I never escalate because I'm uncomfortable with myself

chitownseddit · 2013-05-22T21:58:34+00:00

Man this hits close to home. I was 6'3" 295lbs when I graduated high school. I was not the most attractive guy, but I had game. I never had a problem dating cute girls, having hot dates to prom, what have you, but for some reason I also always felt self conscious about escalating.

I wasn't happy with myself at the time and it started to reflect on my relationship with girls and even with my friends. I got to the point where I thought so little of myself that I realized I needed a drastic change to save myself. It was a month into my freshman year of college that I decided to lose all my weight. It was a hard, shitty journey but something that I'll never regret.

By the time I was down 40lbs I started feeling like my old self again. I was again able to flirt with girls and get dates. But I still had a freakin problem convincing myself to escalate.

Fast forward to now, I'm sitting around 220 steadily dropping my winter belly fat getting ready for summer, and I'm finally happy with the way I see myself. I got hobbies such as cycling, playing guitar, and reading. I recently got a sweet job trading in Chicago. I now view myself highly and it's changed my life.

But looking back on it now I see: I always had it. I had cool hobbies, I played football, I was the life of the party. I was a person people wanted to be around, and the girls loved me. They found me cooler and more attractive than I found myself. What my problem was is that I projected onto her my negative view of myself. It was not a problem I had interacting with other people, it was a problem I had with accepting and loving myself. It was inner game.

The advice I can offer now is that you need to set a point where you want to be in the future physically, mentally, and emotionally and do what you can to get there. Since you KNOW you'll get there eventually, just "fake it till you make it". Accept yourself. Accept that at 6'4" you have an asset that you can never learn. Chicks dig tall guys who dig themselves. You're almost there. You just gotta love yourself. Good luck bro, a new you is closer than you think.

SegaTakai · 2013-05-23T00:59:35+00:00

First of all, escalation is hard. I'm 6'3" and 150 pounds and it's still the hardest fucking thing there is. Second, you actually look good (going by that picture), seriously, you know how to dress and you're tall enough that you just look big instead of fat.

Which brings me to my third point. If you go out and you force yourself to escalate like this, when you feel like your at your worst, in six months, when you're a slim motherfucker, you will be a god. Seriously, every bit of work you put in now, every time a girl turns you down is going to come back tenfold after you're comfortable with your body.

CptMaury · 2013-05-23T00:22:20+00:00

I agree that while having a nice body is a massive self confidence boost, you don't really need a body, it's all about your status and Vibe. BE THE FAT CEO, Here's a video from RSDJulien explaining the Concept.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgPRfkvR5KA

Dreidhen · 2013-05-23T01:11:29+00:00

Two words: assume attraction. Once you're let in (and remain in) their space and received an IOI or 2, ignore the doubt rattling around in your head-space and flip the script. It should never be, "Does she want to <whatever> with/to/at me", but "Do I want to <whatever> at/with/to her?" If Yes, then sarge on man.

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-23T03:34:01+00:00

Yeah, not enough self love.....

Yep. It's in your head. I knew a guy who had a face like an ogre (and his friends called him one, too) and weight problems (he was bigger than you), but he had ridiculous ridiculous game.

Realize that even changing your body is not going to address this. I also had a friend who looked like a famous, attractive actor but he shut HIMSELF down all the freaking time. (It was sad to see.) You're going to have to convince yourself that you're good enough. No one else is going to be able to do that for you.

ZWXse · 2013-05-23T01:24:06+00:00

I've known some bigger guys that were just funny as hell and that was their game. Be ok with being made fun of and even fire it right back. That's it.

kingcal · 2013-05-23T03:16:08+00:00

I used to be in the same boat. You're doing well so far. You're making a change in your life, and it'll change you in ways you never expected. I was only a bit smaller than you, and my self-esteem was in the basement. I finally lost like 60 pounds, and that alone got me a lot more attention from girls than I'd ever imagined. Then, once I started working on inner and outer game earnestly, shit clicked and I couldn't be happier with the results so far.

Keep doing what you're doing. In six months to a year, you'll be thinner, more confident, and pulling girls like it's your business.

russian329 · 2013-05-23T03:31:42+00:00

I have a similar problem: my sternum and left side ribs are poked in (similar to Pectus Excavatum, but kinda worse), so my chest is uneven and I always fear that people will notice it when I hug/get close to them.

I had a girl lay with her head in my stomach a few weeks ago and I was super self-conscious the whole time. What do I do about it? The two only things that I can do about it; try not to worry about it and work out, the feeling will eventually go away as I get more comfortable with it and working out will help my appearance.

Its hard, but I know I can make it, and so do you. It's even worse for me because eventually I'll have to take my shirt off and explain her why my chest is different, fortunately I thought about making a random history and then when they say "what?" or "srsly?" I explain I've been born with it lel.

LymeMN · 2013-05-23T05:38:09+00:00

I feel like we would be friends... i am also 6'4 300ish. Ive lost alot since i started working. My co-workers are all hot, and i tell them flat out i think that cuz i know there off limits. But when it comes to doing that stuff to any other female i dont know that well...i cant fuckin do it. :/

magicroot75 · 2013-05-23T23:51:49+00:00

If I've learned anything reading seddit and absorbing pretty much all the material available online it is that girls are unpredictable. You should NEVER predict that a girl won't be attracted to you.

puaCurveBall · 2013-05-22T20:58:28+00:00

I never escalate because I'm uncomfortable with myself

How is that working out for you?

The truth is it doesn't fucking matter if you are uncomfortable. if you want an outcome (women fucking you), then you need to escalate regardless of your comfort level.

Man up and force yourself to do what is needed for your wanted outcome, comfort be damned.

squattincassanova3 · 2013-05-22T23:10:31+00:00

If you don't like your body, fix it. Go buy your protein, creatine, BCAA, green tea extract, CLA, thermodynamics and sculpt your body.

I used to be super scrawny. Now I'm aesthetic as fuarrkkk.

puaCurveBall · 2013-05-22T19:37:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I never escalate because I'm uncomfortable with myself
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	41
Date	May 22, 2013 7:15 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1eupcg/i_never_escalate_because_im_uncomfortable_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-never-escalate-because-im-uncomfortable-with.1352696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1352696

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