Tell me what my problem is

SimplePickup5 · 2013-09-28T20:47:53+00:00

Could it be that you're afraid to pursue the "cool, chill" girl because you're afraid of ruining your self-image?

I know for a while, I didn't go for the girls that I really, really like because I told myself "well, if I really wanted them, I could go for it". But in reality, it was just something I told myself so I wouldn't try. It was a way for me to maintain an egotistical self-image. Since I didn't try, I would never fail, and I would never give myself the opportunity to make a mistake and look bad. Basically, I was afraid to make myself vulnerable.

HappyJerk · 2013-09-29T00:53:34+00:00

It sounds like you are the type of person who has been rejected a lot, so now you are attracted to girls that are "above" you (i.e., about to reject you) and you lose interest in girls that actually like you. This is actually how most girls are. It's not a good way to be. Or it may be that you're just not attracting the kind of girls you want yet.

Also, it doesn't matter how you lose your virginity. That's some bullshit society made up.

coughcoughpow · 2013-09-28T22:22:32+00:00

Losing sexual interest in girls = mild nachos. Ask yourself what you really want. If you do want the spicy ones, you have to go get the spicy ones. Settle for nothing less, if that's what you want. Why are you asking for mild when you really want spicy? DEMAND SPICY! It's a crime against humanity to keep yourself from your destined role as the captain of spicy ladies. The spicy ladies will cry "Woe is us! Where's our spice-mastah? He has forsaken us for the milds!" :O

You write "I have some fucked up idea of who she is that isn't really her" It is her, she's a just a girl: she's emotionally dynamic and multifaceted. 2+2 doesn't equal 4, it equals ponies. Women aren't "one" way, they're all sorts of ways.

Women can be "crazy bitches" and still be absolutely normal. They can go from zero to sixty and back again. They just emote differently, so don't judge them when they peel off. Besides, if she doesn't have emotions going on, she's not going to be attracted.

Their bodies are also on a monthly time scale; they're going from sensitive to sexy to angry every few weeks.

I recommend banishing the word "slut" from your vocabulary. (Unless you're having wild sex with a wild girl in which case you can say "You're MY slut." The MY indicates the subtext = I want you so bad - aka you're special - that you're making me say crazy things.)

If you're worrying about women thinking it's serious, you can be honest up front (literally within minutes of meeting them) and say "You're very attractive, but I'm still dating around, I'm not looking for a serious relationship. I want to take it one step at a time."

If they bring it up again, you say "Remember when I told you I didn't want a relationship?"

When I lost my virginity at the ripe old age of 18, I was just like "Wahoo! Vagina!" I wasn't thinking about the consequences or if the girl was right or whatever. It was just "Hey this is the point in my period when I can't get pregnant." It was awkward! Sex didn't become really good until I met my first serious girlfriend a year later, at which point it was more like cosmic telepathic x-ray supernova explosions.

Does this help?

dj_bizarro · 2013-09-29T02:30:12+00:00

After reading your replies. Very simply; you're over thinking everything.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-09-29T02:48:25+00:00

If I had to make a wild guess, just judging from your reddit username, I would suspect you are modeling your PUA style after the wrong people.

SingAlong_Original · 2013-09-29T14:43:47+00:00

You get into the moment saying "this is great" but cant push it farther because of that. Do something to remind you, have an alarm vibrate 30 minutes into the club that says "Escalate" to remind you.

CodeMagenta · 2013-10-01T06:24:14+00:00

dont think so much, just put her hand on your dick when your making out and take it out and then finger her and then just fuck her and then start analyzing stuff cause right now you're lost analyzing from an improper foundation of inexperience

2013-10-06T23:49:26+00:00

A) Stop thinking about girls in terms of your dream girl and what you're calling "sluts" (I appreciate that you've put the word in quotes, but still. Purge that word from your vocabulary.)

This may seem like basic, even silly, advice but really I think part of your dilemma is a hangup with feeling guilty or bad about sex, disliking your partner because you don't respect her because after all she's fucking you, and how dirty is that? Etc. It's all in your mind. It's. All. In. Your. Mind.

Leading to point B, below:

B) Get out of your head, man. Sex, especially the first time, finds a way the moment you stop thinking about it.

Carry a condom, don't force things, let the flow take you. Go out with an older girl, maybe. Don't be embarrassed about your virginity, either, that's bullshit. At a certain age almost everyone's still a virgin and is just trying to hide it.

blinkums · 2013-09-29T01:37:40+00:00

Find out about success barriers.

Title	Tell me what my problem is
Author	SimplePickup5
Upvotes	13
Comments	27
Date	September 28, 2013 7:43 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nbuf0/tell_me_what_my_problem_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tell-me-what-my-problem-is.1359052 https://theredarchive.com/post/1359052

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