Could use some help improving my club game

_saint · 2012-12-22T20:25:58+00:00

Personally I don't recommend approaching girls on the dance floor. Instead, try approaching girls at the bar, right after they receive their drink.

There are a few reasons for this. The biggest one though, is that there are several reasons a girl might be at a club. One of these reasons is to get laid. Another is to dance with her friends. Guess where all the girls who are just there to dance will be? Yup, on the dance floor. The ones who are open to meeting a guy and maybe going home with him are the ones more likely to be drinking.

Dancing with a girl is fun, but it doesn't mean she wants to do anything more with you. To find out if she is down for a new boyfriend, a fuckbuddy, a one-night stand, whatever, you have to talk to her. And that's hard to do on the dance floor. So I find it much simpler and more efficient to open a girl at the bar before dancing with her. That way you'll have some idea beforehand if this girl is a decent prospect or if shes just going to be a waste of your time.

-colors · 2012-12-22T21:39:11+00:00

Haha I had a simliar experience last night. We went to what was essentially a raging house party, but in a bar, where everyone is dancing to like electronic / trap style music. Dance floor is so packed you essentially can only dance w/ your arms, however i did get a little shuffling and shit it. When your are one of the most energetic people on the dance floor and don't give a fuck then you will attract lots of attention. I always had girls dancing in my proximity and putting themselves within inches of my dick trying to get me to grind on them. Honestly I just like to dance w/ my homies and watch the ladies parade themselves around. If you can find a dance style that looks good, and allows a girl to position herself fairly close to you, its pretty easy to spot an open invitation to initiate dancing. Otherwise initiating with girls on a dance floor is all non-verbal due to loud music. What you can do is initiate eye contact while approaching or dancing within proximity, take her hand, make her do a silly spin move, and if you want you can stop her at 180 and start grinding on her if that's what your looking for, or spin a full 360 and participate in the awkward "crab dance" that happens when people try to dance facing each other.

Some things to avoid, don't just start grinding on a girl without initiating eye contact or some sort of confirmation that you are about to dance with her... it's really creepy sneaking up behind her and putting your dick on her ass. Also, she will most likely just walk away because she has no idea whos bratwurst is in her buns. If you initiate with some sort of eye contact and spin move it sort of says "hey i know i'm good looking and suave enough to approach you in an appropriate manner and don't have to sneak up behind you to get you on me." And if she doesn't want to dance you should be able to tell by her body language before your crotch ever hits her cheex.

MrPartridge · 2012-12-23T01:04:07+00:00

The answers to your questions, in order, are:

The only advice I can give you on getting over approach anxiety is to get the fuck over your approach anxiety. Simple.
An appropriate way to initiate dancing with a girl is it depends. Different things will work on different girls. The easiest thing to do is to find a girl who doesn't look like she's having fun and then dancing around her until she smiles. From there, escalate as normal.

That's really only a very small bit of what's going on, though. The rest is all fundamentals. So if you want that, read on.

I love EDM as well. I grew up listening to Daft Punk and going to all-ages shows (and sneaking into some 19+ festivals as well), and once I got my first fake ID, I was hooked on going to shows at bars. For that reason, club game was the most readily accessible for me, and what seemed to me like the "best." Turns out, club game is not easy. It is harder than other types of game. At least, I think so. I'm still not an expert, but let me try to break this down. A lot of it is inner game, and a lot of it applies to ALL game, and a lot of it applies to ALL of life. So just skip those parts if I'm telling you stuff you already know.

INNER GAME STUFF

First and foremost...

