Trouble when making eye contact, low confidence

TheBattler · 2012-05-02T23:52:26+00:00

You won't believe it because it doesn't happen enough for you to believe it. Or more accurately, you don't perceive it happening enough.

Women are taught by their mothers or by magazines or by SOMETHING to be very indirect. VERY indirect. Most girls will never make it the least bit obvious they are attracted to you. The reason why they do this is simple; if they're indirect, then they don't have to admit that they were attracted to you if you reject them.

I went through most of my life thinking I was absolutely unattractive and there was not a single girl who was attracted to me, BUT once I started reading a bit, I realized that there were tons of chicks who were interested in me but I couldn't read their signs (and honestly, very few people can) and not only that but because I thought I was unattractive and I thought that this shit happened to me very rarely, I couldn't believe it when one girl asked ME out this year and one girl told me that she liked me. I blew it with both of them, but that's another story.

ANYWAY, one of the biggest tenets of advice you will see here is "Assume Attraction."

It's way better to assume that a woman is attracted to you than not. Even if she isn't, and it's pretty much impossible to tell with most chicks at least in the first 5-10 minutes of meeting her, at least you will have an overall brighter disposition towards women and when a girl IS attracted to you, you will get what you want.

Tell yourself that you are the shit. Look in the mirror and talk to yourself about how attractive you are, how good looking you are. If you are a scraggily, nerdy looking bastard tell yourself you are Russell Brand. You can't rely on others to give you confidence. If you can give yourself confidence, you will swagger around with it and THAT'S what is most attractive.

That's why you should just assume every girl you meet is attracted to you. If you get rejected, just tell yourself it's not any issue with you and unless you have spaghetti sauce stains on your dragonball z, button-up shirt that is bursting at the seams with hair and grease and mountain dew filled veins, it honestly is never you it's something to do with her.

wtjones · 2012-05-03T03:50:56+00:00

Try to take the nervous energy and FEEL it as it's happening. Then pretend it's a wave or a bull you're trying to ride. When you feel like you're gonna fall off (break eye contact) try to hold it for another second. Make a game out of it, think of the hotter girls as the bigger bulls (waves) and try to ride the shit out of them.

Protip: Think of what the girl looks like when she's about to orgasm. I like to use David Wygant's trick of thinking of her using her vibrator and calling my name out as she hits the big O. I think in my mind you dirty girl as we lock eyes then I ride the wave and try to stay on until she falls off.

falousco · 2012-05-02T23:59:27+00:00

Eye contact has always been natural for me but I find when in deep conversation I sometimes prefer to be looking away and just totally focusing on, and taking in whatever the other person has to say.

Some advice I found good for eye contact even though I have always done it is to give yourself a challenge to look every single person, and yes, I mean everyone (obviously just people who are in your front-ish view. Look into their eyes enough so that you can notice their eye colour, this normally takes just over a second or a couple depending on distance, and is the best. Also give 'warm' eye contact, when I told a friend about eye contact I watched as he simply stared out girls in an almost creepy manner. Try a slight smile and even better - smile 'with' your eyes.

Since you admit not having confidence or experience with girls, work on your confidence. In doing this your self-image will improve and you won't struggle to believe 'does that girl really like ME?!'. Assume attraction like TheBattler said.

whaowhaowhao · 2012-05-03T02:14:23+00:00

You sound a lot like me. I have zero experience due to lack of experience/confidence. However I get obvious side looks from girls walking by all the time. Yet, I never approach.

It gives me a frustrating feeling of being "so close, yet so far".

Sorry I couldn't help you out, just thought it was interesting we have similar problems.

2012-05-03T03:15:35+00:00

Kevin!!

pualive · 2012-05-03T03:40:53+00:00

She is always looking at you and checking you out. Ingrain this into your belief system: i am the man of every woman's desire. What is the alternative, you suck with women? This is a choice. Would you like to be appreciated for who you are, or shat on? The answer is obvious. Give yourself credit, where credit is deserved. At the very least, give yourself a chance.

Years ago, i did a John Sinn e-book course. One of his suggestions that helped me was: write down 5 things that you are really really good at. Put them on your mirror, or somewhere you can see them daily. Repeat 3 times daily ... "i am good at halo" or whatever, hopefully something more relevant. This will help instill confidence. You are good at the thing you are good at. So keep doing those things, and add others to the list.

Smilepua · 2012-05-03T16:40:26+00:00

Check out my post on confidence it should help. http://smilepua.com/2012/01/08/just-be-confident/

Xeonit · 2012-05-03T20:48:46+00:00

Dude. You are the main character, look at them straight in the eyes, take it as a challenge. Who will interrupt eye contact first? Not me, not today.

It works. If you look at them and then interrupt eye contact, they'll think "I'm the one controlling the game". Wrong. YOU are. I'm in college, and in 3 days it worked with a professor [woman of course, at least 42 (nothing sexual in this one, but it tells you that you can ATTRACT whoever you want)], a girl who was trying to friendzone me (miserable failure :) ) and a girl with whom I had talked few times. The last one gave me her number and asked me to go out at some alternative clubs. Hell yeah!

Yes, they check you out! One thing that I learned is that a women wants a man that knows what he's doing, and I'm sure you know.

Think about it. You eye-contact a girl, but you dont get any result. And so? Did you kill her? Did you offend her? No, you just looked a girl that you like, nothing more noble than this.

(About the eye-contact: Don't be creepy! Don't be like homer simpson when he smells donuts! Elegance. )

wileypeyote · 2012-05-03T04:28:04+00:00

Stare at their forehead. Always used that strategy at school whenever I got in trouble, the person you're looking at feels like you're looking them directly in the eye.

Title	Trouble when making eye contact, low confidence
Author	JodumScrodum
Upvotes	24
Comments	15
Date	May 2, 2012 11:20 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t44yk/trouble_when_making_eye_contact_low_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trouble-when-making-eye-contact-low-confidence.1332096 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332096

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