So... i thought i was confident.

puntingbaxter · 2013-05-29T23:28:29+00:00

"hey Kobe how'd you learn to shoot that well?"

you know the answer to this question...

s0craduction · 2013-05-30T01:04:27+00:00

Are you this nervous talking to any stranger or just girls? Either way try taking a step back and just get used to talking to new people to warmup.

Go out and ask a couple people (guys and girls) for the time, where the nearest coffee place is, etc. The point is to just get comfortable talking to strangers and having a legit reason for starting the conversation will help with this.

When you are comfortable with this try to extend the conversation for a minute or two with general small talk etc. Think of a really stupid joke the stupider the better and tell it to them. It being stupid is important because what you'll see is almost everyone will still politely laugh at it. This will help to show you that people are generally pretty nice even to strangers.

You can keep upping the level of the interactions slowly until you just get comfortable and can cold approach. If you're still having trouble try just talking to them with the idea that you are definitely, 100% not, no matter what, going to pursue it beyond a 2-5 minute conversation. Set a time goal/limit and eject when the time is up. Do this until you don't notice you are nervous anymore then you'll be where you want to be.

2013-05-30T01:25:02+00:00

Congratulations. You are well on your way to expanding your comfort zone if you keep this up. Have you noticed it makes you feel more confident in your usual comfort zone?

kabrandon · 2013-05-30T01:51:51+00:00

Sometimes you have to remind yourself that these girls are just people. Look at them and try to put yourself in their shoes. They're a girl with problems and insecurities of their own. They're not some kind of demigod you put yourself to mercy to. Sometimes I still have to remind myself when I'm not in "state" yet.

Smiles_27 · 2013-05-30T01:59:05+00:00

I know that feels... I know it well. My anxiety has ramped up as I've aged, and frankly if you just keep at it you'll get better. As plain jane as that sounds, it's the answer.

eniak · 2013-05-30T15:44:08+00:00

Hey mate, how goes it? So I'm on the same boat as you: Just got started this month and have a huge difficulty approaching women. So far I've approached 5 girls using the simple pickup method and what I can say is: it feels so much better to be rejected than not to try.

One thing that I miss is having a wingman. I think it would help boost my self confidence a lot. But my friends are all pussies (or are already in a serious relationship), so I have to deal with it on my own. That's where seddit kinda plays a role: it's good to see that there are other people struggling with this subject and helping each other.

Greetings from Brazil!

kuk666 · 2013-06-12T15:49:22+00:00

Hey hows it going? Making progress?

I'm there to. I can chat up strangers with random stuff. But now that I have a goal of approaching girls I have a hard time motivating me to do it. I want to meet girls but my brain says: why? give me a reason to talk with her? Then I delay it until it I miss the window / feels creepy to approach...

It's so holding me back and I need to get over it!

DiagonalHorizon · 2013-05-30T03:30:05+00:00

Embrace rejection. There are too many women out there to count. And life is too short to sulk.

Title	So... i thought i was confident.
Author	Kappio
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	May 29, 2013 11:23 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fauxb/so_i_thought_i_was_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-thought-i-was-confident.1353041 https://theredarchive.com/post/1353041

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