Don't be that guy. And by "that guy," I mean "The Rapist." You know. The guy in the club who clings to girls who clearly do not want him to be there. There is a difference between a "shit test" and "Please leave me alone you are making me uncomfortable." Don't be that guy because he makes the girl uncomfortable. Don't be that guy because that guy doesn't get laid. Just don't do it. This is something that I hope every sedditor knows, but the lines get blurry when you talk about club game, especially if your intent is to go to a club and take a girl home within moments of meeting her, ESPECIALLY if you want to do it without saying any words. It's also important to know how to combat other dudes and if you want any tips on that specifically, let me know. Remember that if you want women, they have to want you back, and the most attractive dude gets the girls and any girl who thinks you're creepy is NOT attracted to you.
Are you there to dance, or are you there to pick up women? This is very important, and also very simple. Having a good time at the club is not the same as picking up women at the club. I first noticed this when I was at a club for a show I genuinely wanted to see. It was a huge name in EDM (I think it was Nero), I spent a lot of money on this ticket, I was with my bros, I was dancing my ass off, and it was a good night. A cute little lady dances up to me, starts grinding, and I have to politely inform her that "I am here to dance with my friends." As soon as I said it, I was like "WTF, MrPartridge? You've been waiting for YEARS to hook up with girls at the bar, and now you're going to give her the same bullshit excuse that you hear all the time?" And the answer is yes, but it's not bullshit. If I am going to dance, I am going to dance. I am going to have fun. I am going to hang out with my friends. I am going to get drunk, if I want. Often, I don't. And at the end of the night, I'm going to look back on it without disappointment, whether or not I got a girl that night. Most of the girls you are trying to get understand this concept, so it would be asinine for you not to. Basically, what I'm saying is that if you're not having fun, girls will not want to be around you.
If you want to pick up girls that you're not talking to, you better be really good at interpreting body language. I mean, we all want to be better at interpreting body language. That's why we're here. But for dance floor game, you have to be really good at interpreting body language. Because if you're bad enough at it, you could wind up getting yelled at, punched, slapped, drink in the face, drink on the lap, kicked out of the bar, arrested. Let me give you another illustration. I was at a club. Same club, different night. I'm dancing, hanging out, having a good time. A gay guy that I have rejected previously walks up to me, says hello, waves, smiles, flirts. I give him the "Oh hey" polite rejection, but he doesn't get it. Instead, he decides to get in close and literally grab my penis, outside of my jeans. I push him back, tell him to fuck off, and that's the end of it. To me, this was a pretty clear cut example of sexual harassment bordering on assault. I didn't feel the need to inform the bouncers because that would be more trouble than it's worth. However, if we look at his approach from a seduction perspective, it's clear that if he wanted to pick me up, dance with me or take me home, he fucked up. He did it wrong. The most important thing he did wrong is hitting on me in the first place; I'm not gay. I don't like boys. Simple as that. If a beautiful woman did the exact same thing, I probably would have asked her name, taken the cock grab as an extreme IOI, and then proceeded with game normally. However, instead let's pretend that I'M the girl, and let's critique what the dude did wrong: He was that guy. He was at the club to fuck someone, and didn't care how he did it. See point number one. The previous history between us made it unlikely that he could even impress me in the first place. Even if I were gay, I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with this guy, because he's a shitty person. This is another way of saying that his inner game wasn't good enough. Didn't make a good impression. Didn't make me feel at ease. Didn't escalate appropriately (since what he thought was "escalation," I interpreted as harassment).

OUTER GAME STUFF

Go for what you want. In point number two, I asked you if you're there to pick up girls, or are you there to dance. The answer is almost assuredly "BOTH!" which is perfect. Now act like it. If you want to make out with that hot girl that all the guys seem to worship, go for it. Approach anxiety? That girl doesn't give a fuck if you have it. So stop fucking having it.
Some girls are just there to dance. They will not even give you the time of day. Simple as that. Avoid these girls, unless you want a challenge.
Each club has a different demographic. Some clubs have more promiscuous girls than others. Some clubs are full of girls who want to dance, but don't want to be taken home. Some clubs are full of girls who want to be taken home, but don't want to dance. The only way to find out which club is which is to go there. Your buddies can give you tips as to where to find girls, but ultimately, their success may not correlate to your success.
There is no such thing as being so good at dancing that a girl wants to fuck you. You say you're good at shuffling and jumpstyle. You say you have high energy. You get noticed, you get compliments. Why don't you get girls? Wait, you have gotten a girl. Why are you even posting here? Being a good dancer will help you get women. But unless you live in Australia or The Netherlands, or whatever, shuffling and jumpstyle will not help you. Or more specifically, unless you are in a club where shuffling and jumpstyle are popular, they will not help you. I live in British Columbia, Canada, and my experience is pretty much limited to this province. But what's NOT limited to this province is the idea that music and dance are some of the most subjective topics you could ever discuss. If you think shuffling and jumpstyle are fun and awesome, do them. If everyone else does as well, even better. However, these genres of dance are meant for specific genres of music. If you try to shuffle to dubstep, you're probably not going to be very successful. And I can promise you that if you and I go out to MY bar tonight, and you do the Melbourne Shuffle all over the place, you will chase most girls away.
Be good-looking. If you want to dance and pick up women at the same time, putting some effort into your appearance will help. This doesn't mean "dress in the exact way that will get you laid," it means "dress in a way you feel comfortable, but will also impress the ladies." If you have any trouble with that, /r/malefashionadvice is right there.

And that's it. I went into detail in some places, but pretty much all of it is stuff you've heard before. If any of it is wrong, I invite all sedditors to inform me of my mistakes. As I said, my experience is pretty much limited to B.C., and things are radically different in certain parts of the globe.

jros14 · 2012-12-22T21:15:12+00:00

Hey good post, I need help with this too.

I'm also good at shuffling but sometimes I think it can be too much - I think girls might be intimidated and feel like they're not good enough dancers to dance with me. That, and also I think dancing with a partner to electronic music is just awkward to begin with. It's hard to escalate while rocking out!

Anyone out there who can help with this? It would be appreciated!!

antnyj · 2012-12-22T21:43:49+00:00

Side-question: how did you become so good at dancing? I'd love to start going to clubs, but I'm self-conscious cuz I haven't ever really gone dancing and I never took lessons or anything.

Chiandra · 2012-12-22T20:20:32+00:00

'shoot me IOIs' ... whats that ?

Title	Could use some help improving my club game
Author	antnyj
Upvotes	11
Comments	19
Date	December 22, 2012 7:36 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/15air3/could_use_some_help_improving_my_club_game/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/could-use-some-help-improving-my-club-game.1344666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1344666

Comments