Males of Seddit, why do you lose interest in a girl after she starts showing interest in you?

alterpersona · 2015-12-11T18:46:31+00:00

"She's playing games with me. Hot and cold. I can't be bothered. It woulda happened by now it was gonna happen."

Really, without further info it could be any number of things, but the above is what comes to mind. You blew your chance by acting disinterested and then not reciprocating enthusiastically enough when you did. To be blunt you should have fucked this dude already if you wanted to. Seddit regularly tell men to bail on situations like this because usually the girl is just leading him on and his energy is better spent elsewhere.

How to salvage it? A hail mary super bold move, where you either get outright rejected or end up in bed. Likely this particular situation is done for. Lesson: don't act too coy if you want it. Guys actually don't like a good chase if it drags on.

InFa-MoUs · 2015-12-11T18:53:29+00:00

Well for me personally I live by the "fuck yes" motto (which simply is don't do anything with anyone if you both don't have the hell fucking yes feeling) so by you not showing any interest initially tells me that you're really not that into me and by showing interest later also tells me you're kind of settling for me. And I'm too awsome to be settled for. Not saying that's what you're going thru but for me the feelings have to be mutual.

letsgetrandy · 2015-12-11T19:57:53+00:00

Could be any number of different things.

Maybe he's naturally flirty, and your flirty response made him somehow fearful that you've misinterpreted his "fun personality" as an advance, so now he's backing off so he won't encourage something that isn't intended.

Or, maybe he wasn't seeing anyone when he started flirting with you, but by the time you stopped being cold to him he already found someone else who doesn't play your games.

Or, maybe he's a virgin, and lacks the confidence to continue this game to its next level, so it was a big deal for him coming out of his shell to flirt, but now that you've responded he's scared, doesn't know how to proceed, and has gone back into his shell.

Or... maybe someone in his family just went into the hospital and he's not really feeling flirty right now.

Or.... I don't know.... maybe it's not all about you. Maybe there are other things in this world, and you're just too self-centered to see that his actions aren't always just a response to yours?

Or, how about this one? Maybe he tried and tried to get your attention, and now that he finally got it, maybe he'd like to see if you are willing to try equally as hard for his attention... like maybe he'd like to not be the one in the constant state of pursuit, where you have all the cards and all the power. Maybe he'd like to see that he could be treated as an equal if you decided to make more of it.

I don't know. Could be anything.

skyburnsred · 2015-12-11T18:43:54+00:00

Because then the game has been won and it's boring because the conclusion is already known.

2015-12-11T22:39:55+00:00

Excessively Christian girls.

Consecutu · 2015-12-11T18:38:50+00:00

I'm not like that at all D:

2015-12-13T23:46:13+00:00

Sounds like women to me :P

tails2tails · 2015-12-15T23:58:03+00:00

I like the chase.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-11T20:36:24+00:00

I dont think it really works like that. At least I don't think it's ever really been like that with me. I guess some guys might get past wanting the girl after he's bedded he - but you know that's not everybody.

I think different factors affect this situation. Maybe she is a bit cold, they get to know each other a bit, he finds some characteristics he didn't like and then when she started flirting back he was already kinda turned off to being with her.

Or, perhaps while he was flirting with her he was also pursuing other girls and by the time she got back to him and started giving him some reciprocation he was already banging 3 other girls.

There is context in situations like this that isn't really defined in the question. It could be one of 102382334r523897532498752345 things.

Are you a girl to whom this happened? I don't know where the question comes from exactly. I'd advise the girl not to take it personally - it is what it is.

AttractandSeduce · 2015-12-11T23:38:57+00:00

What usually happens is that the guy or girl will stop losing interest in the other person because the other person is showing too much interest.

He or she kills all the mystery and romanitc/sexual tension.

We as humans usually value that which we worked hard to get. The things that come easy to us, are often not valued as much. Usually not until we loose them.

cobue · 2015-12-11T22:26:33+00:00

It has happened to me a lot of times. I like to conquer a girl, and the feeling before getting her. As soon as i have her, interest is gone. I have thought about it a lot of times, as it really makes no sense. But i have noticed that the way girls act when they are in love with you but you not with them is just.. bahh! They say yes to everything, they do whatever you want, etc You have them, game is won, move on.

Spacemage · 2015-12-12T10:56:04+00:00

I've stopped talking to girls before who reciprocated interest because they're just not interesting enough. Or they're weird or ended up being gross. Being over baring, or clingy. Showing signs of bad manners or being dumb.

Basically if someone sucks after I get to know them, I'll stop talking to them. If you're interested in me, that's only my business while I'm in the market for it. "Be a better person" ; you're aware of what you're lacking. Fix it. Other people know it too.

Title	Males of Seddit, why do you lose interest in a girl after she starts showing interest in you?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	19
Date	December 11, 2015 6:33 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3weqe0/males_of_seddit_why_do_you_lose_interest_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/males-of-seddit-why-do-you-lose-interest-in-a-girl.1398956 https://theredarchive.com/post/1398956

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