Feel bad because I got rejected don't know why?

OutlawPUA · 2013-04-28T10:43:15+00:00

This is awesome, man :) The short answer is that you got blown out because you didn't build enough attraction with the girls. The solution? Have a couple go-to 'moves' to impress girls with.

I like your opener, actually. It went well up until you froze up. Right there, you could, for example, take one of the girls' hands and said "Did you know I can read palms?" and bullshit something about a romantic connection or how her palms are really sweaty. Then you could ask "are you guys best friends? You keep making the exact same facial expressions... You just did it again!". Make sure you don't forget to exchange names and some basic info, and you should easily get the number.

two_if_by_sea · 2013-04-28T09:40:48+00:00

Dude don't even worry about that!

DancesWithWenches · 2013-04-28T15:25:33+00:00

remember this, it is always exponentially harder to approach a group of girls, cause more often then not one guy perceived as desperate by a group of girls will look like an easy target for "entertainment".

new_player · 2013-04-28T12:39:15+00:00

no big deal just had some fun

That's just it.

What you're feeling is normal but let me tell you it gets easier the more it happens (and it will happen). In my opinion the handling of the rejection is just as important as closing because ultimately both affect your inner game. The key is to continue identifying that it was just a bit of fun and in the end you are absolutely no worse off than you were pre-approach, which means the approach was successful in and of itself. Good on you.

Also smooth recovery from their cold reception to the cake line. Being direct and cutting through the bullshit usually gets their attention.

HugzMonster · 2013-04-28T16:19:10+00:00

Don't think of it as a bad feeling. It's just a new feeling that you're not used to yet. Getting shot in the face is a bad feeling. Having your dog put down is a bad feeling. This is just new and a little bit awkward.

the_brick_attack · 2013-04-28T16:56:46+00:00

Good job on actually going up to them and talking. You already did more than about 75% of the men there would have done. You probably didn't build enough rapport is all. Mostly due to nervousness. You'll get over that as you approach more. The first few times you get rejected may hurt, but you really get over it. It's the only way you get better.

For an analogy, I suck at hitting a speed bag. I started doing it yesterday and my striking coach showed me a few things. I kept failing for a while and got a bit frustrated, but eventually I got the rhythm down. I'm still no expert at speed bags, but it's a start and it boosted confidence.

Make it your goal to simply open so many sets in a night. Then raise it to keeping a conversation, then kino, etc. Just work on the simplicity of the rhythm for now and the rest will come.

eablokker · 2013-04-28T18:33:24+00:00

You did a great job but the bad feeling probably comes from all the shitty things you say to yourself in your head. I bet you thought I fucked that up or I looked like an idiot or I'm such a loser… you can use cognitive therapy techniques or just try to notice the thoughts, interrupt them, and counteract them with positive thoughts like I did pretty good for my first approach, or people were impressed by my courage to do that…

Amplifix · 2013-04-29T01:09:01+00:00

Good job on the approach, you feel bad because you're not used to it (yet). You'll feel less bad with each rejection, I promise. After a while you don't even care anymore.

It might help you to get this into your head, as it helped me: "Rejection is the worst that can happen, so now i've got nothing to lose only to gain"

urmyheartBeatStopR · 2013-04-29T01:19:48+00:00

It's ok they just miss out on hanging out with a kewl guy.

Try taking out your phone and have it in front of them and tell them don't ask: "Gimme your phone number we can have coffee sometime"

Don't ask for it, tell them. Most people are follower anyway.

Unless your in a ghetto neighborhood, then they'll just take your phone and run...

KingAndre · 2013-04-28T16:35:14+00:00

You definitely have a fun opener! Anyway, yeh, rejection hurts but as you said you were having fun and it was no big deal. You'll get over it in no time, promise. Honestly, you took your rejection rather well from what it sounds like.

Sometimes I draw blanks too so I'm working on a technique to get around that. I'll politely excuse myself for whatever reason and say "well I'll see you around! Hope you enjoy your evening!". Later on I'll go back and re-open with "Hey ladies! So what'd I miss?" So far that's helped me get back into frame and it's made it easier to carry a conversation. I'm not worried bout first impressions or introductions 'cause I already have the state of mind that we already met and know each other. The drawback is (naturally) that if I wait too long the girls may leave.

But by that point I'm usually geared up to approach another set so it evens out. Again, work in progress with that but it's worked to my favor so far.

ruairi110 · 2013-04-28T09:57:59+00:00

Jesus, You cant just walk over and expect them to give you their phone number. You have to simmer with them, talk to them. Leave chat up lines at the previous table. "If they were a cake what kind of cake would they be?" is just a lame chat up line, and it's probably the reason why you didn't get her number. You must have been nervous because you introduced yourself twice which is fine, but girls pick up on those things. Most girls like confidence, Confidence is really key in these situations. Personally, What I would have done is walked over with a drink in my hand and probably said something like "You looked thirsty" while smiling, and then went to sit down... Abit of mystery goes a long way. After about ten mins I would get up and approach her, ask her if she enjoyed her drink, try to be funny etc. However, this is my approach, the best way I would do it, but the main key is to be confident, But don't expect because you've bought them a drink they owe you something

Dont get yourself down on that shit, it happens to every guy, move on. Just dont use stupid chat up lines, be yourself.

Title	Feel bad because I got rejected don't know why?
Author	thisisnotmypenis
Upvotes	16
Comments	19
Date	April 28, 2013 9:13 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d9ji4/feel_bad_because_i_got_rejected_dont_know_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feel-bad-because-i-got-rejected-dont-know-why.1351448 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351448

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