Not able to approach girls. Beginners tips

thugswagyolo420 · 2015-03-13T16:30:41+00:00

First I'll talk about how I make approaches easier for myself, and then I'll give a couple practical things you can say or do.

CLEAR YOUR MIND - When you allow too much thought then you start to evaluate how you look, what she will think of you, etc. And this is especially bad if you've never had success with an attractive girl, because when your mind references itself in the moment, it only has failure to remember. So when you see a girl, try to blank your mind. Take a deep slow breath, and try to think about nothing but that breath. It's like a quick mini meditation within those 3 seconds before you approach her. When some thoughts do start to creep back in as you approach, the first ones will be thoughts of sexual desire, not thoughts of fear or embarrassment. The clearing your mind basically is quieting the bullshit in your head, and letting your natural instincts to want her speak up.
GET YOUR BODY LANGUAGE TOGETHER - Don't over do it, but try to fall into a strong, manly posture. Shoulders relaxed, head up, back straight. Walking a bit more slowly, walking in a straight line and not weaving around people, or turning your body for them. When you do this, you'll naturally start to feel more dominant. You'll feel more powerful and tell yourself you can do it Also, you'll just look more attractive once you do approach. You make more of an impact with how you carry yourself, than with what you say.

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So as for openers, indirect ones are going to be easier for you. Here's some I use:

(Holding up shirt in a store) "Do you think this is a good shirt for me?"
(Standing in line at a sandwich place) "4.50 for grilled cheese...it's two slices of white bread and a slice of american cheese."
"I'm trying to save my phone battery so it's turned off, what time is it?"

The first one is asking her opinion on something, the second is making an observation about something at hand, and the third is just a functional question. I would say make up a couple of your own opinion and observational openers.

You could also go direct:

1. Politely get her attention. ex: "Hey, can I talk to you for a second"
2. Explain how you wound up at this point. ex: "I just noticed you chilling here."
3. Let her know you like what you saw. ex " And I just thought you were really cute."
4. GET MORE SPECIFIC. ex: "You've got nice eyes, nice hair." (This part needs to be specific to her and authentic. What about her turns you on to her? Tell her that thing. Let it fall out of your mouth in a way.)
Transition into a bit of chatting. ex: "So your just on your lunch or what?"

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As your putting these things into practice you can desensitize yourself to it, by working your way up in difficulty. Do five warm up approaches first. First indirectly open less attractive girls. Then chat with shop girls and waitresses (they'll open for you it's their job). These two things will desensitize you to the scary thing that is speaking to a girl. Once you are a bit desensitized, talking to girls you want will feel easier.

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Any questions?

diggingme · 2015-03-13T15:05:15+00:00

Hi! I've just started using this sub myself.

I literally just got a girl's phone number, it was in the library and naturally I was nervous just like you.

I'd been watching a vid on SimplePickup (good youtube channel), about Bitch anxiety which basically states "We make excuses not to talk to the girl, therefore we're bitches".Ironically I watched it laughing, because I never thought I was a 'bitch' until I struggled to approach this girl. I made up literally a million excuses not to, then realised I was having a classic case of Bitch anxiety.

When the library was abit more empty - so people wouldn't see me try and maybe fail (haha), I approached the girl stating that I didn't understand a phrase in my book, she was really kind and offered me help (this is the first stage of the pull, I had her attention), next I cut the bullshit charade (important to do this early on) and told her I thought she was really good looking, from there we chatted about our work, she was busy doing an essay so I took this que to say "Obviously your busy and can't talk now, can I have your number?" and the rest is history....

txroller · 2015-03-13T15:07:19+00:00

simply said "it gets easier the more you do it" yes, it will feel awkward the first few times you do it. The faster you get past that awkwardness the better. no excuses just do it

jmatre · 2015-03-13T17:24:46+00:00

Start by being a social person in general, talk to anyone and everyone. That will help to get into the groove.

indigo456 · 2015-03-13T18:53:42+00:00

Approach people walking with dogs. Say you like their dog.

Talk with older people.

Talk about their book, newspaper, something you noticed about them.

Just get it going, after a while it will be natural for you.

Remember - people are repetition machines! We are good at what we do all the time.

joshsway · 2015-03-13T19:29:57+00:00

Try baby steps in between a 'full blown' approach. Here's a system I developed that helps if you can't "just go talk to her: https://www.joshsway.com/articles/view/6-ways-to-combat-approach-anxiety

sofianechronicle · 2015-03-14T12:32:18+00:00

Hello, I have one tip to share with you, just focus on your fears ! Because When you focus on them, you make space between you and this fear ! Whereas, When don't make space between you and your emotions, you become these emotions.. This is my tip to approach and overcome my fears. I also focus on what I want from this girl and don't believe in negative thoughts. make space between you and your thoughts ! its also useful for everything you want in your life, one more thing, you are the best, good luck :)

kazagistar · 2015-03-13T14:59:21+00:00

Sidebar (approach anxiety) ---->

Title	Not able to approach girls. Beginners tips
Author	writerbusiness
Upvotes	6
Comments	13
Date	March 13, 2015 2:53 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2ywy16/not_able_to_approach_girls_beginners_tips/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-able-to-approach-girls-beginners-tips.1385257 https://theredarchive.com/post/1385257

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