I loved a girl, she rejected me, I cut off contact. 4 years later, mutual friend wants us to give it a go at a relationship.

lonGterMgoalS · 2014-08-10T13:10:00+00:00

I think that she's probably trying to find a beta now that she's been burned by alphas.

You are 100% correct.

Don't meet up. That "closure" line is bullshit. It doesn't even make sense. I'm sure a woman made that up as an excuse to drag some guy into a useless conversation about feelings.

You already closed the door with her, don't reopen it. With her or her friends.

NotReallyEthicalLOL · 2014-08-10T13:50:48+00:00

Didn't even read your post. The answer is no.

Kalepsis · 2014-08-10T13:56:32+00:00

DaFuq? "Closure"? What the fuck does "closure" have to do with trying to get back with someone she thinks is a safe bux bank after riding the carousel with real men who've realized she's a golddigger? The only closure she wants is to close that cage around your wallet with a fucking wedding ring.

If I was a hateful man, I'd tell you to revenge-fuck her and never call her again. But it's probably best to just leave her alone.

Unless she has a successful career at which she makes twice as much as you. In that case, use her for bux while giving her the alpha she needs. A little role-reversal never hurt any true alpha.

elysius · 2014-08-10T14:12:17+00:00

If you were Dark Triad you could have lots of fun with this girl. But you're not, so stay away.

And it's super creepy that this "friend" is trying to get you guys together for "closure." Never even saw a straight man use that word before.

johnnight · 2014-08-10T15:10:14+00:00

Use the situation for what you can. Under no circumstances should you allow her to put you on the beta path ("let's wait before sex, I am a good girl, take me to dates, LJBF, bla bla bla").

Your situation sounds like this one: http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/10/good-girls-do/

She appologized profusely to him and held out (once again) the olive branch of a LJBF rejection. He asked me what he should say, and it was at this point he took the initiative to tell her “no, we can’t ‘just be friends’.” He did what I advised him to and he walked away from a woman for the first time in his life. This is when all hell broke loose for her. She’d never been met with this response before and all the cards went straight into Ray’s hands. She would consistently ‘bump into him’ at bars or events to “have another talk”, she did a complete 180 in her attitude with him all in an effort to “be his friend.”

Others say closure is bullshit. Not, it is not. It depends on the situation. Let's compare it to a person missing for years. You want to find that dead body and do an autopsy to know what/who killed it. You got rejected romantically and she got rejected amicably(?) and so she is looking for her closure. It bothers her, it bruised her ego and that is the reason why she wants to meet.

You were NOT her first romantic choice, that is for sure. So it certainly is not love, because love does not work on this kind of path "I rejected him, because he did not arouse me, but when he did not want to be my friend, now suddenly I am inexplicably in love with him for the last 4 years".

Adolf_ghandi · 2014-08-10T17:43:21+00:00

It is wall time for her isn't it?

Vaginal_irrigator · 2014-08-10T13:12:29+00:00

I think that she's probably trying to find a beta now that she's been burned by alphas.

Didn't you get rejected by her?

[deleted] · 2014-08-10T15:34:14+00:00

Replace "should I give it a chance" with "Do I want to be her backup plan?"

TheJasminDragon · 2014-08-10T13:48:24+00:00

Just make her a plate, or 'date her' until you pork her. Don't get attached. She is looking for a Beta.

dreamingawake09 · 2014-08-10T17:54:11+00:00

50/50 here, you can either ignore the request, and go on with your life, or you can make her a plate. Those are your best options here. DON'T I REPEAT DON'T, date this woman.

The_Floating_Dick · 2014-08-10T14:38:15+00:00

"Closure" is what your hamster uses as a disguise for leftover feelings.

"Nah man, I'm totally over her! I've already fucked tons of waay hotter chicks. I just wanna pump-and-dump this bitch for all the time I sunk in her".

But your brain doesn't work that way. There's a chance that dopamine rush you had with her back in the days will come back and imperceptibly make you her infatuated beta bitch again. Be smarter than your hamster and take no chances.

[deleted] · 2014-08-11T02:28:30+00:00

You have two options;

1) Ignore. (Best option IMO).

2) Try to bang.
Only try this if your frame is TIGHT and she is > HB7. Be honest with yourself, will you catch feelings? If yes, stay the fuck away. It's far too easy to slip up and become her BB since you've had history.

