My addiction to self-improvement has made me boring.

YCGrin · 2013-07-25T21:08:55+00:00

Your last sentence makes it pretty obvious... Spend less time working on your aesthetics and more time on what interests you?

Go out and do more of what you enjoy, there's plenty of time to work on your health and hobbies during the week.

SpaceCamper3 · 2013-07-25T23:47:10+00:00

I spend every waking moment trying to make myself more physically attractive

Then you're not actually doing self-improvement. You're trying to build up a facade hoping that either makes up for who you are, or somehow then turns you into a better person. You seem to have missed the boat on self-improvement. Self-improvement has so much more to do with mental than physical. Often the mental can lead to physical improvements, but that's not the point. What interests you? What kind of life do you want to live? WHO do you want to be? Don't be so weak you spend all your time trying to be physically attractive to make up for your deficiencies. Embrace who you are, and as cliche as this sounds, become the best motherfucking YOU that you can be. That's self-improvement.

kazagistar · 2013-07-25T21:34:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

johnalope23 · 2013-07-25T21:47:05+00:00

law of diminishing returns is a term i'd like to throw out there.

superchibisan2 · 2013-07-25T21:23:38+00:00

You need to get some hobbies.

metshower · 2013-07-25T23:49:33+00:00

Do you genuinely feel bored, or are you just worried about seeming like a boring person to other people? You're not living your life for the approval of other people, so don't let that trip you. If you're working on self-improvement (and you believe you're on the right path) then there's nothing wrong with treating that as the most important thing for you.

I think your question is more about Balance though. Here's a hack that worked for me -- give yourself some "time off" from all your responsibilities every day, maybe just an hour or so in the evenings, to do whatever you feel like doing at that moment. The only rule is that you cannot do unproductive stuff like TV, games, food, etc.. Also, it really should be something you feel like doing at that moment. It may actually take you 5-10 minutes just to figure out what you feel like doing. I've found that this "time off" is a great de-stressor, and my mind lights up with all the exciting things (usually a hobby) I can do guilt-free.

crazy_fly · 2013-07-26T00:14:48+00:00

Doesn't training, work, and shopping for clothes interest you?

I see that work is an essential to living. Are you working with what you love?

Training is an interest! What about training do you love? Find what benefits training gives you, and not just that you have muscles that impress girls... Maybe you love the pain, or the increase in energy afterwards...

Do you buy clothes because you are interested in fashion? I assume that if you are constantly buying clothes you must have a certain interest! You don't buy any shit piece of clothing from H&M?!

I'm sitting with the impression that you may be doing what you do for external validation, and maybe all that hard work dissapoints you because essentially you are not doing it for yourself, but for how others view you...

I suggest you sit down and think of what you burn for! Then go for that.... Regardless!

sleepsucks · 2013-07-25T23:14:15+00:00

Take some partner dancing classes - salsa, jive, ballroom, tango, ceroc. They'll teach you to be fun, sexy, talented while feeding the need to 'self-improve'.

centurijon · 2013-07-25T21:42:38+00:00

Balance in everything. Set aside time to get out and do things.

2013-07-26T01:11:54+00:00

Reading some books (or music/films or whatever you're into) and going out and having fun experiences is self-improvement as well.

You seem to think the problem is that you're not doing anything that interests you. As long as you know what those things are, though, the solution is pretty obvious.

thisisanemergency · 2013-07-26T02:37:47+00:00

Find a passion. If you have to find something that's not geared toward getting better with girls, find something that is geared towards fun for you and you only. I started improv for seduction, stayed for the fun. Really any sort of activity that is for you.

Also if you think it's boring, go out more. Find events in your city, get involved, volunteer, concerts, theatre, sports games, restaurants, galleries, etc.

I see a lot of comments on hobbies or other seduction things. You won't be boring if you go out to events etc, because you'll have stories and experiences. Don't forget to be an interesting conservationist too though. Cheers.

austinbayarea · 2013-07-26T08:39:14+00:00

I believe its all in your mindset. Part of self improvement is spending time improving other aspects of yourself. You've spent a good amount of time working on your body, so now you need to spend time working on your mind.

Be the person you want to be, relax and care less what others think. You might even think about going to a therapist. I started going because its covered by my insurance and I feel it has equalized me in many ways.

Therapy isn't just for people with mental disorders, sometimes its nice to talk to someone who is willing to listen and help you improve yourself.

hobodick · 2013-07-26T18:44:00+00:00

I think the problem here is your perception.

Why would you think self-improvement is boring?

Maybe you're spending too much time "improving" and not actually getting out there and talking to women?

Hobbies are good too.

puntingbaxter · 2013-07-25T21:12:12+00:00

One tip:

be tired all the time

Title	My addiction to self-improvement has made me boring.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	24
Date	July 25, 2013 9:00 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1j1xdk/my_addiction_to_selfimprovement_has_made_me_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-addiction-to-self-improvement-has-made-me.1355864 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355864

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