21 year old virgin here, getting rejected during escalation from lack of experience.

strange_hobbies · 2013-12-09T21:23:53+00:00

Seriously just sit back and let her do the work. Being inexperienced has nothing to do with bleeding insecurity. You seem to be escalating too soon, wait for more IOI's. If you work her up enough she will be fooling around with you.

2013-12-09T21:45:18+00:00

Dude get out of your own head. Have a drink or two if that would help. And sex is going to be furiously awkward your first time. Don't sweat it.

2013-12-10T05:55:28+00:00

How can I practice or get better at messing around so that sex goes smoothly and unawkwardly?

By doing it unsmoothly and awkwardly a bunch of times until you can do it smoothly and unawkwardly.

This is like asking, "if I currently suck at guitar, how can I practice so that I can play well?" Well dude, you practice until you stop sucking. A large part of that involves being terrible for a while, until you slowly learn how to not play terribly.

Whenever you learn something new, it's always going to be awkward as fuck in the beginning. You just move past it.

KidBill · 2013-12-10T08:45:37+00:00

I don't necessarily support following DiCarlo's escalation ladder, but this might at least give you some ideas

herman1804 · 2013-12-09T22:55:44+00:00

Honestly man, I can give you 2 solid tips . 1. Dont rush it. A lot of guys get very anxious, rushing. You need to slow the fuck down and spend time listening to what her body language tells you. Be slow and confident in your movements, dont just jab your hand don her pants or under her shirt, ease into it a bit, but be a bit firm (Not to much) 2. Practice your kissing. Go out, have fun, have some drinks and make out with random girls. You will have fun, itl build your confidence. Being a good kisser is paramount (In my opinion). It turns girls on and also teaches you to respond to their body language. You will do fine mate. Once you get over that fist hump, it gets easier.

Reddit_SLC · 2013-12-10T05:57:39+00:00

Practice with as many girls as you can and you will improve. Also, obviously alcohol doesn't hurt, especially when you are inexperienced.

Generally escalation needs to go in a slightly increasing manner that should come naturally. The general flow is usually interest>flirting>kissing>heavy making out and light touching>heavy touching.

goo22 · 2013-12-11T01:14:33+00:00

rejected from lack of experience

answer: get experience

-_Z_- · 2013-12-11T12:31:28+00:00

It seems to me that one way in which guys can be off-putting to girls in sexual scenarios is by over-thinking; "Shit, how is this for her", "I hope/wonder if she's enjoying this", "I really want to do x but I am unsure if she wants to or not..."

Does this sound familiar? Is it what you think about when you're making out with a girl?

One of the greatest aspects of sexuality is that you inherently and biologically want to experience it with another person. Emphasis: you want. I'm sure you're familiar with the idea that many women enjoy (to varying degrees) being dominated by their man sexually. A man being dominant sexually typically means never deferring to the woman about what to do/how to do it, and always imposing your sexual will (reasonably) unto her. This seems to imply that women enjoy sex when their man is enjoying it as much as possible, because when he behaves in that way, it just so happens to bring about the sexual behavior that they enjoy the most, too.

What should you take from this? Next time you're making out with a girl, you can act more naturally by just enjoying it, and kissing her in the way that you want to. Fucking experience her lips and tongue, man, and in whatever way is most enjoyable to you. The reason that people have different 'kissing styles' is because different people enjoy the experience of kissing in different ways. So, if during the experience you are acting so as to maximize your own pleasure, you will likely also maximize her pleasure as well.

This principle can be extrapolated to escalating and even sex. If you are feeling horny and want to play with her tits, so badly that you can't wait any longer to see them naked, then ACT on your will! Forcefully grab her shirt and take it off her! You want to feel her pussy? Fucking do it. The awkwardness comes from you wanting to enjoy yourself but worrying too much about whether or not she's enjoying herself. If you worry more about yourself and your own enjoyment (while still reasonably taking hers into consideration), it won't be awkward, it will be amazing.

Title	21 year old virgin here, getting rejected during escalation from lack of experience.
Author	seddithelpme
Upvotes	27
Comments	18
Date	December 9, 2013 8:54 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1shnjd/21_year_old_virgin_here_getting_rejected_during/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21-year-old-virgin-here-getting-rejected-during.1362793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362793

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