I've answered a few questions recently about things like "what do I say if my mind goes totally blank?" or "what do I say after I obey the 3-second rule and approach before I think of anything, then just freeze?"

The answer in the first case could be: "Wow, my mind just went totally blank. You need to say something now or this will get awkward fast." In the second case, it could be "I wanted to say hi to you before I got too nervous to talk to you at all, but that's as far as I planned ahead. Shit."

I called this "embrace the truth", which I really mean, but I realize there's a larger point that is maybe swept under the rug by a lot of intermediate guys but accepted as gospel by the truly advanced guys.

Embarrassment, shame, fear, self-consciousness... these are INTRINSIC HUMAN EMOTIONS. If you do not have them, you are a sociopath. If someone tells you they don't have them, they are almost certainly a liar, and if not, they are almost certainly a sociopath themselves.

You've heard it in all the war movies, when an older officer is inspiring a private. "We're all scared," he might say, "bravery is about what you do when you're scared, not when you don't have any fear."

The difference between a man who can successfully "not give a fuck" and one who lives in fear of approaching women is that the latter guy isn't just embarrassed or afraid... he is embarrassed and afraid to be embarrassed and afraid. "Not giving a fuck" is about recognizing and accepting how ridiculous you are; that you're this goofy creature who does stupid things.

Those asshole PUAs with their greasy slicked back hair, lava lamps, and water beds? The ones relishing in getting any woman at any point? Those guys are pretending they're not feeling what you're feeling because they're just as terrified as you are to feel embarrassed, but they've learned to hide it.

Those great guys who everybody likes, treat people well, and have women flock to them? The so called "naturals"? They get just as embarrassed but they don't freak out about it. What makes them "natural" is that they act natural... and being a little afraid to be rejected by a girl, or running out of things to say, or stammering and being a goof is a perfectly natural thing to happen.

Being "alpha" is about accepting this kind of stuff happens, and you're just a human being like everyone else. If you really think any of these mythical heros of yours are perfect - Clooney or Pitt or whoever you consider the ladies man of choice to be - you've let yourself be convinced of something that isn't true by imperfect information. Everyone has a vested interest in presenting themselves a certain way, and your own head is the only head you actually get to exist inside. But I promise you, everyone else walking around - ladies man or lady - is just as much a bizarrely evolved super-ape as you are. In their heads, the same shit is going on to a lesser or greater extent.

In order to successfully "not give a fuck", you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You knew that already. But what that means is to stop being embarrassed to be embarrassed. Just let yourself be self-deprecating or silly, and don't worry if other people see that you aren't perfect. If they judge you for it, that makes them the fool, not you.

Any situation that a "loser" finds themselves in can be turned into a "win" by just demonstrating that being thought of as a loser is irrelevant to your sense of self-value.

And a clarifying comment in the original thread from /u/IANAPUA_Yet:

Just let yourself be self-deprecating

Your overall point is dead on, but guys, be careful with this line. There are two types of self-deprecation. Insecure guys tend to use it preemptively to protect their ego by either lowering expectations or avoiding "risky" situations altogether. This not attractive at all.

Secure guys will use it retroactively; they'll look back on a mistake they've made and revel in the humor of it just as they would if it was someone else's mistake. Then they'll continue on with their night, ego completely intact.