How do you stop yourself from catching feelings

revente · 2016-04-27T09:49:51+00:00

Just date more girls at the same time.

CypherWolf21 · 2016-04-27T13:05:29+00:00

Antibacterial soap

SpamFilterHatesMe · 2016-04-27T14:07:22+00:00

You're coming from scarcity oriented mindset, when you experience that there's an abundance of women, and you can build with every single one of them some cool story, the feelings tone down and you become more controlled.

You don't have to have success with every one of them, and it's actually unrealistic for everyone to like you. Like the Manson stated, you can't be a life changing presence for one women if you're not a cringy fool for another one, so you can't really expect for everyone to like you if you put yourself out there. And you got to put yourself out there and lead. Take space.

Just talk to them. Talk to everyone, and try to have fun. In time it will change, you won't even notice when.

Edit: One more thing, until all this happens, when you catch yourself that you're "catching" feeling, don't fight it... embrace it. Think of the way how you could have fun with this.
If you fight it, and try to suppress it, you're only going to make it worse. It's gonna manifest somehow either way. Because you can't really suppress your emotions. There's nothing more creepy when you're sensing, or when a girl is sensing that someone she's talking to has some hiden agenda and yet it reacts like it's nothing. Thoughts, intentions and actions are not aligned and something feels off. Girls are especially good at sensing that. Ultimately, there's no really a reason for you to hide it. You want the girl to know that you want to fuck her and all. Not by telling her directly (or you could, if that's your game and if you're congurent with yourself), but by subcommunication, on a deeper layer, by showing her.
So when you catch yourself that you're catching feelings, good. That means you're not a fucking sociopath but human. Make fun of the whole situation, make the girl purposefully aware of what's happening, amplify it to the 11, or use push and pull like "holly shit, I'm starting to like you too much, I'm gonna throw you off the fucking bridge!" with biggest grim. Play with it.

CrushHazard · 2016-04-27T15:11:04+00:00

You kind of mention three different concepts here, in my opinion:

Catching feelings - this is generally used to describe what happens in a fuck-buddy or friends-with-benefits type relationship when there is an initial understanding that it will be purely sexual and not emotional, and one person ends up getting emotionally invested.
getting invested way too fast - this term is generally used in the dating stage to describe a guy who starts making assumptions and being a bit pushy at a point when the woman would see it as too soon. A classic example would be saying something like this on the second date: "I have a wedding in August. You wanna come? By the way, it's in Hawaii."
"as soon as they show me any sort of interest I start unconsciously calculating every sentence I say to make sure they like it" - this is what I would call just getting in your own head. We all do it from time to time. You have a natural flow and then you start worrying and your flow goes to shit. The real problem here is the worrying aspect. Worrying is just a bad mental habit. The way to get rid of it is to be aware of your thoughts and when you start worrying, just back up and make yourself think something else. Worrying never solved any problems for anyone. Worrying is by nature inactive. You do want to be aware of what you are saying but in a proactive way. So if you find yourself thinking, "oh, shit...is _______ happening? Crap, I've put in so much work already." Modify your thought pattern to be something more like, "hmmmm....________ may have come off a bit too ___. I can fix that by doing ______." When you are being proactive, there is nothing to worry about. Things may work out, and they may not, but at least you are honing your skills. Eventually you will turn the corner and start feeling good about your results.

qwfwfq · 2016-04-27T13:38:52+00:00

I get like this too. What I've been trying to do is focus on what I'm doing in life that makes me happy about me. If i get caught up thinking about it i try and take my thoughts else where. Put that energy to good use. Its okay to have a strong affinity for somone - just dont miss out on the big picture. Also , like someone else said, dating others sounds like it could help.

Watch-My-Six · 2016-04-27T19:58:22+00:00

I used to have a similar issue, but I lived in a small town with not that many interesting girls. Similarly to what is said here, though not exactly the same, what has taught me to not thing of every semi-bangable chick as some kinda special snowflake is seeing so many of those "relationships" run their course.

It was something that came with time as opposed to many girls at once, but basically it's just having experienced a fair amount of girls through the series of events leading to dissolution of the relationship, i.e. Meet cute girl, get number, hang out and bs with each other, first kiss, bang her a few times or for awhile, get bored/sick of their shit, grow apart, don't talk to them anymore.

I guess i would equate it to your first shot of liquor. At first the anticipation kills ya, so many expectations/excitement. Once you've done a few it seems less special, and after awhile it becomes routine. You get up, you come down, and you prepare yourself for the next party.

I used to meet a cool chick and think, "wow, how special! This could really lead to something meaningful!", but now I just look at it as "OK, I have specific parameters for somebody I'm interested in having within my personal space, and this girl happens to meet them. Let's see where it goes, no pressure on anyone."

Now I move forward with the knowledge and expectation that nothing lasts forever, and so, like holding a cup of water, I loosely support the relationship in the palm of my hand as opposed to trying to grip as tightly as I can onto someone's affection- that's only gonna make it explode.

With the advantage of experience I now enjoy an emotional distance which gives me greater freedom to "enjoy the moment" as opposed to trying to capture someone emotionally.

Dunno if this answers your question- I'm no game scientist or anything, just sharing a similar experience. Just play the numbers man, it can't do anything but help you.

ResistingTemptation · 2016-04-27T22:41:41+00:00

Abundance mentality and reality. Have options and date around.

The1InCharge · 2016-04-28T05:10:18+00:00

If you say to yourself that you don't want any relationships at all for a fixed length of time (say, three months) and only concentrate on getting comfortable talking to girls and being around them, that should help - you'll stop overthinking and second guessing yourself!

DaygameCoach · 2016-04-27T12:18:11+00:00

You make it sound like an STD. And, no, the Red Pill is not the answer. LOL.

reddiot666 · 2016-04-27T10:11:08+00:00

On the opposite end if you don't chat enough she'll probably forget who you are after a week. Go to a strip club a few times after they beg you for money you'll hate all women.

Title	How do you stop yourself from catching feelings
Author	Sedhel
Upvotes	32
Comments	18
Date	April 27, 2016 7:51 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4gnh7f/how_do_you_stop_yourself_from_catching_feelings/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-stop-yourself-from-catching-feelings.1405987 https://theredarchive.com/post/1405987

Comments