Alright so this happened last night. I've been semi-lurking on Seddit for a little under 2 years and wanted to share this to see where I can improve and highlight some tips in more detail for questions like "How do I escalate kino".

I went out to a local club with some friends to dance (I did, it was great) and had a blast in general. This had me in a very positive frame. I did not do any approaches as I was originally going home early for an 8 am presentation.

This girl and I have hung out a few times before through mutual friends. I would call her a HB8 or so. Very friendly. Around 1 am I am leaving the bar (where I work as well, so plenty of social proof here, friends all over). She knocks on the window waving at me to come back in. [Definite IOI].

We haven't seen each other in 6 months, I treat her like a old friend I've known forever. I immediately initiate physical contact with a hug, picking her up off the ground.[Kino] I meet up with her friend ( a guy). We talk and get caught up, turns out I know the guys brother.

Throughout our conversation I am constantly bringing her closer to me, sometimes placing my arm around her briefly, setting my hand on her knee during a high-energy portion of the conversation. I guide the conversation talking about how my life has been, hers etc. We talked for about an hour, about her ex (a friend of mine), my ex (she knew her). During intimate moments I take advantage to once again bring her in close, only briefly. [Push-pull, Kino] During these intimate moments she reciprocates and at times kisses me on the cheek. My focus on personal comfort and rapport in the beginning (very brief proximity, hugs, light contact to the upper back, shoulder and knee) to physical contact near the end of the conversation (resting my hand on her knee, arm around her should etc..).

Here I want to emphasize the frame. I am not afraid to bring up my ex with girls. Remember YOU control the frame. I don't talk about how she was attractive, I talk about how I grew as a person etc... In this case that's where the conversation was going so it was very fluid.

We leave the bar at last call, I offer them a ride since it's cold as hell out (Ohio ftw). She was originally going to sleep on his couch, but he didn't want to deal with her at this point. I surmise likely because he is friend zoned and I was on 'his' turf. I wind up taking her back to my place. One note I want to make here, I pushed really hard during this part of the conversation (no contact). I think this worked well and framed my outcome independence. I'm friends with this girl, however this works out its not a big deal.

At my place I immediately change into PJ's. I want the atmosphere to feel relaxed and intimate. I wind up loaning her a pair of PJ's as well. This not only sets the frame at my home but gets rid of high-maintenance clothing. I move the couch in front of my PC and we play portal 2 for awhile. While on the couch I start re-initiating contact. Once again, starting with the shoulders and knees, then working up to more intimate contact.

After a point I tell her I want to go to bed (8 am presentation) and lead her to the bed with me. At this point she says "We're not having sex". I respond "That's fine, you can sleep in the guest bed or we can just cuddle". She opts for the latter. Obviously we didn't just cuddle. I want to emphasize here that the entire time I was guiding, being gently assertive. Guiding her to lay how I wanted so that I could escalate.

My question for seddit is this; I am confident/comfortable in the bedroom and with contact. Depending on the girl I can build very strong rapport leading to the former. My struggle is building this rapport from scratch on a cold approach.

Hopefully this is helpful for some people, and feedback/questions are welcome. Overall this was a easy catch as she was obviously interested. I'm hoping to meet up again with her sometime next week.

EDIT: I also want to note here folks, I'm pretty average looking, of average build, and an engineering major!