How do I get out of my head? I keep making excuses to approach girls and want it to stop!

trampabroad · 2014-11-17T05:38:55+00:00

Approach anxiety happens to all of us. The best way out of it is to get in the habit of talking to strangers.

Buying coffee? Make small talk with the girl at the cash register. Shopping? Make small talk while you're waiting in line. On the bus? chitchat with the person next to you.

Don't worry about attracting them, or even annoying them. The point is to decondition your approach anxiety, not to start seducting.

0Rudy0 · 2014-11-17T14:51:41+00:00

this always motivated me - 20 seconds of insane curage

Dr_Bishop · 2014-11-17T10:29:41+00:00

Don't give yourself time to think. As soon as you want it just throw foot in front of the other, walk standing tall, like you're going into battle. Then speak to her.

If you pause for a minute and consider it there'll always be a risk you talk yourself out of making the approach. You sound pretty good at talking yourself out of it. So don't run that risk.

Just make moves.

Personally I committed to failing once a day at first. This worked wonders for me. I was super committed to failing at an approach once a day. At first it was a hassle, I felt like an ass. Then I stopped carrying, it was just like if I go get shot down by that chick, it'll be over and I can get back to my day... these half assed, unenthusiastic, nothing to lose approaches started working really well since I wasn't nervous. It was just second nature for me to approach women after a few months of doing this. So I switched it up to getting shot down three times a day. I started having trouble making the quota. So I decided that one number a day would have to do... and brother it worked. I'd gotten so easy with the idea of failure that it didn't freak me out anymore. I got comfortable so I could laugh at the awkwardness and enjoy being a little silly/playful in my approaches... then I just started to enjoy it.

I know what you're talking about is totally normal. For guys this is our default setting. Men fear rejection more than death (because society has told us that getting shot down is a big deal)... rejection is not a big deal. She might reject you because she's in a relationship, or she's got herpes, or she's on the rag, or she was raped recently, or, or, or... maybe she's just in a shitty mood, or Who the fuck knows why? I don't care why.

I just know that I miss 100% of the shots I don't take (I think that's a Gretzky quote).

Just throw one foot in front of the other without thinking.

Literally I never have a plan of what to say until I start speaking... if I do it comes out like a line (because then it is a line), and it sounds forced... I usually open with eye contact, solid playful smile, and then Hey I'm _____

That's all you have to do.

You've got it. You're here which means you want it. Now just commit to throw that foot in front of the other next time you see a girl that you'd like to make.

EDIT: Half awake, my spelling sucks. Goodnight reddit

Borax_ · 2014-11-17T22:49:16+00:00

How can I be charismatic? I talk to people on the daily but I don't make any sort of connection, I feel like a parent talking to a teenager about something in style.

RandomGoodMan · 2014-11-17T04:53:17+00:00

Strike up convos with random people throughout your day. Makes approaching someone attractive second nature as you do this with everyone.

aceofspades8 · 2014-11-17T15:35:20+00:00

Learn to channel that approach anxiety into sheer excitement and thrill. Instead of deriving fear from the approach, you'll feel a rush and an urge seduce the fuck out of that chick

TrinityBay · 2014-11-18T02:01:50+00:00

This may be just what you are looking for

accountingdouche · 2014-11-18T02:45:30+00:00

Just approach dawg. Be like "Hey, or Hi my name is X, whats yours" and then start the convo, if she's feeling you then proceed with the convo get a feel for her though. Thats sort of how I asked out like over 200 girls.

Synzael · 2014-11-17T10:50:41+00:00

Just don't get down on yourself if you didn't approach. Theirs plenty of fish in the sea.

Title	How do I get out of my head? I keep making excuses to approach girls and want it to stop!
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	14
Date	November 17, 2014 4:43 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2mj5ac/how_do_i_get_out_of_my_head_i_keep_making_excuses/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-get-out-of-my-head-i-keep-making-excuses.1379745 https://theredarchive.com/post/1379745

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