So last night I hit up the bars with some friends who then decided to head home early so I decided to stick around solo. I kept a positive attitude of just having fun and not really looking for anything.

The approach – so I saw this girl sitting at the bar alone so I approached with a standard ‘hey how’s it going’ followed by a ‘so what did you do today?’ It turns out that she was also out solo because her friends couldn’t come out and I thought that was pretty awesome. I sat down next to her and we hit it off pretty well (at least I thought we did) and I started teasing her, putting my arm around her, building kino. She definitely seemed like she was interested - playing with her hair, other IOIs, and returned kino.

Anyway this is where I am confused as to what happened. We probably talked for about 30 minutes or so (maybe that was too long). I also ended up buying her a drink sometime in the middle because I wanted to. Fast forward at some point, she said she needed to go use the restroom. The bar was getting pretty packed by now and a bunch of people started moving into the bar area and someone (a guy) basically moved into her spot. I didn’t really think too much about it and I started chatting up the dude as well since the girl was in the restroom. So while I’m chatting with random people for like a few minutes or so, I think (I'm not sure) I see at the corner of my vision the girl I was talking to. She was in the outskirts of the bar area, I think she looked briefly in my direction and then she walked off.

So that obviously sucked a little bit because I thought we were hitting it off and I wanted to get to know her more. As to why that happened and what to do in the future I think:

  1. Maybe she saw me talking to other people and it was hard to get back to the bar so she thought I was not really interested? Maybe barrier to entry for her was high and not worth the effort?
  2. Maybe I spent too much time just talking and kinoing. Maybe I should’ve actively suggested we go somewhere else? I thought the conversation was interesting so I didn’t drive too hard to go somewhere else.
  3. I probably should have asked for her number. I didn’t because I assumed we were going to hang out more and at the time I thought asking for her number would imply that I didn’t want to hang out anymore. Looking back I probably could have just asked for her number.
  4. Maybe she was just actually not interested? I’m hoping this isn’t the case because that would mean I read her completely wrong and I was almost 100% sure that she was feeling our interaction.

Anyway, I’m analyzing this more to learn from the experience. I’m trying not to be negative and ‘regret’ anything I did or ‘wish’ that I did anything different. I think it was a fun approach and experience in general. However, it is hard to not feel a little bummed out about it all since I thought it was going well.

Anybody have other insight or thoughts on my experience? TL;DR: went out solo, met a girl who was also out solo, thought we hit it off really really well and then she disappeared on me.