What my parents think of my boyfriend is not important. At all. The important part is that I think highly of him and love him.

I have been to his house for a few times and have spent time with his parents. He turns into somethin completely different when he is with his family. He becomes rigid, stone-faced, on his phone, doesn't talk. Recently me and my mother where invited to his house. She was there to have this sort of "what are your intentions with my daughter kind of talk?". Both of us come from a background where family plays an active part in the relationship, a more traditional background.

(CONTEXT: His family (everyone but his parents) have a problem with him being with me. His brother and brothers wife doesn't want anything to do with me. His grandmother (fathers mother) can't know of our relationship. This along with some hurtful comments he has said to me was the reason me and my mother where there. )

My boyfriend is drained of any energy from the moment we enter the house. His parents are wonderful. We are all making smalltalk and joke around while he is quietly sitting there.
Once we start talking about the more serious issues he turns really quiet, defensive and at a few points asks; "why are we talking about this?".

This was his chance to calm both me and my mother in this matter. This was his chance to show himself as a grown man who takes accountability and action.

I was expecting some sort of "I love your daughter very much, I will do everything in my power to make her comfortable, we will work through these problems together.".

Am I in the wrong for expecting these things of him? He has always presented himself as a masculine man and I expected for him to handle this talk in amuch more "manly" way. Take charge and be able to talk like an adult. Instead he acted like a child.