A depressed BB coworker is trying to ruin recently-healed reputation and I don't know how to stop him... any ideas?

Big_Red_suppository · 2018-11-03T14:44:11+00:00

I've experienced maybe two instances that I know of where a co worker not liking me for some reason. I'm generally well liked but occasionally someone might be jealous and have it out for me. Nothing ever comes of this, they stop whatever they're doing before long and you wanna know why?

Because I genuinely and absolutely do not give a shit about them. I only care about what the guy who gives me raises and signs my paycheck thinks of me. And they like me because I'm good at what I do and get shit done, a reason people I don't even interact also like me.

Dont feed the beast. Bullies and miserable people feed off affecting you and making you react. If they dont get that then they will stop. Stay out of office drama and shit that doesnt conern you, be the better person.

liberty1127 · 2018-11-03T13:52:02+00:00

Come in early and shit on his keyboard.

Big_Homie_Mozi · 2018-11-03T15:45:23+00:00

Check out 48 laws of power, the books got some good points for dealing with people in situations like this. Don’t let him get to your head. Amused mastery

Skuggasveinn · 2018-11-03T14:16:07+00:00

What would Machiavelli do?

Personally, I would just ignore the fucker and move on.

Pooddit · 2018-11-03T17:47:16+00:00

I deal with aggressive people often now that I don't fold over like a wet noodle.

You cannot ignore these people. THEY ARE AGGRESSIVE. Old ladies, young punks, whatever. It's still aggression if they're trying to punk you out. Ignoring them is foolish, because they are actively working against you.

They are building rapport with everyone else. They are rallying the a group around them.

They are talking about you in a negative light to everyone else to change their perceptions of you.

By ignoring them, and not talking about it with others, you are isolating yourself. They will use this to say "see, he's not one of us" to others, while you sit there thinking you are winning by DOING NOTHING.

In talking with others, they learn you have no ALLIES. They will then go on the attack and talk shit to you right to your face in front of others. You sit there like a FOOL and let this happen "ignoring them" while everyone else there thinks the aggressor is the ONE IN THE RIGHT because they have successfully character assassinated you with everyone else!!

Advanced level: They act like they are your friend. They gather information to use against you. They use it to character assassinate you. They also do this to other people, or reserve the ability to, in learning the information about them when they built rapport.

Some people are afraid of their secrets getting out so they will do anything that the aggressor says. They are the weak disposable weapons of the aggressor.

Some people are too damn nice, like I was. I thought people would leave me alone if I ignored them and minded my own business. NO YOU FOOL, that is easy mode for aggressors. I was afraid to be mean and stand up to the aggressors, afraid to talk shit about them behind their back, because that would make me "like them." Whoever made that up tells that to people so they will easily be taken advantage of.

Be like them and show them that you will FIGHT DIRTY.

BUILD RAPPORT. BUILD A POSSE, rally men and women. No one will fuck with a gang. Make friends with everyone to show them who you are, especially the authority figures. Be "genuine."

Talk about their actions to others.

This is all to show the person that you don't back down and you are able to put up a fight. It will make them stop.

FireDrillem · 2018-11-03T17:05:56+00:00

Treat him as you would an unattractive, needy and manipulative woman. Ignore, ignore, ignore! DO NOT react to her BS. Respond competently. Focus on being the best. Don’t participate in the drama at all.

Zoddo · 2018-11-03T17:53:26+00:00

in one of his latest failures, I warned the moron that the woman he's been helping for so long threw him under the bus with the company owner more than once and was making him a scapegoat for her failures. He even got reprimanded by the owner. And you know what he did? He ignored me, and keeps helping her... wtf is wrong with men like this???

Stop helping him you dunce. Every time you interact with this person you're putting yourself at risk. Weak people in the workplace more often than not are the most dangerous because of their inability to accept their position in the hierarchy. Tearing others down instead of working on themselves is infinitely easier for them. Ignore him, and he will inevitably crash and burn on his own accord.

bestCallEver · 2018-11-03T13:45:36+00:00

If he's such a ween do you really think anyone else is taking his bullshit seriously? Does be really have the power to emo you into a bad reputation?

Unlucky_Leader · 2018-11-03T16:25:15+00:00

corporate land series in the side-bar is your reading material

http://archive.is/X3Cxv

red_matrix · 2018-11-03T17:14:45+00:00

This kind of passive aggression can be dangerous. It’s the end of the year so I assume now is when you do your employee evaluations? Give his manager some honest feedback on what you see as problematic behavior and how it’s hurting the company and your ability to do the job. Office politics are super messy and can blowup for no reason. He’s trying to play you, don’t let him. Act like you don’t care, pay him no attention and stay out of his way, he’s laying traps for you - no matter what, keep your cool!!

takobozu · 2018-11-03T19:36:01+00:00

you sound like a beta bitch, grow a pair.