[deleted] · 2014-08-11T08:51:56+00:00

Do not re-establish contact with her

[deleted] · 2014-08-10T14:31:43+00:00

he's begun telling me about how the girl was really sad when I cut her off. How she dated other men and got burned. And how she's learnt and matured from those experience; and is now asking about me when they meet up.

so the bitch is basically a megaphone.

I told him I'll agree to it but only on the condition that it's a whole group gathering of our mutual friends.

Stop being a bitch, bitch, meet up, get drunk, fuck her to get the rejection out of your system and then have a post fuck "date" to see if you like her.

I am considering to close her for my own closure, but even so, I'm not sure if I want that.

Don't go for it only if you think you can't maintain frame. I feel like you can't considering how you let the bitch's megaphone convince you to give her a chance.

now that she's been burned by alphas.

at least you know she is easy, and she is already interested, it should be a slam dunk

Strangeclouds420 · 2014-08-10T15:57:03+00:00

In my honest opinion, if it were me, I'd meet her up. Several times over the past two years (post-red pill, post value-raised) I have gotten the chance to meet women who rejected me as lovers and put me in the friendzone. But you wanna know what happened when I met up with them. Same night fucks. My new frame allowed it to happen not only because I was sexually more aggressive but also because I looked better due to being a bit older and muscular due to lifting. Of course they all thought it would start where we left off, with me wanting to be with them so they possibly thought fucking me might be the spark to get things going. Afterwards, I talked to them and hungout on my time. Roles reversed and instead of me being friendzoned they had been fuck-only zoned, mainly due to them not meeting the new standards I had in place for potential LTRs.

So what I'm saying here is give it a shot with meeting her in a group setting, preferably in a place with alcohol, other anonymous hot women and see what happens. Put your value on showcase by showing other women attention. Don't bring up the past failure of you not getting her and start anew with her, with you acting as the prize this time (read: not douchebag). If u can, fuck her that night (or blowjob, both work) and that'll be how you close on your terms and how you gain a little extra confidence and self-respect for the future.

Warning: if your frame is not strong, or your mind is not clear of the emotional hold she has on you, then DO NOT go through with meeting her. She'll sense it like a bloodhound and will reel you in with promises of hangouts or whatever pastimes you all engaged in.

[deleted] · 2014-08-10T14:37:10+00:00

how the girl was really sad when I cut her off.

This is always funny. "I don't want you but I still expected you to hang around me and continue giving me validation"

Go hang out. You're not obligated to do anything with or for her. If anything she could become a plate.

awesomesalsa · 2014-08-10T17:51:26+00:00

pump n dump

Dreamtrain · 2014-08-10T19:28:21+00:00

I'm all for the advice over here saying no. But should you, for some dumb reason or whatever, find yourself in the same room as her and she is trying to initiate something, despite that you have shown her that you don't want contact, be perfectly clear you don't want a friendship, nor even a relationship, flat out tell her you only want sex, if she goes all "gross" ignore and be rest assured she won't bother you again, if she strings back along, be mad physical, push your boundaries, if she goes away good, she won't bother you again, if she accepts them, hit it and quit it and give your former self a pat on the pack.

[deleted] · 2014-08-10T20:34:53+00:00

There's no such thing as "closure" from a conversation. "Closure" is something you get when enough time has passed after leaving. This is a trick. You'll be better off avoiding this entirely.

[deleted] · 2014-08-10T21:11:51+00:00

Bang 'dat ho!

[deleted] · 2014-08-11T12:15:52+00:00

A few of you guys mentioned about meeting her if I can maintain frame? I doubt it. I'm still too inexperienced.

Sure, my mindset is pretty clear that I don't want friendship and I know I won't contract oneitis anymore.

And I can present a calm and cordial demeanor, but I will probably not be able to identify and respond properly to her attempts at reframing.

WingsnLV · 2014-08-10T15:02:01+00:00

This post creeped me out. Your fixation on this girl is unhealthy.

Title	I loved a girl, she rejected me, I cut off contact. 4 years later, mutual friend wants us to give it a go at a relationship.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	27
Comments	44
Date	August 10, 2014 11:54 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2d53tg/i_loved_a_girl_she_rejected_me_i_cut_off_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-loved-a-girl-she-rejected-me-i-cut-off-contact-4.141266 https://theredarchive.com/post/141266

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