What is the source of loneliness? How did you get over the feeling?

2017-09-01T19:45:20+00:00

Even though I had an addiction for 11 years (high-end gaming) and it fucked me up in some other areas, it did teach me one thing - solitude. Being comfortable with yourself on your own.

You mentioned that you have great friends, and a great job, but I wanna ask you - are you really excited about something other than relationships/girls in your life?

I feel like having a passion for something is, if not the key, then a great part in being comfortable with yourself and realizing that you can be both productive, have fun/be entertained and in the end come off more confident as well. In stead of thinking about how you are lonely, you will be taking that time and investing it in something that you love.

Maybe you already have one, and I'm just talking out of my biased opinion since I've never been lonely due to my past, you never know.

2017-09-01T20:15:00+00:00

For a long time, I've felt lonely. Even when hanging out with friends, I've felt lonely. Even when I was in a relationship, I felt lonely.

I realized (and it took a while) that one major reason I felt this way is because I didn't love myself. Sometimes we hear this, and it doesn't make sense. It doesn't mean I go into the mirror and say, "I love you." It means that I listen to my body, and what it needs, and I give it what it needs.

If I feel stressed, I do something to de-stress. If I feel angry, I workout. If I'm disappointed I didn't get something done, I make time to get things done. I've never been happier. Things aren't perfect, I'll say. Things, are, however, way better.

CCR2013 · 2017-09-01T16:26:24+00:00

I feel you I've never been in a relationship:(

HorseMuzzle · 2017-09-01T16:35:04+00:00

I can agree with you 100% on this. Like there's times when I dread starting to get into dating/talking to a girl because I know that when it eventually ends, I'll be crushed. I always have to make sure to keep all my needy emotions pushed back in order to prevent myself from coming on too clingy, even in further stages of a relationship. It feels like a constant battle to hide those kinds of feelings.

Although I still fight these problems ALL the time, I've found that both abundance mentality (talking to multiple girls at once, constantly telling yourself that there's so many other girls out there, etc.), keeping yourself busy with hobbies or work, and preventing one particular girl from being the main focus of your thoughts are the most helpful things for me.

Vodskaya · 2017-09-01T21:15:04+00:00

So I actually managed to get a girl's phone number by just using the "don't give a fuck" method. Talk to her, if you feel like she is having a good time with you, great. Now, you have to make your intentions clear early on, but just don't shout it from the rooftops. Go out with her ALONE and not including other friends. Tease her a little bit but don't overdo it. Make her laugh, just make sure she is having a good time with you. If you guys have fun she'll start associating you with "fun". If you guys are alone somewhere and you feel like the mood is right, go in for the kiss. Don't kiss for too long, make her want more. Then you go home with her. If any of these things fail, you are free to feel sad for a day but no more. You just need to think "she was nice, but there are 3.5 billion others out there waiting to meet me". This might not sound "cool" or it might make you cringe, but there is someone for everyone out there.

2017-09-01T23:42:11+00:00

Sometimes loneliness is energy that became inverted inside your body. For instance, have you ever had an urge to exercise but decided to take a nap or play video games, etc., instead? Then afterwards you probably felt worse than when you had that energy. I think loneliness is like that. Your body has the capacity to feel good or take action, but instead we suppress it and it becomes a negative emotion. Perhaps in your case you're anticipating something happening and the way you handle that anxiety is by feeling lonely.

tifauk · 2017-09-01T21:04:03+00:00

Enjoy being in your own skin and start to do things you enjoy. It might take you a few tries, some hobbies and things to pass time might not be your cup of tea.

Once you are happy doing something on your own, you'll slowly learn to relax and just enjoy being you. Eventually, you'll realise yes, I am alone, but I don't feel lonely

legodmanjames · 2017-09-01T21:15:33+00:00

literally everyone feels loneliness

Notarandomencounter · 2017-09-02T00:44:25+00:00

Everybody does, its a genetic part of being human. We are social creatures, herd animals and thus loneliness is our sense of need to be around other people. Its a good thing in my world, to feel lonely for me means that i yearn for the company of loved ones.

Overcoming loneliness then becomes a question of whether or not you are able to firstly, accept it as a natural and positive trait and a sign of empathy. And secondly actually overcome your lonelyness by living to the fullest, every moment possible in the company of loved and dear ones. Discuss the very question you asked right here with the ones you love and trust. Change can be truly be good and healthy and is a natural part of life again. The unnatural state in a humans life is that of no change. If you need more, go and find it, life is too short to feel lonely when there is only One life to do something about it.

TinderellaWorldwide · 2017-09-02T01:12:05+00:00

I felt really lonely when I moved to live in Vietnam and there were no guys that I wanted to date or anything at the time. It's this shitty feeling in the pit of your stomach. But I think the best thing is to stay single until you're comfortable with being alone.

And accept that there are perhaps other issues which cause the loneliness; e.g. I knew I was frustrated, because I wasn't completely happy with my job. So then I talked to my best friend and in my head made a plan of what I would do - talking to people who are always there for you and making solutions to other stuff helps.

Then when you're in a good place and truly comfortable with being alone, you're less likely to 'need' someone and paradoxically, that's actually the best time to date...

ToxicRocketry · 2017-09-01T18:50:35+00:00

Maybe the source of loneliness is...oh, I don't know, being lonely?

It's not rocket science, being miserable because you don't have a girl has nothing to do with being happy or unhappy in other aspects of your life.

How to fix it? Get a girl. No more loneliness.

Title	What is the source of loneliness? How did you get over the feeling?
Author	GarudaRising
Upvotes	31
Comments	22
Date	September 1, 2017 4:14 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6xfk49/what_is_the_source_of_loneliness_how_did_you_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-the-source-of-loneliness-how-did-you-get.1432976 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432976

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