TheBeardedMarxist · 2018-11-03T18:25:40+00:00

Both of you guys sound like losers. Do you not know how to tell someone to shut the fuck up?

DuckCommanderH75 · 2018-11-03T20:10:15+00:00

Kyle if this is you i'm beating your ass at work Monday!

chrisname · 2018-11-04T09:10:29+00:00

I would take the high road - publicly ask him to have a private chat with you. Ask him what’s wrong, why does he feel the need to target you, what can you do to make him feel better. Make sure somebody well regarded finds out that you did this. It will increase everyone’s respect for you and make you look like the bigger person.

Let him assassinate his own character by being an immature weenie while you look like a good leader. This is the real Machiavellian solution, not fucking ignoring him and not trying to beat him at his own game - he has a massive head start on you and you will only make yourself look worse.

I would also go with the advice to tell the boss your criticisms, but dress it up as wanting to help him improve, or at least that he is harming the office environment rather than you personally. Being the bigger person is key. If you act personally insulted, it’ll just look like petty squabbling.

friendandadvisor · 2018-11-04T12:51:21+00:00

Record his shit. Then, find out the laws for surreptitious recordings in your state. If legal, take them to your boss.

Or, just go to your boss and say that you're worried that the freak's sullen behavior may have a bad effect on your workers. Or, maybe that his sullen disposition is a warning of impending violence, kind of like Parkland or Columbine.

[deleted] · 2018-11-03T15:24:32+00:00

Meet this guy for drinks under the pretext of hashing this out. Keep a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a stiff drink nearby at all times. Be sure the drink is 80 proof or stronger, no ice, no mixer. Pretend to be more buzzed than you are, and at some point try to light a cigarette while keeping the drink in your hand. "Accidentally" spill the drink down the front of this guy's pants and without pausing, brush the lighter up against his alcohol soaked crotch. The idea is that you were going to light the cigarette but you lost your balance and, while trying to recover, lit his crotch instead. Then, as this fucker is standing there with his nuts on fire, you just walk away smirking.

Skuggasveinn · 2018-11-03T14:13:43+00:00

What would Machiavelli do?

Personally I would just ignore the fucker and move on.

unique_leek_critique · 2018-11-03T17:45:40+00:00

I think I'd probably just ignore him and keep being good at your job. Another option and maybe this is beta of me but I've had success befriending a dude like that and that essentially solved the problem.

TheDonCap · 2018-11-03T18:36:34+00:00

I can relate to you OP in regards to the height and experience.
Unless it’s an important friend or family member in your life, Ignore this dipshit, and look out for yourself. Feed into what he’s obviously fishing a reaction out of and you lose the game here. Place your bet on natural selection taking its course for the weaker man in this situation.

sixseven89 · 2018-11-03T19:58:27+00:00

have you tried ignoring him

babybopp · 2018-11-03T23:32:32+00:00

Look yesterday i had a waitress i was talking to tell her friend that i told her that snapchat is good for sending nudes. She gave me her snap weeks ago. I have known this girl for weeks and her carrot top manager overheard her say this and decided that i was harassing the servers. Literally looks like carrot top and thing is this, he amped it so much it made me look like the bad guy. Betas exist. Some in high places or places where they are untouchable and make the most noise. Just avoid them. Do not try to engage them. Beta can be mentally weak but physically strong. Dont ever forget that. They can fuck up your job. Best is to ignore them. If they continue find some reason to report them to hr.

look_good · 2018-11-03T23:33:50+00:00

you’re being a woman. is he affecting anything other than your emotions? stop being a bitch and work on your frame. others can sense it.

thesquarerootof1 · 2018-11-03T15:44:10+00:00

I am very curious. What is your job description ? What do you do for a living ? If you are really skilled and have an education, then find a better paying job.

derrtderr · 2018-11-03T14:23:23+00:00

You’re a dick and everybody knows it.

Your reputation is of a snake that gets people fired when he doesn’t like them. You’re a bully who thinks he can intimidate people without consequence. What you’re going to discover is that the people you work with don’t like you and don’t have your back.

Be careful who you step on on your way to the top. You’re gonna see them again on your way down.

Title	A depressed BB coworker is trying to ruin recently-healed reputation and I don't know how to stop him... any ideas?
Author	karen_txj
Upvotes	58
Comments	69
Date	November 3, 2018 1:08 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ttxpf/a_depressed_bb_coworker_is_trying_to_ruin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/a-depressed-bb-coworker-is-trying-to-ruin-recently.136491 https://theredarchive.com/post/136491

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