Do you guys approach on girls at the gym?

dailymanup · 2018-10-04T19:12:37+00:00

Talk to people in the gym. Make friends. Talk to girls. But I generally recommend not trying to close immediately or the first time you talk to her. Use a modified version of the college approach -- the approach for self contained communities like the gym. It sucks to get rejected by a chick and then have to see her everyday while you're on the bench press. So the short answer is, yes you should definitely talk to girls, but don't try to close the first time you talk to her. Trust me you'll see her again. Take a little time to feel things out.

2018-10-04T21:34:05+00:00

What I've done is this: approach if she's using a machine/has weights that you want to use/is using a bench you need etc... and just ask how many sets she has left/is she using it. If she seems upbeat, talk to her a bit about what's she's training and go from there. If not, then just thank her and get back to your training.

Only get her number if you feel attraction there, if not just exchange names, if you know you'll see her again and then go from there. If you're more social on the gym you will likely get a better reaction.

harishblessyou · 2018-10-04T18:34:13+00:00

Never stare... it’s makes u look pathetic.... dont give them gym advice even if they ask.... have a normal convo.... talk to more people not just the girls... that’s about it... works almost every time

recyclablebanthas · 2018-10-05T03:29:30+00:00

1

Do you guys approach on girls at the gym?

The problem here is that "approach" is wildly misunderstood. We're talking about opening an interaction, right?

Well, interactions are more than just verbal. You're "opening" and "approaching" all the time, especially at a place like a gym. You're just not always VERBALLY interacting with them.

But body language? Eye contact? Facial expressions? Gestures? You're doing those things all the time, even if you're actively trying to "avoid" interaction.

2

Felt conflicted to approach on a girl on the gym yesterday. I ended up not doing it even after making brief eye contact with and her flashing a smile. I try my best not to check girls out in the gym, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or be seen as a horny creep.

The assumption here is that you can't verbally interact with a girl without it being some big overt sexual move. Which is false.

You're sharing an experience with ALL the people in the gym, regardless of whether you TALK to them while you're there. Not everyone wants to TALK at the gym, even as they are definitely interacting with the people around them.

3

Do you guys not care about where you approach women? Are their places that are off limits to you for approaching women? Do you not care about being labeled a creep in the gym and stare at girls all day? Is my insecurity showing?

There are no set rules about "where to talk to girls," and all that.

The point is, when you're around people, pay attention. Stop fussing about all this nonsense wondering how stuff is going to come across. You pay attention and maybe something strikes you about the current situation and you make a comment. If she wants to talk, she'll answer. If not, she won't. And if she really doesn't want to talk, she'll be actively ignoring people and their eye contact as she non-verbally interacts with those around her.

Pay attention. That's how you know.

2018-10-04T22:42:09+00:00

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LingeringGnome · 2018-10-04T19:02:35+00:00

I love the gym, so I have a "no pickup" policy there unless it's blatantly obvious the woman is DTF right away, or she approaches me.

Also, I don't have time to be the class clown at the gym and talk to everyone. I'm there to work out, then go about my career goals for the day, not sit around chatting with people, and I hope they'd feel the same.

DaddyB0d · 2018-10-04T23:28:12+00:00

Do NOT game at your gym.

By all means, be appropriately friendly to everyone. Acknowledge the people training right next to you. If you're a regular, feel free to say hi.

If a girl wants to talk to you, she'll let you know.

judahman8 · 2018-10-05T10:15:09+00:00

I don't want to be that guy who hits on girls at the gym. Nobody likes that guy

DaygameCoach · 2018-10-06T20:06:33+00:00

Approach women at the gym. If you think you are creepy or a creep...you are! that is called a self limiting belief and you need to kill it. And stop caring what people think (in normal situations). Bottom line is make your game super tight (you can do this in a year or two if you work hard) and you will do well in a variety of situations.

Off limit's places? If I worked in the same unit with someone at work or one of us supervised the other, It's off. If she is in a different work unit...it's I'm ok with it. A funeral would probably be off limits (but I'm speculating). Other than that...why limit myself.

I did write an article about meeting women at the gym:

http://www.daygamer.net/2012/01/01/how-to-meet-women-at-the-gym/

traviij · 2018-10-31T00:06:14+00:00

I personally like to talk to folks any chance I get. It's impossible not to notice the same people that pile into the gym night after night. So, why not extend the opportunity for them to get to know you. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying here, It is NOT my main goal when I show up to the gym. That said, If I am genuinely interested in a lift someone is doing, or a particular tempo someone is using, maybe even a shirt or hat, I do not withhold a compliment. I can't think of a situation like this where the person I said something to didn't respond well. Once you initiate an interaction with someone, you have a friend you can turn to at the gym for advice, or simply just to stop and chat, or maybe even a fella to invite to your fantasy league next year, or a guy(or gal) you can grab a brew with.

