The Kickstart

TofuTofu · 2012-06-06T19:23:33+00:00

Do or do not. There is no try.

Or set a goal to go out X nights per week. Give your friend $200 and have him give you twenty dollars back every night you stick to it. He gets to keep the money if you fall short.

Cosroe · 2012-06-06T20:50:34+00:00

The only person that can make you do something is you. If you have a hard time motivating yourself apply a condition to something you like that requires you to do something more productive and not as immediately appealing.

For example, let's say you watch TV. There's a new episode out but you haven't seen it yet, so you decide the "cost" of TV time for that show is a 60 minute running session. Because you want to watch TV but don't want to betray yourself you go out to the gym, run your arse off and come home feeling great. Again, the only person that can make you do this is you. If you cheat on this system the only person you're screwing over is yourself.

Any tradeoff will do. It can be working out, doing volunteer work, or even talking to strangers. Give yourself a list of achievements that must be completed before you reward yourself with something you want but isn't productive.

2012-06-06T20:56:25+00:00

Just build it up. Don't go all-out from the start if that doesn't motivate you, if you feel obliged to approach girls from the very start that might be intimidating enough so you don't even get into situations where it's an option. Get into a success spiral. Start off by standing tall and smiling at girls as you walk down the street. Then wink at some of them. Then say hi as you walk past. Then start up a few conversations. Then you'll have your motivation problem solved. "Just fucking do it" works for some people, but for others "Just fucking do a little bit more" is better.

Something I read recently which I'm going to try to reduce approach anxiety is that people don't feel so awkward if they feel someone else initiated the interaction. You're not going to be anywhere near as nervous if a girl comes up and starts talking to you than the other way around, right? So what you can do is make your definition of initiating contact broader. Make it so if she smiles back, that's contact initiated and you talking to her isn't an approach, it's a response. I think this matches up with some of what's gone on in my head as I've sort of got over approach anxiety.

seekingagirl · 2012-06-06T21:10:49+00:00

You have to remind yourself that if you don't do anything, nothing will happen. It will never fall into your lap.

I recommend you just plan it out way in advance like a small vacation. No need to go full-hog like some people have said. Plan ahead: one night in two weeks; you and a buddy will go out and have the best night ever and the women will thank you!

Murmaider · 2012-06-06T22:04:25+00:00

IMO it sounds like your laziness is a mask for your fear.

merzen · 2012-06-07T00:02:40+00:00

i read in an NLP book the concept of motivation directions. are you "toward motivated" or "away from motivated?" Do you get motivated when you have specific objective in mind? "i'm going to work out to get ripped," Or do you get motivated when you are trying to get away from something, almost fear based? "i'm going to work out because i don't want to get fat."

this made a lot of sense to me because i noticed that i was very much away from motivated.

so how i got out and started putting seddit wisdom into practice was because i pretty much scared myself into doing it to avoid some perceived negative consequence. i wasn't doing it consciously, but theoretically you can. basically i had a few thoughts along the lines of, "i don't want to wait for the next girl to come along" "i don't want to get into a relationship again out of fear of being lonely for a long time" "i don't want to be a virgin until i'm 30" shit like that, got my ass moving.

so the idea of the concept is to find out how you are motivated and focus on either the goal, if you're toward motivated, or a consequence that you would like to avoid. btw i got this from some $10 audiobook on NLP that i found at B&N.

in addition: r/getmotivated might be a useful resource.

EvilNando · 2012-06-07T00:22:07+00:00

This clearly is one of the problems of having too much porn around

thejerz · 2012-06-07T04:28:41+00:00

Try reading The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It's a classic on motivation and productivity and how to be more efficient in your daily life.

The first half, from what I recall, is mostly behavioral therapy to get you to think about how you think and talk to yourself. You'd be surprised: for many the solution comes down to simply rephrasing your internal dialogue.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-06-06T20:26:30+00:00

WHETHER YOU THINK CAN OR YOU THINK CAN'T, EITHER WAY YOU'RE RIGHT I hear that a while back, and stuck with me.

Let me guess, chances are you have the same issue in those other aspects of your life where you should take initiative, you might be a great worker, because there you are told what to do, but when it comes to take initiative... it's not happening.

If that's the case, it's not a question of Seduction, it's a question of motivation and confidence, the only solution that you have is the one you are going to have to make on your own by:

surrounding yourself with people who will support you but push you to action, not commiserate with you
read about seduction and motivation and everything you can get your hands on, you need to re-educate yourself and change your inner game
this is a good place to start http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s9m4b/the_definitive_guide_to_confidence/
starting exercising on a regular basis will help you in more ways than one /r/fitness is a great resource.

dobtoronto · 2012-06-06T19:32:00+00:00

The best way to force yourself is to remove the ability to perform your habits. Usually, the practical first step is to unplug your computer and television and put away the power cord, or something similar.

Good luck.

Foxxz · 2012-06-07T02:13:56+00:00

Stop being a bitch

Title	The Kickstart
Author	generalben
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	June 6, 2012 7:15 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uoeok/the_kickstart/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-kickstart.1333729 https://theredarchive.com/post/1333729

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