Girlfriend going to party with a friend for "girls night"

Thizzlebot · 2014-11-18T16:42:28+00:00

It's not "girls night" with a bunch of horny dudes there.

mordanus · 2014-11-18T15:23:13+00:00

Depends on the "girls night"

Going bowling, having a drink and home before 01.00 => Stop overreacting

Going to a frat party in a thong to get her friend laid => Stop and get a new GF.

But yeah if she's on her period it's very unlikely she'll cheat.

alpha-game · 2014-11-18T14:24:28+00:00

Need more info to really understand what is happening. How did you lose frame? How old are you? How old is she? Is this an LTR or plate? Are you still dating on the side, and is she? Has she cheated on you before? Do you suspect she wpuld be hypergamous if given the opportunity to trade up from you?

Women have all sorts of weird social activities, but I've not run 'help my friend get a boyfriend' before. Pretty women are approached by men constantly.

slurmfactory · 2014-11-18T18:34:24+00:00

Guess I'll go against the grain and not be a dick (although I agree you shouldn't expect people to do research on you, include all relevant details in your post.) So you are in a frat, 20 years old, and dating a 19 year old girl. 100% chances eventually you will break up. How many more girls could you date? Pretty much unlimited if you have your shit together, and it sounds like you are headed in that direction. So, she's gonna be at another party getting drunk and bringing in strange men to meet her friend. First, this is not where you meet a boyfriend most of the time, although in college it definitely happens, but to go to frat parties looking for a boyfriend is silly. Then again she is 19.

How do you view this relationship? It sounds like you aren't exactly in love, but are viewing this from a "will I get cheated on, should I break up with her, how can I maintain the power in this relationship" kinda deal. Tell her "sure go have fun" and then go out and hit on girls. Always keep your options open. How much do you trust her? If you don't trust her, then the relationship is already over honestly, what's the point? I would "maintain frame" by going out and being awesome, not giving a shit about if she does end up cheating on you, go out, talk to other girls, and not let this get to you. Then I would evaluate her behavior, her plans overall, how you view the relationship, and how she is acting about the whole thing, then decide from there whether or not this girl should stay your girlfriend or not.

She probably wont cheat, but you wont really know unless she sleeps with you that night. She will, however, be going up to groups of strange, drunk horny guys and being all "omg date my friend" (who I'd assume is less attractive than her, because girls just need to be visible by men to get hit on haha.) So the attention will be all around her all night. I wouldn't take this relationship too seriously at age 19 anyway, so just be prepared to deal with anything without breaking frame/ getting heartbroken/ dealing with it too seriously etc., and youll be fine no matter what happens. Keep working hard and you will always have options though.

Summertime_Dimes · 2014-11-18T19:04:24+00:00

Hey dude. Why do you give a shit? Is she the one? Is she just some chick you like? Are you feeling jealous? Is she the hottest chick at school? Is she the hottest chick you have been with? Any of these reasons or some other reasons may be causing you to feel like you want her to be yours and yours alone.

If that is the way you feel, you have already lost the war, dude. She isn't yours forever. She is yours until you fuck up, or until a bigger better stronger wealthier hotter cooler dude comes along.

You can never control her or any other woman. You can only control you. And if you do a good enough job controlling you, there won't be many guys who are better bigger...etc.

If she wants to go out with her friends, do not stand in her way. Do not break up with her. Do nothing. Do not answer texts. Do not take calls. Do not register her behavior at all. This is the correct course of action if you are ok being with someone that goes out without you. This is also the correct course of action if you are not ok with it. Because either way, you are projecting that you do not care - which is alpha.

If you go through life worrying that your chick will cheat on you, you will have a sad life. If you don't trust her examine those feelings. Where do they come from? Did you cheat? Do you believe yourself to be inferior and therefore worthy of being cheated on? What drives your feelings? Then eliminate that shit. If you are a cheater, you will probably feel cheated on. If you feel like a loser, you will perceive every male of status as a potential threat to your relationship. If you are suspicious of her with good reason, and the feeling is not the result of some internal flaw - ditch her fucking ass.

In any event, be a man. Be stoic. Keep your feelings to yourself. Don't be a controlling dick. If she does something that has no place in your relationship, inform her with your actions, not with your words. If she doesn't catch on, is willfully obstinate, or chooses to do what she wants - the relationship is not right and it needs to be disposed of. But try to do so in a way where you can still fuck her when you want because its fun to fuck women.

Brocccooli · 2014-11-18T19:19:44+00:00

First off, dread game should be passive and at all times. Having to actively enforce dread game means you are doing something wrong. By just being yourself and going about your day to day business should imply dread right from the get go.

It pisses me off when people say "I was thinking about using dread game". Dread should be a constant, subtle feeling she always has.

Second, if you were HER alpha, she wouldn't entertain the idea of going to a party with a bunch of drunk horny guys, because you would be HER alpha. She wouldn't risk that for some drunk schlub she meets at a frat house.

She isn't LTR material IMO

mordanus · 2014-11-18T19:49:41+00:00

Thizzlebot said it best man. If she is going to have a girls night out that's fine. Girls go out drinking or dancing or book clubs or movies or whatever depending on the girls in the group. Going to a frat house surrounded by guys isn't a girls night out. It's a validation seeking night under the guise of getting a girl in the group laid.

ConfidenceMatters · 2014-11-18T20:16:15+00:00

She is now your plate.

Ayy_Feminist · 2014-11-18T19:07:26+00:00

She feels compelled to find her friend a boyfriend in a party full of horny guys.

Awwwww

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-11-18T23:04:50+00:00

If she wants to find a bf for her friend she should enlist your help, so you should offer it. If she doesn't want your help, then there may be an unstated ulterior motive, i.e., she's lying about why she's going out (GNO) with her friend.

oldredder · 2014-11-19T06:34:40+00:00

Nothing wrong with her helping her friend to get laid but how much help does this friend need? Even if she's ugly odds are good she can get laid without help.

Maybe a 2nd pair of girl eyes to spot if a guy's a threat & tell her to not go there? Dunno.

Controlling will never stop cheating. Never.

Explaining: you don't. It's not a good explanation. It's a butt-hurt paranoid explanation. If you want her you don't dump her. If you dump her it's saying you don't value / want her so if you do that, mean it.

Don't lie to yourself. Just decide.

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-11-18T14:26:52+00:00

Ermgotthis · Thu Jan 1 0:00:00 1970 UTC

She is on her period, she won't cheat unless she's some weird creep. You might check what kind of clothes she takes, but I see nothing to worry about right here. Either you give too little info...

Title	Girlfriend going to party with a friend for "girls night"
Author	anoobaccount
Upvotes	6
Comments	30
Date	November 18, 2014 1:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2mnum1/girlfriend_going_to_party_with_a_friend_for_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/girlfriend-going-to-party-with-a-friend-for-girls.143774 https://theredarchive.com/post/143774

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