Gradually breaking down the friendzone.

ovster94 · 2018-02-22T12:15:53+00:00

Stahp. Talk to other girls. Fuck 10 other girls and then you can fuck her. Don’t invest time where your investment won’t pay off. Good luck. Read all of the sidebar pls

cxpcman · 2018-02-22T12:27:20+00:00

I think the first think is to let her miss you . When she get in touch you will need to increase sexual tension somehow.that doesnt seem creepy. After being just a friend all sexual behavior will be seem as not normal .

When you met again you need to behave diferent more fun more focus even dress diferent will so the trick or maybe something exciting, that way she will want some of the pie you're eating. Let me know how it goes .

ImJustSo · 2018-02-22T12:58:29+00:00

You are over thinking this way too much. You don't need to limit shit, the only thing you need to do is start treating her the way you treat girls you've slept with. I would assume by flirting, touching, etc.

You don't need to talk about anything out of the ordinary, you don't need to discuss dates, you don't need to develop attraction, or comfort, or anything else, because that's all been built for 5 years.

The only thing you need to do to change this from a friendship to a physically intimate relationship is to begin physical intimacy. You mentioned hugs, blah blah blah. That's all you need to do. Start touching, start cuddling, start kissing, start fucking.

Do not talk about it, ever. Not one single time. And don't change anything else.

Edit: Oh and gtfo of here with that gradual shit. Escalate as fast as she'll let you, in person. If you take your time, she's going to cement the friendzone.

ThermiteMillie · 2018-02-22T12:50:10+00:00

Just start treating her like more then friend. Playfully touch more, look at her a little longer and don't drag it out. Make it known you are interested in more.

DrBalance · 2018-02-22T12:23:13+00:00

I am mostly going to go with the thought that it's nearly impossible to turn around 5 years of friend zone, normally. However, there are a few signs that aren't the normal 'nice guy' situation like you actually enjoy her company without having been trying to exchange it for sex points so far, and are in good shape, and she's trying to reign you in a bit.

But yeah, girls will put you in a box if you let them - if you give them the connection and validation and don't demand the sex (by demand I mean you do everything you do without even making any move at all), then they have a low risk, high reward situation. And unfortunately that means you aren't at all in the category of potential sex partner.

I don't think there is a low risk way of doing it, you're still going to have to 'game' her by being flirty, bringing in emotional spikes. And another important thing will be withdrawing the time and attention you give her. Make the message clear - actually make that tinder profile, and start asking her advice on your photos. You're telling her what's going on, you're showing that you are a sexual creature who is chasing girls, but you're not saying 'I was nice to you so you owe me sex'. She might start acting differently.

You're going to have to display sexual attraction to her so she knows - she is going to genuinely think you are gay best friends until you show her otherwise. So I'd be calling her clubbing outfit or whatever sexy without breaking stride, or telling her she's cute when she does x.

Just say you weren't already good friends - you should be trying to date other girls anyway, so you should still be doing that. And as the time you spend as a result dries up with her, and she doesn't get the attention/validation, she'll realise she has to work for it. So ironically by 'forgetting' her as an option and going for others, may be the only way to actually get her. You can't just flick the switch in her head from besties to fuck buddies or gf, to her that would be just as wierd as if your best male friend came out and said he was only your friend for 10 years because he wanted to fuck you. You have to change the dynamics of the relationship so she works for the attention/validation she craves.

Runway_ho · 2018-02-22T13:02:58+00:00

You have to introduce the concept that you aren't an asexual being. Being only friends is like being siblings. You have trouble even picturing them in a sexual way. You already have the emotional connection, you are her type (acc. to you, at least) and you spend a ton of time together. The only thing missing is to subtly flip that switch.

This is a hard thing to do subtly, but you can start being more open about sex. Crack sexual jokes, mention being horny (though for the love of god make it a bit innocent like being a grumpy because you're horny), do some mild flirting and talk about things that are sexy or related to sex. Talk about the tinder thing for example. You can pivot that to mention that you have needs, you can say that you haven't been on there because of her and even mention not having been with anyone for a while.

This is kind of like proving to her that she's wrong about something so it's going to ruffle feathers no matter how smooth you are and, if you aren't smooth, it might alienate her. However it sounds like you guys are pretty tight and her cutting you off for a while might actually help you out. She'll see what she's losing and when she re-engages it will feel slightly fresh.

nycxjz · 2018-02-22T12:29:42+00:00

Seems difficult. I respect your decision to try. Personally don’t have any advice to add as I haven’t done this before. I just wish you luck

The_Reddit_Jester · 2018-02-22T15:06:40+00:00

Do you flirt with her already? That's how I break down the barriers. I just flirt with everyone and eventually end up making out or getting hot and heavy with girl friends of mine.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-02-22T17:12:06+00:00

You are her gay shopping buddy, you are in a very very deep hole right now. Its best you start making yourself unavailable to her and tell her that you're dating and you don't have much time for her. Girls want what they can't have, and she can have you (as a friend) any time she wants. The important thing though is never change your attitude, don't start being mean to her or anything or actually ignoring her, just be less available. She has to start questioning herself and her power over you, she may get a bit mad but she will also get a bit needy and some of that can translate into sexual interest.

The other thing is drop the feminine activities with her. No more long nights sharing your deepest feelings. You have to start exuding male sexuality and a bit of danger.

I'm dating a girl who I have been friends with for I would say 15 years. She became single and never really gave any signals of interest. I was rather busy with work and didn't have much time for her so the few times I did see her it was maybe once per month at most. I asked her out and immeditely took charge. She saw me as this shy guy but she quickly found out in a relationship I'm not. I make decisions, I pay for meals, I have traditional male values and I am very intense sexually. She is putty in my hands and follows me around like a puppy dog now.

Title	Gradually breaking down the friendzone.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	12
Date	February 22, 2018 11:38 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7zea7r/gradually_breaking_down_the_friendzone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/gradually-breaking-down-the-friendzone.1442104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1442104

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