With friends: I went out yesterday to meet some friends at a bar. They had all come from an occupy Wall Street type protest and four of them had made signs. A few more friends show up and some of them asked me to hold up the signs so they could read them, and at this point I'm in a good mood, so I just hold it way above my head as if I'm protesting. A bunch of people look at me in a laughing/flirty way. At that point I knew I had a golden opener: just walk around with a protest sign. Unfortunately, I have only been sarging solo, and I really didn't know how to break the "character" I have assumed with my friends: Mr. Nice Guy. FML. Anyway, I'm not having a bad time since I'm with my friends, and I just catch up for about an hour at the table. At this point everyone decides to go home, but I don't want to go home, so I say my car is in the opposite direction (towards some bars).

My energy is sapped, and I have mad anxiety. I literally slap myself and ask myself what's wrong with me. I decide to go home, drink one beer and eat a little bit and come back out since it's still really early in the night. I'm actually an introvert, and while I like socializing, it drains me.

Solo Sarge First Bar: Anyway, I get some energy back, and head out again. It's about 11:45 when I hit the bars. The first place was a venue with live music. I figured it would get me into the mood. It did. I banter with one guy, making fun of another really douchey-looking guy overtly trying to hit on his girlfriend. He is with a few other girls...and their boyfriends. Okay, not a problem, but I'm allowing it to get me frustrated. I leave, and on my way out, I see someone that looks like Mike the Situation, and some girl asks me if I was friends with him, and I said, "No, but man he stole my Halloween costume!" She laughed super hard when I said this...what's funny is that I was somewhat serious. Unfortunately she was married.

Second Bar: I go into another bar. On my way, I clap and yell, "Yeah!" go for high fives, and manage to get a few from a couple guys and girls. I also do the "You're going to kill it tonight!" thing again. At the bar, I open another married couple who are visiting from another state. Go talk to some other people. Turns out they are all part of a wedding party and from a different city. And I get the sense everyone is with their lovers. One guy asks if I was hitting on his girlfriend. I said, "No, I wasn't." I turn and look at her and say in front of him, "But you're really attractive." She's flattered and smiles, and he is totally cool with me saying it. So, I guess I did learn something. Some guy approaches me, and high fives me. I could have joined his crew, but they were all from out of town. I just wasn't feeling it at this point.

My rut: Anyway, I woke up this morning feeling completely unsatisfied. If this was my first field report, I think I'd be ecstatic. But this is number 15, and I feel like I'm not making the progress at the pace I want. Yesterday it felt like everyone was with their girlfriends or spouses, and I was the kid left out of the party. It seems like everyone in my city are visitors from out of town or in the 18-21 crowd. I want to find people my age: 24-30. I want to go on dates. I feel like I can say a bunch of stuff to people at this point, and I'm starting to not care about the interaction, because I don't want to take the time to be friends with them, and I know they won't help me get laid. I'm a warm genuine person, but I felt completely hollow last night. People are also starting to recognize me when I'm out, and this threw me off a little (bartenders and bouncers e.g.). Maybe I have all of this wrong. Maybe my energy beneath my actions was a bit off. After typing this all out, I think maybe the problem is that I went out last night with expectations and didn't get what I wanted: sexy attractive women to interact with. Also, 0/3 responses from the e-mails I picked up from yesterday's FR[14] doesn't help my attitude either.

Please tell me what I'm doing wrong or say something to put me back on track.

TLDR: I can go out by myself now. I can say hi to people. I can make them smile. And I'm not happy. I want girls damnit. Lots of them. I am a good person. I know it. But right now I feel a little hollow. I'm still frustrated and kind of in a rut.