How do you not be "nice"?

KJ_PHL · 2015-11-21T14:22:50+00:00

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy

TheBloodIsRed · 2015-11-21T19:08:00+00:00

There is nothing wrong with being nice. The problem comes when you aren't assertive and people can walk all over you.

Jacob_961 · 2015-11-21T14:55:05+00:00

First step. Don't be a push over. Be comfortable connecting with random strangers on a deep level. Be true to yourself.

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-11-21T17:56:07+00:00

Don't fall into the mistake of thinking "only bad guys get all the girls". The reason bad guys get girls is because they are confident. You can be just as charismatic and confident if you're nice. In fact it often works better. If you inherently are a 'bad guy', then rock it and be the coolest bad guy you can be. But if you are inherently a sweet soul, then rock that and be the coolest nice guy you can be - the reason is that girls KNOW if you're not being genuine. Be congruent.

shuritsen · 2015-11-21T16:35:32+00:00

Be sarcastic more often, don't take anyone seriously, and be cocky-funny.

doughbot · 2015-11-21T18:57:12+00:00

The problem isn't really being "nice," it's being a pushover or people-pleaser. I'm sure Justin Trudeau is a very nice guy, but he's not getting bent out of shape trying to please anyone (at least not in his personal life).

BitingInsects · 2015-11-21T17:13:27+00:00

Being nice means you're seeking value/validation from external sources. Build some self respect simply by setting goals and reaching them. Once you have self respect, the rest will follow suit.

allthegears · 2015-11-21T22:45:34+00:00

Why would you want to be less nice? If that's your goal then I urge you to get your priorities straight. The world is shitty enough and we don't need another asshole parading around the streets.

SimpleRy · 2015-11-21T23:39:17+00:00

What they mean is that the "nice guy" is going too far out of his way to flatter and cater to a girl that he's interested in, usually not treating others with that same kindness.

He presents no challenge and is simply trying to be nice to get attention.

There is nothing wrong with being a nice person, and girls admire that as much as anyone else. But you can't be begging for attention with it. That neediness is palpable and makes you seem desperate and less attractive.

A confident person with high self esteem can do nice things for people without needing or wanting anything in return. That sort of altruism is attractive romantically and platonically.

Tjodleik · 2015-11-22T05:35:15+00:00

Being nice is neither inherently good nor bad, it's the motives behind that makes all the difference.

Further, being "nice" has gotten such a bad rep in the seduction community because the stereotypical "nice" guy tend bend over backwards for whoever he's infatuated with, the logic that drives this behavior being that if he is just nice enough she will eventually drop all the assholes and have sex with him.

So the bottom line is that you don't necessarily have to stop being nice, but you should take a very close look at your reasons for being nice.

Macaframa · 2015-11-22T17:38:34+00:00

Within the bounds of reason, say what comes to your mind whether she likes it or not. If she doesn't like it, you aren't going to work out either way and it will only end in pain. If she sticks around, you don't get anxiety over trying to keep that shit inside of you for fear of her knowing. Do things that help YOU not her(all the time), I'm not saying don't be nice but don't bend over backwards for her if she's not willing to do it for you.

SexySmexxy · 2015-11-21T22:59:18+00:00

2 line post and you want us to basically rearrange your entire personality, good joke!

Title	How do you not be "nice"?
Author	Lingod
Upvotes	60
Comments	15
Date	November 21, 2015 2:11 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3tozfu/how_do_you_not_be_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-not-be-nice.1397949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1397949

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