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[FR] Coffee Shop Girl Date 1: Why Hobbies Are Important

[deleted]

March 14, 2014

37 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Title	[FR] Coffee Shop Girl Date 1: Why Hobbies Are Important
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	37
Comments	36
Date	March 14, 2014 11:54 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20e9mu/fr_coffee_shop_girl_date_1_why_hobbies_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-coffee-shop-girl-date-1-why-hobbies-are.1367548 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367548

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[–]ARealSocialIdiot 39 points40 points41 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Gladly! I will apologize in advance that verbosity has always been my forte, so if you read all of this, thank you.

For me, a conversation should be two things: flowing and relevant.

Using a basic assumption (ie that people enjoy talking about themselves), you can utilize that piece of psychology to adjust and flow a conversation based on a person's interests and ideals. Also keep in mind that (at least in my experience) a when a person is willing to divulge personal stories, that generally means an assumption of trust and attraction.

So the end game is that you want the person to "show their cards". A quick preface: this is not specific to "pick up"; rather this technique is used generally to build rapport and can be employed in any means where you need to gain trust and attraction with another person in a relatively short amount of time.

The way I've done this in the past can be demonstrated through a sample conversation.

[Scenario] Let's suppose you're at a bar, and you see a person reading a book regarding a subject you're either interested in or perhaps are either a subject matter expert in. My specific "case in point" would be an event I was at where a girl was reading from some kind of "Learning to speak German" book. I'm not fluent in German, but I did spend a year in Germany with 5th Army. So it would go like this:

Me: "Is that a good book?" (Notice right away I'm keeping the topics "off line" or, not related to either one of us personally)

Girl: "Yeah, it is. It's got a lot of good information about learning German."

Me: Awesome! I've always loved Germany, it's such a beautiful country don't you agree?" (You'll notice the layers of this statement and question. I've subtly implied that I've been there, presumably enjoyed my time, and then bounced that reference back to my subject to answer themselves, keeping the ball in their court so to speak.)

Her: "No, I haven't been yet, but I'd love to go sometime." (Here I ran into a bit of snag, because there was no available hook to go off I had to adjust and overcome.)

Me: You totally should. Maybe you could go through your school or church or something? Have you considered that? (Now here, I've done two things. First, kept the conversation flowing, and also left up two options for her to cling to, she can answer in the affirmative and I will know that she could be a college student, or perhaps active in her church.)

Her: "Yeah, I think my school has a study abroad program I could look into". (We now know she's a college student, which now opens up paths for all manners of conversation: what her major is, where she goes to school, why she chose that school, what she wants to do later, etc.)

Eventually, she began asking me questions about Germany (bringing it all back around), and I took the opportunity to go on about my military service (demonstrated value and social proof), the work I did there (music, so bonus points and conversation), and a few humorous stories of alcohol-driven follies that placed me in comical scenarios.

The idea is that you're attempting to negotiate the shortest point from A to B. You want this person to like you, or at the very least trust you from your brief conversation. At that point when you feel comfortable, you may offer to exchange information for later meetings.

If I missed anything or you need more let me know.

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