How to not be a jealous man

whinemoreplease · 2013-11-20T06:58:56+00:00

everyone has a choice.

they make a choice to be with you.

or they make a choice to not be with you.

even if you're married for 30 years, she could still make that choice to not be with you.

so when she's making that choice to be with you, appreciate it for what it is.

sid_company33 · 2013-11-20T11:28:35+00:00

'Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but Jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time.'

Jealousy basically arises from a lack of control..think about it.. seeing her with other guys makes you think you're losing her..

You have to realize this jealousy is just an exaggerated sense of loss amplified by chemicals in your brain.

I know it's cliched advice, but spinning plates is the only solution, it works wonders, actually it's the best advice for 90% of the questions asked here!.

acratophorus · 2013-11-20T09:52:56+00:00

Practically, every time you catch yourself having jealous thoughts, reason with yourself. Recognize that it's just a reaction, and then reason through it. You can tell yourself that it's unnecessary to be jealous (good that you already recognize the hypocrisy), that it's just a feeling that you don't have to embrace. Be patient with yourself and don't feel bad or guilty about feeling jealous.

Feeling Good actually has really good exercises for dealing with negative thought patterns. It is usually recommended for depression/anxiety, but I've found it really helpful with dealing with any sort of negativity.

St-Luke · 2013-11-20T11:12:28+00:00

If you havn't read ''Models'' yet then do it ASAP.

zero7k · 2013-11-20T11:46:58+00:00

just say "meh" and shrug your shoulders at the same time then walk away like zero fucks were given

that's what i do and it just goes away

joshsway · 2013-11-20T13:05:26+00:00

You cannot avoid jealousy, you have to learn to control it. There are areas where you simply have to ignore your jealousy, and areas where you are in the right to be jealous. How you balance that depends on you. Read more here: http://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/jealousy-accept-it-and-control-it

WillRedditForBitcoin · 2013-11-20T13:38:27+00:00

So you get jealous before you even get to know them? Or do you take a while to make a move?

HappyJerk · 2013-11-20T13:36:28+00:00

It's normal to feel jealous when you see a girl with other guys. It's in your genes. If it wasn't, society would have never invented marriage (which used to be basically a death penalty if you cheated).

You should flip your mindset to this: if she flirting with multiple guys then she is not really into you. When you do a good job, nobody else even exists to her.

whinemoreplease · 2013-11-20T08:22:37+00:00

[permanently deleted]

dunckle · 2013-11-20T13:23:12+00:00

There was another post that addressed this issue directly just a few days ago. This is what you need to read.

nittutt · 2013-11-20T13:59:03+00:00

Once you become the best man you can be, and happy with who that is you will no longer feel jealousy as you know that you are the best... If that makes sense.. :)

slcjosh · 2013-11-20T20:08:12+00:00

Just date multiple women. 9/10 times jealousy arises its because you have few options or are starting to cone down with a case of oneitis. If you start feeling jealous, meet more women.

hellosmileyface · 2013-11-20T21:07:59+00:00

I love the comments in this lol very helpful :)

disimulo · 2013-11-21T22:04:46+00:00

less of a to-do, more of a mnemonic: detect, defuse, dispose.

\1. acknowledge what you're feeling. 2. address the causes in a healthy, mature way* (google search "how to deal with xxx in a healthy, mature way") 3. take a deep breath, and let go of the emotion and the thoughts associated with it.

*may take longer than you think

TruRedditor89 · 2013-11-20T09:02:39+00:00

its all about confidence man. If you are secure with yourself, there is no reason to be jealous. not only is it unattractive but it says a lot about your self-esteem

Title	How to not be a jealous man
Author	Bobknows27
Upvotes	38
Comments	35
Date	November 20, 2013 5:40 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r1hpk/how_to_not_be_a_jealous_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-not-be-a-jealous-man.1361847 https://theredarchive.com/post/1361847

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