Getting laid vs. getting a girlfriend.

KeroKeroKeroppi · 2012-10-04T18:25:32+00:00

Totally have to disagree here...

As soon as a girl starts evaluating you as boyfriend material you are fighting a huge uphill battle compared to fun one-night stand material.

Girls are much more willing to sleep with the hot, fun, stranger thats sweeping them away in the moment.. But, once they start thinking of you as boyfriend material than a TON of other shit kicks in:

-Will my friends like him?

-Do we live close enough together?

-We cant be in a relationship because of our work association.

-My parents would kill me for dating an X guy.

-Ugh, my friends would never let me live down dating a guy this short.

-Im kinda dating this other boy right now who wants to be my boyfriend.

-I can't put out for the first month, otherwise he won't respect me as his girlfriend.

-I just got out of a relationship, and am just looking for fun now.

-Im moving soon and dont have time for a boyfriend.

-Other totally random reasons we cant be in an LTR.

Really, I build amazing relationships with girls where we have sex the night we meet where they make the guys they are trying to turn into boyfriends wait MONTHS.

Thats why I encourage wealthy/successful guys to actually hide this fact during the early stages of seduction sometimes, as it can instantly make a girl put you into provider/boyfriend potential and evaluate you on a whole higher level of standards.

Now this isnt true for all situations obviously, women are complex creatures. But in general, I have had much more success as awesome, hot, mysterious, impulse, 'why-the-fuck-not' guy, rather than trying to convince girls I will be an awesome boyfriend before they sleep with me.

hornychloe · 2012-10-04T17:01:55+00:00

On the other hand girls are DESPERATE for boyfriends.

No we're not. At least not all of us.

Delightful_White · 2012-10-04T18:27:19+00:00

This is some bad advice.

Pursuing a girl for the interest of a girlfriend makes it a lot easier to get laid, because the value exchange is more tilted in the guys favour.

This doesn't even make sense. How is it more in the guys favor if he's the one pursuing? This goes against pretty much everything this community has been teaching for years (increasing your value, showing disinterest, willingness to walk away, outcome independence, etc). If you're in the mindset of "I'm looking for a girlfriend" instead of letting a healthy relationship grow naturally, you might end up lowering your value and your standards, just so you don't "fail" at getting a girlfriend. Lets face it, if you're always out looking for a girlfriend, you'll probably find one, but that doesn't mean she's what you really want. Same thing goes for guys who are just out to get laid. A neutral attitude towards women is the best way to go.

if a smoking hot girl is interested in getting laid she literally has her pick of anyone in the bar. If a medium hot girl wants to get laid she has her pick of 90% of the bar. If an ugly girl wants to get laid she has her pick of 40% of the bar.

These numbers are useless and don't mean anything.

If a smoking hot girl wants to get laid, chances are she'll call her fuck buddy or ex-bf or somebody that she's already attracted to and knows. It's much easier than weeding through all the losers at the bar. However, I'm not saying a guy with good game can't push all the right buttons and take her home, but I doubt hot girls put much effort into picking up guys at bars. It's a waste of energy.

On the other hand girls are DESPERATE for boyfriends.

That's a pretty bold statement, and also a generalization. Most girls I know (mid to late 20s) are actually really hard workers, and are focused on careers and furthering education. Not saying they don't want boyfriends, but they certainly aren't complaining either. I'm in NYC and the culture may be a little different here than where you are, but I doubt it's vastly different where girls are desperately trying to find a man. Most girls here make good money and really don't "need" a man, and haven't really since the womens rights movement.

By the time you realize you're not interested it'll be the fourth date anyway and you'll have gotten laid.

If it takes you four dates to realize that you aren't interested, you're doing something wrong.

I think if you're struggling this could get you over the hump.

We're trying to get guys out of the oneitus mindset, this is borderline telling them that it's ok. I don't agree with this.

bossmcsauce · 2012-10-04T17:24:27+00:00

This whole 'get laid vs get a girlfriend' thing has me all fucked up, cause I am currently planning on pursuing something a little more long-term with this girl I met recently, and I don't want to rush the 'getting laid' shit, because the last girl I jumped straight into it with didn't really ever become anything more than a casual hookup. Basically, this girl just came out of a relationship pretty recently, and I don't want to come in and do some rebound fucking, and then screw things up due to poor timing. I've rarely felt this much pressure to not fuck up the timing of something... In this case, if all I wanted was to get laid, I could probably make it happen pretty quick, but I don't want to put off the wrong vibe, given her circumstance.

TatM · 2012-10-04T18:58:08+00:00

There is a ton of guys going around with the fake 'looking for girlfriend' mentality. They promise to be serious with her, sleep with her for a bit and then break up for some pretext reason after they get bored. These guys are evil.

Guys who openly admit they only want to get laid are pained as perverts and ultimately at a disadvantage to these people even though they honestly admit their intentions.

I, for one, would not get into a relationship with a girl who refuses to sleep with me for fun before I commit. Sex extortion is not my thing. However, I feel this hinders my chances with a majority of girls. Oh well, they are not my type.

Norrisemoe · 2012-10-04T15:41:39+00:00

That's a really good way to look at it and I tend to agree with you. However I think you are missing one thing and that is that I don't want to go on a date with this girl I met tonight. I want to put her up against my wall and fuck her. I shall elaborate, she is beautiful but her accent is awful, I don't agree with the way that she thinks and I don't want to spend my money on her or spend time with her while she is sober as her personality stinks. Her tits however don't stink and that is the difference, I couldn't bare to date her or treat her that way.

Title	Getting laid vs. getting a girlfriend.
Author	TatM
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	October 4, 2012 3:18 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/10xta2/getting_laid_vs_getting_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-laid-vs-getting-a-girlfriend.1340567 https://theredarchive.com/post/1340567

Comments