21M still a virgin. Tried everything, please help guys.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-09-20T20:35:20+00:00

Are you trying to just lose it or do you want a girlfriend?

Woujo · 2016-09-20T22:08:17+00:00

You need to find somebody, preferably a trusted friend, preferably female, that will give you an honest assessment of your appearance, your demeanor, etc... We can't tell you over the internet. It could be a variety of things and we can't tell unless we see you.

adavila1870 · 2016-09-21T04:56:45+00:00

Social anxiety is your problem my friend fortunately I kind of grew out of it at your age. I can't really see your picture to give you pointers but I read you're a handsome fella. If you are than maybe working a bit on your appearance and nightclubs can be your way to go.

In a night club you don't really have to talk (you mostly can't). If you're feeling insecure about your appearance, just remember theres barley any light in those places and almost everyone is either tipsy or drunk. I have literally walk behind a girl and start dancing with her (grinding) and sometimes they don't mind, (if they do, you won't get into too much trouble they'll just tell you no thank you) After a bit of dancing maybe you're anxiety will go away.

Have you been hitting the gym? Let me tell you, the gym helped me big time with my anxiety problems. How about your clothing? Try that your clothing matches the type of girl you're trying to hit on.

Have you try therapy? I've been going to a therapist lately and we talked about this issue and he asked me why I didn't get help. I think talking to a professional can really help you out.

You're already going out of your comfort zone by taking to girls at a night club and on tinder. Back when I had this problem I couldn't even look a girl in the eye, when I saw them walking towards me I would just walk to the other side of the street so you're on your way on getting out of it.

If you're going alone to night clubs and the girl asks you where are your friends, don't say you came alone. Tell them you got into a discussion with them because you wanted to stay or something on those lines (you lost them).

Escorts? Try that being your last choice. When I was 16 my dad got me "that present" and it wasn't pretty. It's also hard when your first SO asks you about your first time and you have that as your first.

Tinder? I don't fucking know. I have no idea how to talk to girls via texts (check my posts on that subreddit and on OKC) I have only gotten 2 hook ups out of. 100s of girls I have match with over the years.

Don't give up, you're already getting out of your comfort zone and that's something.

Source: went through social anxiety from 17 until 21. Wouldn't come out of my computer for entire weeks.

Sorry for bad English feel free to correct grammar/ spelling.

BehrGris · 2016-09-21T05:06:13+00:00

Not sure if I'd recommend losing your virginity to a hooker, but as someone who uses hookers regularly they're definitely a good choice for quick sex.

Getting women when you aren't a natural is a process. Trust me. Watch videos and practice. If you find you can't get any girls interested in a conversation with you and hundreds of girls are disgusted, then something is wrong with you. Find out what that something is and fix it. There is no magic pill advice I can tell you to get a woman attracted to you.

However, if you'd like some short action steps to take in order to get laid:

Stop jacking off and watching porn for 1 week (just try it)
Focus on the process: approach, get rejected, get a number, get flaked, send texts, get ignored, get good responses, get bad responses, learn to be cool and calm, step out of your comfort zone, take more risks, fix your appearance - do not get hung up on a result, if another 100th girl says "yes" again.

It's a mentally tough journey, learn to navigate it and don't whine.

I_like_rick_n_morty · 2016-09-20T21:00:44+00:00

I think it is causing you anxiety, however I would not recommend an escort, as they can be addictive, and to a person in your shoes (inexperienced sexually) you can cross some wires with intimacy and money which will lead to complicated social interactions later.

Have you tried less "hook up" centered venues? Maybe a kickball league or something similar at your school?
Also look at your own physique critically. Hook up venues (night clubs, tinder) are going to place a lot of pressure on how you look and how OTHER dudes look compared to you.

PersDev · 2016-09-20T21:33:35+00:00

You have to go out and continue to meet girls. Approaching a lot, and analyzing your approach after. If you see that you are always rejected, maybe try another kind of approach. Experiment, analyze and learn from your mistakes. It's only in this way you're gonna improve on the long run.

I_like_rick_n_morty · 2016-09-21T00:28:28+00:00

Might be how you are approaching. Try and be outcome independent a bit and go with the flow. Might be sabotaging yourself

AudiblePlasma · 2016-09-21T02:45:47+00:00

Looking at your other posts you seem extremely desperate for sex. Girls can probably sense this, keep doing what you do but without the need for sex on your mind. Like what the other guy said, be outcome independent.

Shaney96 · 2016-09-21T20:27:23+00:00

Work on yourself. I'm unaware of your appearance, demeanor etc, so it could be helpful to find a friend - whom you trust - to give you an honest assessment of yourself. If you feel you do not like who you are, then the best thing you can do is to work on yourself, then you will begin noticing others becoming slowly attracted towards you. That doesn't mean you don't have to work for what you want, as that is never the case.

Gustav_Sirvah · 2016-09-21T21:15:59+00:00

I'm 28 and I'm virgin too... :|

chron1k · 2016-09-21T00:41:02+00:00

Don't go to a hooker for your first time man.

captaintrombone · 2016-09-21T17:48:10+00:00

I had a lot of social anxiety. I thought I was a bad looking guy. I lost mine at 21. I have since been with over 60 women and I am 29. At a certain point I realized sleeping with a lot of women was just searching for validation. To be honest, Id rather have a girlfriend. It's not weird to loose it later. Just believe in yourself.

flying-columns · 2016-09-20T21:05:03+00:00

Go away.

Title	21M still a virgin. Tried everything, please help guys.
Author	MeMrPenetration
Upvotes	7
Comments	30
Date	September 20, 2016 8:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/53pcyq/21m_still_a_virgin_tried_everything_please_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21m-still-a-virgin-tried-everything-please-help.1412738 https://theredarchive.com/post/1412738

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