How to handle interested girls that are in toxic relationships?

eomede07 · 2015-12-24T09:12:36+00:00

You are not a superhero. There is no need for you to be involved with such women. It won't be good for you as that toxicity might spread to your relationship with that woman.

tantricengineer · 2015-12-24T07:06:14+00:00

just be there

This is your problem. Don't wait, just do what you want. If she doesn't know what "healthy relationship means", give your your version of healthy. Lead the interaction on your terms, and manage it accordingly. If she doesn't want that, move on.

People are willing to purge toxic behavior just to keep hanging out with someone they find really attractive, even if they know they aren't getting a relationship out of it. Leading by example is a powerful thing.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2015-12-24T08:52:35+00:00

I dont think it matters even slightly. It's not your responsibility at all to deal with anyone elses relationship. Fuck them or no, their relationship doesn't have anything to do with you. For instance you say doucebags and crazy guys, but do you really know them? Or are you projecting?

If some girl is trying to jump your bone do you reckon she'll tell you beforehand what a sweet wonderful person her BF is? or that he's an asshole.

GangBangStyle100 · 2015-12-24T08:26:38+00:00

If she was that interested, she would step out of the toxic relationship and pursue something real with you.

Maybe her interest is just a means of maintaining whatever you are providing to her, because it clearly isn't the same thing that the toxic douche bag is providing her. She's only with him because she wants to be. Make your intentions clear, if she doesn't want to accept the offer then move on.... "Being there" is like the worst thing you can do.

Turlast · 2015-12-24T07:14:54+00:00

Could you describe the "mixed success" part?

recyclablebantha · 2015-12-25T09:33:23+00:00

Seen a lot of girls in toxic relationships with douchebags and crazy guys that are interested in me.

When you know a girl is interested in you, but is in a toxic relationship, what's the best way to handle this?

Look, I'm going to be blunt. If she's in a relationship, then she's NOT really interested in you. Here are the facts:

While she's in a toxic relationship, unless she has made up her mind to break up with the guy NOW and/or is actually doing it NOW, her emotions are invested in that guy. Which means she literally isn't free to invest in you.
She's attracted to you because you represent something she wants/needs but isn't getting from her toxic relationship. But really it's not about the totality of who you are, just that one aspect or thing she has a deficiency of in the relationship she is STILL in.

So even if she were to break up with the guy tomorrow and be free for you, she might be good for a fling, but she'd soon realize that something isn't working for her. Basically if she's going for you while she's in a toxic relationship, her state of mind is most likely suspect when it comes to being aware of her own attractions.

Tried the usual be friends, then just be there, and escalate when I feel I can. Mixed success...

Yeah, don't waste your time waiting around for girls. If they aren't available NOW, then they aren't really worth extra consideration. Unless they're cool enough to be friends with.

2015-12-24T13:03:59+00:00

Are you serious? You sound so sleezy.

Von_Meowstien · 2015-12-24T12:36:02+00:00

If she wants to be with you she most likely would already, especially if you are so much better than her BF. Women have options, lots of them and tend not to beat around the bush with such things. It sounds like she may be mulling over a few other men in the process of finding a new SO or just a push to get out of her current relationship without jumping into another one.

letsgetrandy · 2015-12-24T18:53:10+00:00

You're the classic Nice Guy™.

Stop it.

You're every weak character from every John Hughes film... hovering around the girl but never letting her know you're interested... acting like a shoulder while she complains about her man... whining to your friends about why girls love assholes while they shit on the nice guys...

You're basically a girl. No, actually, you're much worse, because no girl would stoop so low.

First, if someone is in a relationship, whether good or toxic, she's off the market. Only pros can pull girls who are taken, and we only do it for one night, not hoping to swoop in and replace her bad companion.

Second, you need to man the fuck up. Stop being a shoulder. If you let girls complain to you, they will. And then you'll be that guy. The one who is a sponge for her tears. Don't be the sponge... you're getting nothing and giving everything.

Third, go find some single girls you fucking twat! Why the fuck are you even wasting your time on girls who are already in relationships? (See point 1 above)

As to your question...

When you know a girl is interested in you, but is in a toxic relationship, what's the best way to handle this?

You simply tell her, "don't complain to me. you have a problem and you know what it is, so either deal with it or accept it. but whining to me doesn't solve your problem, it just makes me hate you."

Title	How to handle interested girls that are in toxic relationships?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	18
Date	December 24, 2015 6:39 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3y22qz/how_to_handle_interested_girls_that_are_in_toxic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-handle-interested-girls-that-are-in-toxic.1399600 https://theredarchive.com/post/1399600

Comments