I'll open by stating I don't want help to deal with this situation. I'm also in no way into PUA but am curious about what you guys have to say about it and how I can avoid it in the future. I've been lurking here for some time but never came across a similar situation.

Context

People around me would say that : -I'm attractive (not a supermodel but well above average) -I'm witty and funny (I have trouble being like that around strangers) -I have trouble hiding my feelings -I usually display a lot of confidence in public

So I (30) meet a girl (24) last July. Said girl dated a close friend of mine for a month about 4 years ago so there's a little awkwardness from the start as there's obvious instant chemistry. Girl got back in touch with my friend because... force of nature. It's an amusing story I could elaborate on request.

So for the remainder of the summer and a chunk of autumn we regularly meet in bars between friends for drinks, shits n giggles.

During that time we often have discussions about our failed relationships and our view of life. On which we usually kinda disagree. And when it comes to saying stuff about me she calls it like she sees it really. And she never misses a chance to call me out on everything I do. So naturally I tell myself "Ok so we're really good authentic friends, I can deal with that". At one point she even told me straight up "You know I'm not into you right?" to which I answer "Wait did I came across as interested?" (and I genuinely meant it)...

Fast forward in October 2011

We get closer. And by closer I mean daily SMS, weekly get-togethers at the same pubs/bars. While the attraction is not really that obvious (she's a really friendly girl in general with everybody), we keep having tons of fun, laughing 100% of the time. I could write a book with all the inside baseball we have between us.

Early November we go to an event. The night wasn't particularly eventful except for the fact that there was way more physical contact this time around but we were both drunk and I was still kinda unsure how to act with her around my friend. Ended up leaving before her. Next morning she says something in the lines of "Yeah met a nice boy so the night was not a total disaster". Gotta say it made me cringe a little but nothing too serious.

After that day... crickets and tumbleweeds.

Until early December

Post something funny on FB. She laughs and we kinda get back in touch. One night I get an invite out of the blue. Naturally I'm happy to see her since she's a good friend so I go.

Here's when the clusterfuck happens. I get there, we start talking, we're both tipsy. Out of the blue I get this question "How'd you feel when I told you I met someone last month?". This, honestly, came as a complete surprise so I freeze. We talk on the subject some more, she tells me she's still seeing him (I learn I have the same name as him so I nicknamed him "fake-me") but there's the thing... she keeps kissing me on the cheek for no good reason and fiddling with my hair. When things stabilize I drive her home, she kisses me close to the mouth and I remember telling myself "oh now you're just asking for it" and we end up kissing for a good minute followed by the most confused look you could ever witness on a lady's face.

During December

We've seen each other 4 other times and here's how it went down:

Night 1 : We go out for an underground indie concert, drinks and laughs. Night ends at 3AM. Get her back home and she just jumps me. We kiss for a good 5 minutes but I have to work early in the morning so I leave. (didn't want to rush things anyway)

Night 2 : We go out for live music again. This time I get a bad vibe when she says she doesn't want to hurt me so I start looking concerned. We end up having a talk about how there's still someone in her life and how I should have made a move. She was also very evasive and trying hard to find excuses about why it wouldn't work. But I go "fuck it" and we start kissing and hugging on the sidewalk to the point of having the bouncer tell us to go finish our business in the back alley and offering us condoms. (that was actually super funny)

Night 3 : Open bar at some place. I invite a friend since I didn't want it to be awkward after the talk we had. He ended up having to talk to strangers because we were locked in our conversations. Get her back home, sure enough, she jumps me again and we kiss. Then I leave.

Night 4 (the next day) : We go for a movie I really wanted to see for the longest time. Keep cuddling in our seats, get out of the theater, kiss some more, go see a live show and this is what she tells me when I have her in my arms because we're sitting on the same fucking chair : "You know we're not dating right? We're just friends." I answer along the lines of "Whatever you wanna call it sweaty". Get her back home, we kiss some more (wtf).

Aftermath

Got a few SMS from her wishing me happy holidays. Wished her happy new year via sms also. Had a few facebook status update discussions and then nothing. It's been a month since I saw her and the last thing she said to me was "Talk to you soon"... 2 weeks ago.

Since I didn't get that "back and forth" vibe we had almost trademarked. I decided to forget about her and stay open to the possibility of her getting back to me in the future.

SOOOOOOOOOOooooooo... you guys care to explain what to make of this shitty story?

Cheers!

TL;TR : Good friend tells me she's interested, I go interested and get lost in mixed signals.