Quick note: Remember, everyone is at the center of a network. That one person, man or women is the gateway to many o more relationships you could potentially build, you just don't know it yet. This is just one of those things where you don't really know how deep the rabbit hole goes.It's also a great 1 x 2 punch when you see someone at the gym and outside of the gym, for example, this girl who works at a grocery store I shop at has been going to my gym for a long time. I made sure to say something to her while she was at work, compared to when she was at the gym - Today, she regularly slips me discounts while I give her some workout tips (not interested in this particular girl, but it drives home the point that the gym could be used as a catalyst for conversation outside of the gym i.e. bar scene, hot dinner spots, farmer's markets etc).

You may feel I haven't talked enough about women so far in this LONG post. Well, maybe because that is the point I am getting at. Personally, I think a morally excellent, and productive life is the most important thing to set right - not my "game". Don't misconstrue that to think that I don't value women. I love women, but I can love women because I got all the other components that naturally build me into a valuable man that women pine for. I can best encompass this by saying that women are NOT the center of a man's universe. That is my approach to life that I have unfortunately learned by being an externally validated person for far longer than I would like to admit.

I know, I know, somehow, this brings me back to the gym. When I gym, I could care less about those neon yoga pants that are skin tight. Because of this, I talk to (and date) the girls like the ones that rock the shit out of said pants with immaculate figures. It is not a priority for me that I make a girl pay attention to me or give me her number. I am going to be just fine with or without her approval or digits. Thus, my investment is way low, self-respect/self-value is way high = signifier of status and confidence thus women are incredibly receptive to me.

WITH ALL THAT SHIT SPEWED OUT, this is what I can offer you;

1) The gym can be a scene of its own. Everyone is different with their priorities and their routines, but know that everyone always has room to connect with more people and to make a place like a gym a fun and interactive environment.

2) Do not place restrictions on the type of people you talk to. I had this streak where it felt like I was only around middle-aged women. One of which I noticed one evening wearing an interesting bracelet that I went on to ask about- she now calls me by my nickname and introduces me to all the young ladies she considers "my type" in her dance class. I now know a couple of them REAL well.

3) Compounding Interest. Want to have a richer dating life? Invest in a richer social life. The better your relationships are with a variety of people, the happier you will find yourself, the more new and invigorating activities you will do, the more confident you will be, the less you will "need" women's validation thus making you 10xmore proficient with women. The more focused you are on building the basis for all other aspects of being a man, the easier your interactions with great women become. I took up basketball recently at my gym. It is important to note that I freaking sucked initially, but I stuck with it, was quick to ask for pointers or for some drills. For this, gained the respect of some of the regulars to whom I play with all the time now. It is awesome to go from square one to a valuable component to a pickup team in under a month. I'm glad I stomached the pain period, and it has already paid off. We even have a group text that spends a lot of time ragging on each other, share sports news along with being good to go downtown with on a Friday night.

Much to the point that many people below have made, I have had gym conversations turn into invaluable relationships. Do not limit yourself to just your "game", expand everything and you will be fulfilled far beyond what you could imagine in your sweetest of dreams.

pglass2015 · 2018-10-04T18:51:07+00:00

don't only talk to women, just be social in general. If everyone seems to like you, they will too. Also, don't interrupt them, or give unsolicited workout advice unless you only intention is to ACTUALLY help their form (so they don't hurt themselves). I have been a 3-4 days/week gym go-er and I have only given 3 women any lifting advice, and only because they were doing exactly what I did when I hurt myself. At the gym, I would say only plan for encounters (with anyone, but especially women) to be less time than their break between reps (45 seconds tops).

In all, I wouldn't attempt to pick up a woman at the gym, they are typically there to get in shape and don't want to be disturbed, I have gone on a date with 1 girl and she more or less came onto me.

quinnmcd · 2018-10-04T20:53:09+00:00

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trosaway · 2018-10-04T21:31:38+00:00

All of the time. Just be cool and confident. If their dressed up in matching clothes and make up they are there to meet guys.

I find direct works pretty well in gym. More of your eyes, body language, touching than what you say. If you meander slowly around and stare, chicks know what’s up and you look low value. If you walk right up like it’s normal talk, touch (arms, shoulder, back, hip) and make eye contact while speaking they get the idea. And from my experience they appreciate the directness of it.

Always seems weird when a dude walks up to a chick in the gym beats around the bush and starts asking a bunch of lame questions.

Also.... be prepared to get blown out if you approach at the gym. Even though I’ve had success at the gym, Ive probably never been blown out more harshly. When they are into it they are intonit. But if she’s really there to work out and you aren’t a good looking dude with skills it probably won’t go well.

Title	Do you guys approach on girls at the gym?
Author	quinnmcd
Upvotes	7
Comments	27
Date	October 4, 2018 5:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9le083/do_you_guys_approach_on_girls_at_the_gym/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-you-guys-approach-on-girls-at-the-gym.1454465 https://theredarchive.com/post/1454465

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