If you ask a girl for her number, and she doesn't give it to you. Is there a way to follow up and increase your chances a second time?

DrBorisGobshite · 2015-05-17T21:13:15+00:00

So this is the girl that works at a bar you went who told you effectively 'I don't shit where I eat'. I see you mentioned you were going back to that bar again in the future as well.

My advice is don't ask her again. She made her position clear the last time you saw her, asking her again is just going to annoy her. If you are going back to that bar you are going because you liked the food/atmosphere, not because you fancy the waitress.

The only way you get her number is by not trying to get her number. She has to ask you for your number. To do that you need to show her your not just another guy that hit on her at work. Be cool, have a good time with your friends and have some fun. If there are other girls around hit on them, if there are other bar maids have some fun with them as well.

IpickupGrandmothers · 2015-05-17T22:19:55+00:00

You want to actually create some sort of connection with her. Girls can give numbers, but it doesn't necessarily mean it'll lead to anything. What you do is really a case-by-case kind of thing.

Rather, you should be focusing on general principles that can guide your actions in many situations, rather than look for specific things to do for specific situations. The idea is, it's not about saying or doing the "right" things. It's about being (or becoming) the type of person who naturally does the "right" things because they're naturally confident, flirty, value-giving, etc.

If you want a solid number, you need to create an emotional connection with her. It doesn't have to be a deep connection, but you want to be seen as a human being in her eyes, not just the random dude who asked for her number.

foomfoomfoom · 2015-05-17T21:33:58+00:00

Yes. Do something more than just talk her ear off. Try to break out of the "guy hitting on waitress" script. And when you ask, act like youve never asked her before.

Zack_Fair_ · 2015-05-17T20:55:50+00:00

yes, easily. tell her " fine, you lost your shot. " or something similar and simply move the conversation on. just keep talking to her and flirting and whatever else you were doing that was working.
then when sufficient time has passed, make an expression like you just realised something and say : " hey, why are you still standing here flirting with me if you didn't want to give me your number ?" your facial expression should be a smile like you're on to her just playing hard to get whilst she actually does want you. follow up : "All right come on, put your number in here and I'll [whatever] you sometime " and you give her your phone .

it's a trick salespeople use too to some degree. first you give any kind of regret about refusing your offer a window, then by pointing out she's still standing with you, a girl will be more inclined to also react positively to the next thing you say. like when a salesman asks something small first to get you saying yes before he actually proposes his sale.

nemesisrobot · 2015-05-18T07:20:16+00:00

Yes, by showing her that her refusal to give it doesn't bother you. But really, why go through that trouble? Move on to the next bro.

Andrian-TQM · 2015-05-18T12:04:05+00:00

This one seems counter-intuitive, but the reality about women’s attraction to a man is that it is not persistent. This means that a man can create it and destroy it. When a man initiates and pursues, she might not be attracted or interested to start out with. Because of this, she might reject him, even if ever so politely.

Once he accepts this rejection and brushes it off, however, he shows a lack of neediness. This lack of neediness, combined with the perceived “opportunity lost” phenomenon, will create an attraction in the woman that wasn’t there before. Most times, women will not act on this attraction. However, there’s been more than a few times that a woman would change their mind on me.

Title	If you ask a girl for her number, and she doesn't give it to you. Is there a way to follow up and increase your chances a second time?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	31
Comments	11
Date	May 17, 2015 8:06 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/36akhh/if_you_ask_a_girl_for_her_number_and_she_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/if-you-ask-a-girl-for-her-number-and-she-doesnt.1388269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1388269

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