Something I have to remind myself of often is that I cannot blame her for not wanting me or responding the way I want her to.

A recent experience turned for the worse and I was able to turn it around:

I met a girl through mutual friends and immediately turned up the heat. She was very receptive and obviously interested. I wasn't looking for anything serious; neither was she. She recently got out of a relationship and admitted she had just been hooking up here and there. Perfect opportunity for me: I should be that guy.

I spent a couple of weeks building rapport with her and we really liked each other. I started to come off too strong and started pushing her away. She called me out for being took forward and cocky, etc. In hind sight, I was. Regardless, I push through and after some classic push/pull we eventually make-out and sleep together. Almost immediately she feels guilty for "giving in" as she put it.

We've continued to hang out and she would invite me to stay over, but would not sleep with me again. Here is where the lesson in this post starts: this offended and confused me. I blamed her and figured she was fucked up. As I saw it, there was nothing to lose; we'd been flirting and hanging out for a while and had even slept together, not to mention she's still asking me to spend the night. I reacted negatively and basically became an asshole to her. I basically told her to go screw herself and started ignoring her, moving on to other women.

A week and a half later I had this realization that: if she doesn't want to do something, why should I be mad at her? She has her reasons, whether I agree with them or not, for feeling the way she does. If I failed to seduce her, that's on me.

I saw her out and about and made a simple appology, saying, "Hey, sorry about last week. I acted very inappropriately." Since then I haven't paid much attention to her at all and I'm certainly not upset about the situation anymore. What's good about this is that she's now blowing up my phone wanting to hang out and has even explained that she feels bad and wants to "make up for it".

Be outcome independent; don't blame her. Only improve yourself.