How do you effectively communicate who you are as a person bringing her into your world, create a connection, and become emotionally closer?

bmduffy · 2012-07-05T09:56:29+00:00

Women are emotional. Us men need to connect to them on an emotional level. However, inherently, we are not meant to be emotional. We are meant to be problem solving machines. That is why it is always better to, when a woman comes and begins crying about something that happened to her, you empathize with her, rather than offer solutions. (unless she asks for one)

You were on the right track with being vulnerable. But not vulnerable in the sense of crying and breaking down to her all the time. Rather, ask questions that probe her on an emotional level, and be prepared to reciprocate.

Try an experiment. Next time you think about asking a woman what she does, don't. Instead, ask her, "what is your passion?". She may look at you cross eyed for a moment, and it may sound odd coming out the first few times. But when she launches into the explanation, always ask "Why?". Asking deeper, meaningful questions such as these are much more likely to provoke emotional responses.

Also, when you tell stories, don't focus as much on the timeline of events. Focus on how you felt in the moment of the story. An example would be a family vacation on the beach. One less desirable way of telling the story would be, "my family loves going to the beach. We go every summer. Its a fun time." Instead, you could say something like, "I love going to the beach with my family. Just playing in the water with my cousins reminds me of when I didn't have to care so much about all the problems in my life. I can just feel like a kid again. Ever feel that way?"

See the difference?

puaCurveBall · 2012-07-05T16:03:36+00:00

Ok let's briefly talk deep diving. Let's take a simple example: "Have you ever fallen really deeply for a guy right away?"

Now, rather than just passively hearing the answer and moving on, you want to gain the following:

What does her answer really mean
How did she feel
How did she KNOW she felt that way

People are emotional creatures, when they give you a logical answer, there is practically always an emotional reason behind it (even if it is as simple as "I want to feel in control")

Given our example, she might say:

Her: Yeah, I met this guy and we were such a perfect fit.
You: A perfect fit in what way?
Her: Well, we both like the same type of music, and we were on the same page physically.
You: How did it feel to be on the same page physically?
Her: It felt like I could trust him and act out my deepest fantasies with him
You: How did you know you could trust him, what did you feel?
Her: He always asked me if I was alright and he encouraged me to say whatever I wanted to without judging me. It made me feel safe

What you are doing, is revealing her internal patterns for what she is looking for and how she evaluates things to see if she has found those things.

What you now know is that one of her biggest pillars is Trust, and a way you can let her decide to trust you is by asking if she is alright and encouraging her to be open with her desires.

A conversation with a different girl might have found Loyalty as her main pillar with asking about her day and informing her what you were up to as a way of allowing her to feel you are Loyal.

This works for all deep conversations not just about relationships... you might ask her about her favorite and least-favorite aspects of her job. She might reply:

Her: My least favorite is cleaning up after the little kids (she is a teacher)
You: ~~Yeah that sucks~~ How do you feel when you have to do that?
Her: Like they don't respect me.
You: What makes you feel like they don't respect you?
Her: They never apologize or acknowledge all the work I do when they make a mess

Now you've brought to surface that she might need you to acknowledge the work she is doing in the relationship because she might not get that from work. The same could happen for positives, finding out what she loves about her job and how she knows when she finds it.

Title	How do you effectively communicate who you are as a person bringing her into your world, create a connection, and become emotionally closer?
Author	XXCUPZ
Upvotes	11
Comments	7
Date	July 5, 2012 8:49 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w2iso/how_do_you_effectively_communicate_who_you_are_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-effectively-communicate-who-you-are-as.1335208 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335208

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