This is part of a series I have put together since reading Models in 2015. I like to highlight how the principles of the book emerge in certain situations.

How you handle a rejection could be the sexiest thing you demonstrate to a woman. She has probably seen half a dozen guys completely break when she turned them down, tears, begging - the lot. I've been there myself! That's why it's important to show outcome independence when you get rejected even if you're actually quite hurt.

I met S in a local restaurant, introduced by a mutual friend. I asked her what she was doing that night

S: "Waiting for the universe to grant me something"

Me: "Hello, this is the universe speaking. I'm taking you out tonight".

She's a real hippie. We went on a beautiful motorcycle to a massage place (it was closed) but then launched in a little adventure along the coastline behind the shop which was almost deserted and really picturesque. Things got sexy when she wanted to walk out into the shallows and do a "Shakti" (tantric female goddess) ceremony. Lots of fun, physically mirroring each other, touching etc. At the end of the night I dropped her home and said

Me: "I had an amazing time. I really can't wait to see you again".

S: \*smile drops\ "Y...yeah."*

Ouch! Cue David Deida...“You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be a in a relationship with you.”The Way of the Superior Man

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I received this text later that night.

No worries! The date was great and I'm not desperate for more. If your dates aren't great, you have work to do!

I went about my business over the next few days. Kept working out, going out, doing yoga. Then ran into S at a dance night. Then ran into her at a bar. At which I offered to take her home to her place on my bike. After which we went swimming. One thing led to another and we slept together.

Pros:

- look at the effort she has put into her rejection of me. Sensitive and honest. Deserving of a noble response.

- look at my acceptance. I wholly support her choice, and am vulnerable about my own desire for her

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Cons:

- you can probably tell that my initial keenness was what put her off. Play it cool at first, but don't let too much time pass or you might run out of it.

Principles: be honest about how you feel, but work on your inner game so that these rejections don't phase you. If you are struggling to overcome the shame that comes with rejection, I recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (to take the sting out of it) and meditation (to allow past traumas to come up and dissolve).

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