How do I flirt/tease?

PeliRoj0 · 2017-12-22T15:19:12+00:00

Well, for starters, I was (or am) like you in a sense. But I'm 25. You've probably heard or read from somewhere or someone by now that you need to treat girls like shit for them to pay attention to you. This is true and not true.

Never treat anyone like shit. Never. Always respect women and men alike. Always.

Basically, once you're friends (or put in the ever popular friendzone) with a girl she has all the benefits of a relationship with out the intimate stuff. She will go elsewhere to the "bad guy" to get that then run back to you to complain about him once he upsets her. And he will. I'm not saying at all that nice guys finish last, I'm just saying this happens almost every time with out fail.

if you like, or have even fallen in love someone, you can't just drop everything to be with them or do a favor for them. You can't say yes to everything they want you to do just because you hope that it may gain you favor in being their romantic partner. That never works, and you will become their "friend". You will fail. If you're always there, she will expect it. And sometimes that's okay. That's never a bad thing. If you're friends at least they don't hate you, right? Just don't be their "good" go to friend. Don't become that guy she comes to to talk about her feelings and the other guys that hurt her or screw her over. That's really not your place anyway. Don't be one of her "girlfriends". If she does that then you're pretty much out of the game unless you are ready to do some heavy duty reversal on your dynamic, and that takes time. You would have to withdrawal yourself from the friendship and be more scarce and unavailable. You may find her seeking you out more than usual. We want what we can't have. And by taking yourself out of the equation when you have been there by her side for so long may make her yearn for you more. This is more difficult if she already has a boyfriend of course. Then you'd be playing with fire. Don't be a little homewrecker at the age of 16. Just don't. If you're meant to be with someone, you will be.

So, with all that said, just don't become their good friend. Be more of an acquaintance at first. Be nice, don't be a dick of course. It's hard to explain, just be sort of a dick LOL. Even if she asks you for a favor and you are completely available or ready to do anything she asks you, don't. Giver her a, "Umm, maybe. Let me see if I can [or if "I'm free that day"... insert excuse there depending on the situation.]

Of course you can, but you can't let her know that. If she invites you to hang out with her and her friends (i.e. her other girlfriends) DO NOT go unless you want to become like one of her girlfriends. As much as you may want to be in her presence all of the time, you mustn't. This leaves nothing for her to desire, she doesn't want "anything more" because she's gotten what she needed from you - a shoulder to cry on. She'll have you to talk to, and some other dude to love on.

It's a very delicate and exhausting dance to be honest. And sometimes it's completely unnecessary. Or maybe like a give and take if you will. It's the art of teasing (HS girls can and will tease the hell out of you btw). Keep her guessing and know when sh'es trying to play games with you. I don't play hard to get. That's bull shit. If a girl wants me, I'm all down with flirting a a bit of teasing, but too much back and forth just pisses me off and I go elsewhere. I don't have time.

Eventually, if she wants to hang out alone and just with you, that's a good chance she may be interested in something more than friends. Not always though. It's not 100% fool proof. You just have to know how to read the signs of attraction which is an entire other reddit thread entirely. Throwing out a compliment about her appearance is always nice, just don't do it every damn day. If she happens to have changed her hair, gotten new shoes, or dresses a little more up than usual, throw out a compliment. Girls love that. And always mean it. Don't just say an empty compliment. That earn big points with even you female friends. We, as humans, want certain things like a new haircut or a new outfit to be noticed. It's like an ego boost for everybody. You don't just do that stuff for you (but mainly you do or why else would you do it), you want other people to notice how good you look too.

It's taken me more than an entire decade to figure out what I was doing wrong. I didn't exactly have all the resources that you do at you age. Trial and error, my friend. And lots of research and talking people, and personal reflection of what I had done wrong in these situations in the past.

Let me know if you have any questions or if anything was unclear. I just want you know what I didn't. And everything that I've said has either some from observation or personal experience. It's real shit LOL.

NilsFlair · 2017-12-22T21:07:13+00:00

To learn how to flirt, you have to start becoming comfortable with showing intent.

Actively expressing the fact that you like he girl on a sexual level. It doesn’t need to be in what you say, but can also be expressed in the subcommunications (body language, eye contact, voice tonality, proximity etc).

innergamedude · 2017-12-22T15:57:50+00:00

Yeah, I have a great deal of experience being in your shoes. The problem is that you get Friendzoned^TM because you make polite boring conversation to them and so you just look like another defanged male that she won't think of sexually. Advice that would have been great for 16-year-old me, which I hope is applicable enough to you:

Notice when you're sucking up or otherwise just being nice because you want her to like you. This can be hard, because it's an automatic response in many situations, but being ingratiating is a great way to spray water on any flame. Don't follow her around or otherwise show fawning interest.
Talk less, especially about yourself. It's boring and douchey. I'm 33 and I still fall into this and I wish I could naturally be more interested in people, and better about remembering that people don't want to hear about me.
For flirting, there's a broad category of things I loosely associate with what used to be called negging. A lot of the examples center around drawing attention to something she's shown about herself and having fun with it. Really, any time someone makes strong statements about their tastes, you can have a go at it. Think of it as Gentle Trolling. Example:

Her: I always study at Starbucks. It's how I can focus.

You: Haha, okay, there Ms. Fancy Suburbs. Do you get a pumpkin spice mocha skinny frap while you're there? (note: I love calling other white people white along these lines. It's kind of an edgier way to call them nerdy, and doesn't really offend.)

Her (playfully): Shut up! [Punches you affectionately].

You can also give her a job and then fire her:

You: You are my new Director of Social Media Marketing

You [Later]: You are so fired!

You can give her points and later take them away:

You: Wait, did you just post a picture of your food? I thought you were cool, but now I have take away 10 points from your awesomeness level.

The point isn't to make her feel insecure or get her to prove herself to you, but just to be a fun human who isn't either constantly sucking up to her, or making idle conversation about the weather/politics/sports/etc... Always make any teases playful and deliver with a smile and notice if you've hurt her feelings, back up and find a way to show that you're just playing around (e.g. a nudge on the shoulder, "Joking!").

Good luck and don't worry if it takes a while. High school is a really hard time to date, anyway. Just try to get some flirting practice in for now.

2017-12-22T18:27:00+00:00

You need the mental confidence game first. without confidence you simply can't flirt because you're sitting there inside your own head deciding which line to use next so you stammer out something awkward.

You also have become the classic "nice guy". You're not really nice, you are a liar because you PRETEND to be nice to a girl with the ulterior motive of romance, which is not a good thing. You shoudl always be up front with your intentions and make it known. That guarantees you will never be friend zoned.

RedVelocitiy · 2017-12-23T02:11:43+00:00

I suggest reading the sidebar at RedPill.

Title	How do I flirt/tease?
Author	OneDayTheyAllSay
Upvotes	53
Comments	23
Date	December 22, 2017 1:39 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7lhh7d/how_do_i_flirttease/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-flirttease.1438880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438880

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