Don't know how to deal with the shame of being blue pill

R_E_D_1 · 2014-08-01T22:21:54+00:00

Dude. This will take time. Take each piece of your development one step at a time and you better-fucking-damn-well reward yourself whenever you do something right because you need to reinforce your lessons since you probably don't have anyone to help you on this journey.

I remember a quote I heard somewhere long ago: When God wants a squash, he takes a few months. But when He wants an oak tree, he takes a hundred years. Give this process the time it needs, bro.

redpillshadow · 2014-08-01T22:19:03+00:00

I'm spending a ton of money to see a therapist to work on this, but I even feel ashamed opening up and telling her things like

Any particular reason why you think it is a good idea to talk to a female therapist about mommy issues?

retsage · 2014-08-01T21:54:14+00:00

It's a long slog, I'd wager. Is your therapist doing CBT with you?

2014-08-01T22:36:46+00:00

[permanently deleted]

vandaalen · 2014-08-01T22:56:35+00:00

Don't feel ashamed. We've all got our issues. We wouldn't need this place else. I am in a therapy myself although I am my own therapist. I've got no mommy issues, but daddy issues. He shattered my self-esteem and made me become what I have been. Somebody too afraid to speak up and in desperate and endless search for validation.

I struggled with severe depression because I wouldn't allow me to be myself. I used to medicate myself with heavy alcohol abuse. I still am far from where I want to be.

I know the frustration when feeling like I am standing still and don't progress in my developement and self-improvement.

And yet somebody whose opinion I value high, and who is in many ways a blueprint of what I want to become, just recently told me that he admires me for the progress I've made in the last year and for the will I have shown. That I shouldn't feel frustrated but take it more easy and enjoy the benefits and the good feeling of success.

I've inspired two other men to get their asses up and start improving themselves just with my progress. 1,5 years ago people would refuse to sit next to me on the bus and now I am a role model. I would have never ever thought of it in the preceding 36 years of my life.

Maybe if you look into yourself you will also find that you took over the steering wheel and changed things to the better in the past.

Just keep on track and things will gradualy get better. Promise. This won't happen over night. But it will happen.

Although you are already seeing a therapist maybe No More Mr. Nice Guy could be a little help on top. Pressumed that you haven't already read it.

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf

machimus · 2014-08-02T00:41:11+00:00

It IS okay to be blue pill. The important thing is you know yourself well enough to recognize your own weaknesses. You can work on improving them at your own pace.

We don't go from beta to alpha overnight. It is a dramatic shift in perspective, and it takes time. As to your therapist, they are professional listeners and you are paying her to help you sort some things out. You should not be ashamed of digging into your issues, and I guarantee she has heard way more fucked up problems than yours.

lloopy · 2014-08-02T00:42:36+00:00

The mouse doesn't feel shame when it can't find the cheese, or always takes the wrong way. When it finds the best path, it sticks with it.

When you're doubting yourself, go to the gym and lift. Don't dwell on the doubt. That will only make it worse. If you're telling yourself to man up outside of your comfort zone, it's not going to go well. Just get yourself to a place where you can comfortably handle situations that used to make you break frame.

lift

OneTouchHowMuch · 2014-08-01T21:30:41+00:00

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kempff · 2014-08-01T23:08:00+00:00

I have mommy issues also, but my story is a little different: my mother smothered me, but I also suffer from many of the symptoms you list in your post including psychocyanosis because my emotional needs went unmet in childhood because my mother was using me as a salve upon her ever-breaking heart.

I am currently reading http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/, one of the books in the redpill canon, and /u/verus_mas, it reads like a chillingly incisive and deadly accurate unauthorized biography of me, and it is helping me get over my tendency to be a doormat.

Yes, it's OK to be bluepill. Tolerate your bluepill tendencies for the time being. As you learn more redpill stuff you will come to be disgusted by your bluepill tendencies enough that you will be automatically self-motivated to eliminate them one by one.

And the process will be pleasant and nearly effortless, because you will be merely cooperating with a normal, natural resumption of an interior development that was arrested by your mother's abuse.

EDIT: Stop by the chatroom.

Ojisan1 · 2014-08-02T02:29:59+00:00

Find a male psychotherapist. Seriously. And even with a male therapist, you're going to have to shop around for one who isn't a blue-piller anyway.

You want help but if you're not being honest with your therapist, you're not going to get help. With the issues you're describing, the issues themselves are going to interfere with the therapeutic relationship, with a female therapist. There are good male therapists who deal with early childhood trauma and attachment issues. That's a bullshit reason to stick with a therapist who, through no fault of her own, is probably bringing up feelings that are preventing you from fully engaging in therapy - just by being a woman herself.

My 2 cents, GTFO of there and find a man who can help with these issues without triggering them simultaneously.

Edit: a word

BluepillProfessor · 2014-08-02T04:53:35+00:00

Is it okay to be blue pill?

No.

Am I being too hard on myself in telling myself to "man up?"

No

However, being "Red Pill" aware is different than being the top shelf Alpha. You are already Red Pill so it is too late. I have seen people spit up the Red Pill and go into full denial but I don't think that is you with these incisive questions.

So lets rephrase your question in a way that makes it more obvious:

Is it OK to work on becoming more Alpha and increasing my attraction to women slowly while I work on myself to get past prior trauma?

BluepillProfessor · 2014-08-02T05:03:23+00:00

Read the other comments...

You are obsessing about the things your mother did to you many years ago. There is a 7-year statute of limitations on parental neglect so if I were a judge I would order you to stop thinking about anything that happened with your mother more than 7 years ago. If only it were that easy!

I have to say, however, the past is the past. You have the tools from CBT to STOP these irrational thoughts and it is absolutely critical that you do so as soon as possible. If you do, you can build a life that is not focused on bad thoughts. If not, then you know the result. The universal law of attraction determines everything. I once thought it was just metaphysical bullcrap but it is true. You CREATE your own reality. Do you really want your abusive mother to be any part of that realty?

yeahweewee · 2014-08-02T06:25:13+00:00

First might be helpful to go to a men's support group or a mens psychologist

its difficult for a women to help when a man being a abused and powerless is so fundamentally different from when it happens to a women. Not to mention the shame of talking to the psychologist could be coming from the fact she is a women

can you a imagine a girl going to a man pysch after being abused by a man

Counter423 · 2014-08-01T23:38:02+00:00

Sounds like you need professional help.

No don't fucking skim over this comment.

GO GET HELP BRO.

TheJohnDough · 2014-08-01T22:47:58+00:00

Stop being a bitch and making excuses. Women make excuses, you are a fucking MAN. It must be hard for you but if thats the only thing in the way of your success just overcome it. You spend way to much time thinking about that, think of other things like how awesome your life would be if you did X activity and start doing that. You are hamstering right now, break the loop bro, you are the only person capable of doing and no one will do it for you. Remember nobody truly gives 3 shits about you its up to you to take care of yourself and help yourself.

Title	Don't know how to deal with the shame of being blue pill
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	34
Date	August 1, 2014 9:22 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2cde29/dont_know_how_to_deal_with_the_shame_of_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dont-know-how-to-deal-with-the-shame-of-being-blue.141103 https://theredarchive.com/post/141103

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