about you, and you’ll lose a cuddle buddy who you THINK you’re in love with. It’s experience that will only make you stronger. Because what you constructed in your *twisted** head isn’t reality (I had to add the word twisted to make the sentence seem much greater).*

Good luck

frogma · 2011-09-09T17:56:50+00:00

Well you're basically stuck right now. The best bet would've been to get with the girl ASAP instead of hiding your intentions. If she "grew" on you, then your attempts to get with her should've matched that growth. Since you're being so cautious and shit, you're likely to be in the friend-zone. In which case, I think the best thing to do is just ignore her for a while- maybe a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe longer (feel it out)- and when you make contact again, approach it like she's entirely foreign to you and "seduce" her the same way you would with anyone else.

Whenever someone mentions that they "date other girls," I have a hard time believing them. Even at my most "proficient," I had like 4 fuck buddies, a more legit girlfriend, and was having a bunch of one-night-stands. Even then, I still wasn't "perfect" in terms of my mentality, and if you're anything less than that, your mentality's probably worse. Ie: you might be "dating" other girls, but you still have oneitis for this one- which shouldn't happen if you're actually involved in great relationships with other girls.

It seems like she's comfortable with you (and I'd bet she's attracted), so either start making some moves RIGHT NOW, or cut off contact for a bit and then re-initiate it.

ashamanflinn · 2011-09-10T04:13:15+00:00

You know its not a bad thing to like another person and date. If you like her try to start a relationship and take it slow.

puaCurveBall · 2011-09-09T19:42:24+00:00

I know this is unusual

Not that unusual, sounds like a very common and normal case of oneitis for a girl that friendzoned you.

Best advice is to just stop talking to her or spending time with her. The advice you'll actually take will involve creating some distance and then coming at her to try to start a relationship.

2011-09-09T21:27:26+00:00

Dude she sleeps in your bed with you.....really? Just escalate.

clutchPUA · 2011-09-09T21:35:18+00:00

There is no problem with liking just one girl. However, from your post I am confused...So have you tried to make a move on her? What happened? Maybe if she is affecting your ability to date other girls its either a sign maybe you should pursue her since she makes you feel that way, or just cut ties because it would be too torturesome.

revtrot · 2011-09-10T01:48:49+00:00

hmmm...IMHO this is what i would do. actually this is what i did. i also had oneitis for a girl. damn that girl had the most amazing ass on the planet. i remember we went to a hookah lounge and she came with me. to this day (its been years) the guys at the hookah lounge ask about her. her ass was that damn fine.

now that im done fapping about her ass...anyways.

what i did was i deleted her phone number from my phone, i deleted her from my list of friends on facebook. i deleted her text messages before i would have the chance to read them.

for me cold turkey was the only way to go. it was hard because we had mutual friends but i also eliminated those people from my life.

man when you have oneitis its like kicking heroine. just fucking go cold turkey for as long as possible. it worked for me. good luck brother! stay strong!

dumblederp · 2011-09-10T08:37:07+00:00

Someone recently mentioned that a girl friend-zoning a guy but keeping the intimacy going is similar to a guy regularly fucking a girl then leaving. Girls often want intimacy over sex, guys often want the reverse. Dude I've been in your shoes, keep those visions of white picket fences and a double garage to yourself. Get drunk make a move and be prepared to accept failure. This phrase cleared my head - love is simply wanting someone to be happy, infatuation is needing to be with someone regardless of their opinion.

Kashmir92 · 2011-09-10T06:27:39+00:00

Ok, so im new here to seddit, and some of the jargon is confusing. What exactly is Oneitis?

Title	Seddit, i think i have a serious case of Oneitis and i cant seem to help myself.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	17
Date	September 9, 2011 5:27 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ka8ie/seddit_i_think_i_have_a_serious_case_of_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-i-think-i-have-a-serious-case-of-oneitis.1322290 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322290

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