How to be alpha and introvert?

Dick-Tracy · 2014-08-22T20:48:31+00:00

First of all, you need to reject the false dichotomy the world has provided you with by dividing people into two camps of introvert and extrovert. It's a continuum, and you're somewhere on the intro- side of it, sure, but what does that mean?

People speak of "social energy" and how going out uses it up - faster in introverts who have maybe an hour or two of "faking extroversion" or less, and slower in those extroverts who seem to thrive and gain more energy as it goes.

I believe this is something that can be trained. From my own personal experience as a man that started very beta and introverted, but worked his way up to being the opposite, I know it can be done.

Before you can do this, though, you need to learn to reject the label. You are not "an introvert". You are someone with low social energy for a variety of reasons, and like muscles, you can exercise them and get the ball rolling for change.

For me, what really got the change started was working retail sales when I was in university. Having to talk to 50-100 people a day I hadn't met before, build rapport, and convince them to give me thousands of dollars for stuff was a hell of an education. I wasn't prepared for it at all, but it worked nonetheless. This is the equivalent of going from a fat guy to a trim, muscular guy in four years simply through working out furiously five days a week, but for social strength.

Of course, that's a rather unique sort of opportunity, as it's not like I could go do that now - doesn't pay enough, for starters. But there are similar experiences available.

Clubs (the membership kind, not dancing) and social events and functions for organizations you're interested in are all great places to meet people you don't necessarily have to ever seen again - but could, if you wanted to. So you get out there and talk to them and overcome your fear using the knowledge that you'll never really have to face them again if you mess up somehow.

Once you have it started, you'll realize that your conversational partners are people too. They're daunted by conversation too sometimes, misunderstand or struggle with what to say or how to say something. You'll learn how to guide the conversation so that it becomes less work for you and more pleasurable, because you're leading your conversational partner and helping them find things to say. Eventually, you'll actually come to enjoy this instead of loathing it, and a good interaction will leave you feeling pumped instead of deflated, ready to talk to another friend new or old rather than hoping to slink away to a quiet room to gasp, cringe, and try to recharge.

etcomro · 2014-08-22T20:00:37+00:00

Check out James Marshall from The Natural Lifestyles' vids on youtube. Introverted guy who's a PUA.

[deleted] · 2014-08-22T23:08:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chewedsnatch · 2014-08-23T02:48:28+00:00

This is something i really struggle with, too. I hate talking to people. I just usually am never in the mood. Of course i like talking to pretty women but i usually never feel like it.

Interested in seeing the replies you get to your question.

intelcorei5 · 2014-08-23T04:10:27+00:00

Alpha means doing what you want to do, for your reasons.

If you're introverted because people haven't done anything to win the grace of your conversational genius, you're being silent for you. Choosing the conversations you want to participate in and directing the flow where you want it is alpha, and comes naturally to introverts. (You may have noticed other "introverts" who become lively and talkative when you pick the right subject.)

If you're introverted from fear of conversation with other people, you're not being silent for you.

It's way easier to be alpha and introvert, IMO. We don't require conversation with other people to be happy, so we're naturally choosier. Also, look up Laconic humor. It's a fantastic tool and great for fitness tests, which I suspect are the reason you may be uncomfortable in social situations.

jamieoneal82 · 2014-08-22T20:43:02+00:00

An introverted alpha is basically a sigma.

Soultrane9 · 2014-08-22T21:29:22+00:00

By being alone. You live alone and hunt alone. Maybe with one other guy, but you are alone and don't let anybody interfere with your lifestyle. Your targets are girls with social pressure on them who find this lone wolf life style hot as fuck.

Title	How to be alpha and introvert?
Author	mavrich
Upvotes	6
Comments	11
Date	August 22, 2014 7:52 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2eb1uz/how_to_be_alpha_and_introvert/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-be-alpha-and-introvert.141566 https://theredarchive.com/post/141566

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