FWB [F19] wants to buy me [M19] a £500 watch.

gurglemel · 2013-11-17T17:29:41+00:00

Don't do it. She is just setting herself up to be able to use this act as justification for something else.

[deleted] · 2013-11-17T20:50:43+00:00

Icaruswasright · 2013-11-17T23:14:57+00:00

Say thank you! Congratulations, you have now acquired a £500 watch that you wanted.

If someone gives you a costly gift they are probably going to care for you more in the future thanks to commitment bias.

As long as she's not insane, is in a position to affort it, and the money/watch is acquired in a legal and moral fashion I do not see the problem here. Enjoy your new watch and take her out to a fancy dinner and give her some nice orgasms to reward this great behaviour.

Mr_Bell · 2013-11-17T17:26:42+00:00

If a man spends money on a woman, "it is meant as a gift." If by any chance the man throws something like "I was such a fool for spending money on you" during a fight for instance, he's bound to a shitstorm.

If a women spends money on a man and he dumps her, she gets to say "I was such a fool for spending money on him; poor me."

TLDR: beware that she may use this against you in the future.

Offensive_Brute · 2013-11-17T22:20:39+00:00

you are fucking other women, but it sounds like you prefer this one, and it seems like she prefers you too. If she was your girlfriend in a monogamous relationship I'd say beware the trojan watch, but the way it sounds, I think shes just trying to signal to you that she'd like to be your bottom bitch.

Doomsday_ · 2013-11-17T22:34:11+00:00

FWB spending that much on a gift with you seems kind of odd, unless she's quite wealthy.

But as long as you make sure you're on the same page concerning your expectations for the relationship (i.e., she does not see her performing such an act as an assertion of "girlfriend" status or some other sort of imposition of obligation on you), I don't see any harm in accepting the gift. If she wants to do nice things to chase you, go ahead and let her--it reinforces the notion of your higher value.

I would avoid reciprocating with the same gift for her (esp. a watch of equal value--this implies a direct exchange). If you want to get her something in return, get her something else entirely--e.g., a weekend getaway for the two of you. And remember the fifth commandment: give her 2/3 of everything she gives you: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

[deleted] · 2013-11-18T10:05:34+00:00

I agree with the "don't accept shit for free" mentality as a general principle. The free lunch is poison.

But this being said, the truth behind the idea is not "never accept gifts". It's "don't give the gifts power to influence your behavior or create guilt within yourself." If someone wants to help you, you can accept the help. You shouldn't have a hardline "I NEVER ACCEPT SHIT FROM ANYONE" attitude - that is stupid. You can, situationally, accept the gift as long as you are mentally strong enough to not feel indebted.

She got you a watch because she wanted to. She knows its "too much" for a gift, but she evaluated that for whatever reason, it was the right choice for her. This doesn't mean you owe her anything, though. Don't let it cloud your judgment of her as a person and what you want out of your relationship.

The free lunch isn't poison, it's your own reaction to it that is good or bad for you.

[deleted] · 2013-11-17T17:02:24+00:00

A FWB who wants to spend 500 on you? Well then...

Anyway. Its up to you. I dont see what harm it could do. Ill err on the side of caution and suggest you make sure she gets yours before you get hers.

DirtyD27 · 2013-11-17T20:27:03+00:00

Obviously she has hidden motives, just tell her that's way too heavy to wear on your wrist.

[deleted] · 2013-11-18T07:54:25+00:00

Hahaha fuck no

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2013-11-18T23:15:18+00:00

Consider it an attempt at bribery. She will use it to manipulate or shame you into doing something in the future.

Nemester · 2013-11-19T05:00:37+00:00

It depends on how strong your conscience is. Most women would take it and dump the guy in a week without a second thought. If you can pull that off without guilt then go for it. She will just want you even more because she is getting invested.

If you can't control your sense of guilt, then you probably don't want to accept it since it will leave you in a bad state.

HeadingRed · 2013-11-19T21:31:24+00:00

Don't.

Pushnikov · 2013-11-20T01:58:33+00:00

IMHO, buy the watch yourself, and then tell her what to spend the money on instead for you.

This keeps you in control of your own gift, but lets her spend something on what you want her to spend it on and not usurp your gift for yourself as a token for her to use psychologically to validate something she wants.

If she doesn't want to spend the 500 pounds on whatever else you want, then maybe she had a specific reason in mind to get you that watch which is probably better to have avoided.

In a way she could see that watch as having some ownership over you, and that's obviously not good.

Gstreetshit · 2013-11-19T20:43:19+00:00

I would let her buy it.

Title	FWB [F19] wants to buy me [M19] a £500 watch.
Author	permabulkjelly
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	November 17, 2013 4:58 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1qtwx6/fwb_f19_wants_to_buy_me_m19_a_500_watch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fwb-f19-wants-to-buy-me-m19-a-500-watch.138479 https://theredarchive.com/post/138479

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