Long post.

Wow. I am very bad at this. Very very bad at this. Last night I promised I would take out a friend and help him meet women. He is very very new to this where as I have been at it for 3 years. Lately my actual game has been very bad since I've been out of practice for about two years. Still, I understand the theory so I am perfectly able to coach him in that (which I have been doing).

On to the night.

We show up at the club and it is basically a shithole. I realized very quickly that we picked a bad venue. Bad music, small space. Oh well. I just decided to have fun anyway.

We grabbed a couple of beers while we waited for people to show up and then just went out and started dancing, which is something I'm pretty good at. It's not too long before I catch the eye of a couple of girls. I immediately go and start dancing with one of the girls while my friend works up the courage to eventually come up and open her friend. We dance for a bit before a couple of other girls and one guy show up to the set. We all dance for a bit, I shake everyone's hands, spin a few of the girls. In the meantime I see that my friend is starting to work some kino with a few of the girls, light body checks and the like. Eventually they go to the bar and get a few drinks. I decide to hang back thinking that I should just reopen the set later. Bad call. I know. Either way, I check in with my friend and he's really excited. He's having an amazing time. We just dance for a bit and open up a couple more sets. Nothing notable there. We eventually end up dancing with the same girls again until they decided to head up to the second level. I hesitated here and ended up going up later but didn't reopen this set as I thought it would look needy.

Later in the night I see this one girl trying to get away from this guy who's trying to convince her to kiss him. She got him to leave and as soon as he walked off I just stood beside her gestured towards him and leaned in saying "some guys, right?". She laughed said something back about her costume and we danced a bit (only hands with a couple of spins) before she went back to dancing with her friend. Not too long after that, I see her trying to get away this other huge guy who is just trying to muscle in on dancing with her. I walk up to her, take her by the hand and start dancing with her. The guy ends up leaving and she tells me that he's been chasing her on and off for a while. She ends up grinding against me and we keep dancing, this time I get my hands around her waist and she puts hers on my shoulders. She then says she's going for a drink and as she turns away to go to the bar she keeps holding my hand and squeezes it tightly twice before letting it go. It took way too long to register that I had a shot with this girl.... and that I just messed up again. Pretty soon after I see her friend introduce her to some guys at which point they all have some drinks and start dancing. I see her a couple of times later on in the night and she always says hi to me but she's being dragged around the club by her friend and this one guy so I get nowhere with that.

Seeing what I did, my friend looked around and saw a girl sitting alone on a couch. He immediately went over and asked her to dance. I can immediately see there's a connection. He introduces me to her and gets the three of us dancing together. I lean in to my friend's ear and tell him how he should escalate with this girl, holding hands, hands around the waist, etc... I then fade out of the set. As they're dancing I do my best to stay out of the way while still giving my friend a few quick pointers on how to keep things going. It's much easier to understand what to do when it's not happening to you. He spent the rest of the night with this girl.

What's more is later that night after leaving my friend with the girl, I met one of the girls who we danced with in the first set. She and I danced for a bit and she told me she has a boyfriend but that she wants me to dance with her friend. She then spends the next few minutes running around the club trying to find her friend so that she can get us to dance together. Eventually she finds her and it is one of the girls from the first set. The first thing she does is ask me where my friend is. She seems disappointed that he's not around. Clearly he made an impression. Good for him. Either way, I ask her to dance. She seems very shy and as I take her to the dance floor, she motions for her friends to come with us. The girl who brought her to me refuses as does another girl. They're both encouraging her to go with me. One girl that I spent a lot of time dancing with earlier comes with us though. I divide my attention between the two (bad move, I know) and before I know it this one drunk guy comes in and starts getting really touchy with the shy girl. She pushes him away and keeps turning her head away to try and get him out of her face but being a small weak and shy person she isn't very good at it. I go and introduce myself to the guy then take her by the hand and spin her so that I am now standing between her and the guy. He is obviously not happy but wanders off. A little later I'm talking to the other girl and see that he's come back. She's really pushing away from this guy and he's clearly not getting the hint. This time I just straight up walk up to him and say "dude. She's not interested." He responds with "I'm not asking you" To which I reply "No. But you're asking her and that's what she's telling you" At this point she breaks free grabs her friend and runs off to find her other friends. Feeling like I might have overstepped my bounds a bit and that the night is a bust for me, I left. It was really late anyway.

As for my friend and his girl, earlier I saw them exchange numbers and dance with his hands around her waist and hers around his neck. After seeing that, I left them completely to their own thing. This morning he sent me a text to tell me he got laid and to thank me, saying that he couldn't have done it without the courage and advice I gave him.

My friend did very well. I am very proud of him. To me, this night is an amazing success. I could not have asked for anything better to happen for him. I would not change this night in any way if it meant that he did not get this girl. In this way I feel like I have accomplished some amazing goal. Deep down though, I am still personally bothered by my own failings and lack of success. No numbers. No k closes. No f closes. I have been single for 2 months since moving to this city for grad school and in that time I kissed one girl and went on about 14 or so dates that went nowhere. I feel like I am stuck in a whirlpool of failure, going around and around failing every interaction. Each time I identify something I'm doing wrong, I correct it only to find another flaw in its place. What's worse is that every once in a while AA, hits me again and I need fight to get back out there approaching. It is very frustrating especially when even the people I am advising and taking out to different events (and he is not the only one) are having better success than I am. Still, I am very happy for them. They have not had the amazing experiences I've had and I am very excited to see what they can accomplish. I only wish I was accomplishing something as well.

Tldr; Went to a club and danced with a bunch of girls. I had some girls show some interest in me including one that tried to set me up with her friend but overall nothing went anywhere for me. I did help get my friend, who I've been coaching on meeting women, laid. I feel a mix of shame and pride. I'm very happy for him as this is the most I had hoped for him to accomplish tonight. Still, I can't help but be concerned about my constant failures in the last few months. And it's not for lack of trying.