There’s this beautiful girl in college whom i’ve been dying to date for a while. Whenever i catch sight of her, it’s like i lose my balance. I do wanna approach and establish more of a connection. Yet, there’s no common ground that i can think of. So have you people got any idea how to move forward?

CleanWholesomePhun · 2018-12-21T14:40:18+00:00

This is why you're supposed to form good interpersonal relationships with as many people as possible. If you were the type of guy who says "hi" to the lunch-ladies, janitors, and every stranger you meet, nothing would seem weird about starting up a convo with this beautiful girl. Hell, she'd probably be like "oh, it's that super friendly guy everyone likes, I'm glad he's talking to me!" and your common ground would be that you would have SOMEONE in common in your extended social circle, even if it's just someone you said "Hey, nice shirt!" to.

OTOH, if you mostly keep to yourself, it becomes obvious that you're only starting this conversation because you want to fuck this chick - and that's why you feel awkward.

You can just talk to her and see how it goes, to get the nervousness out of your system, but if you want to be successful at starting conversations with strangers, you have to start conversations with ALL kinds of strangers so it's not weird and you're good at it.

haminthefryingpan · 2018-12-21T15:57:15+00:00

Loudly exclaim “I LIKE YOUR SHOES” and then walk away real fast

desal · 2018-12-21T15:16:27+00:00

Unpopular opinion here, if you have nothing in common with this girl, maybe it's not meant to be. Of course, a hookup based on looks alone is fun, and you are in college, when in rome..

Frya · 2018-12-21T16:24:38+00:00

You are thinking about this in a wrong way:

-"She’s always around her friends" -> That's a good card to play. Showing that you can befriend her friends and you are not scared of groups. If you can casually approach her group and just start a light conversation with them all, about their class or what they are studying in panic ("damn you all look so stressed, what are you studying for?"). Just sharing fun stuff, laughing, small talk. Forget about stiff introductions and exchanging names, first start the conversation, then when emotions are nice go "btw, I'm Drrola".
"There's no common ground" -> That's also a good card. If you are just clinging to "hey what are you reading, what are you listening to, where are you going" it shows that you are awkward and don't know what to do. By opposite, if you can make conversation happen out on thin air and ride the wave, then you are the fun guy.
Remember this for your whole life -> Conversations with women are about emotions that you express, not about right topics or especially logic. When you approach her group of friends, it's not about what you say, it's about emotion that you express - it should be warm, calm, grounded and welcoming. Sincere smile.

Approach her group, express emotions (small talk is just the conveyor belt), if emotions are right, try to know their names (and her), after 2-3 conversations with people from that group ("hi again, whats up guys?") try to isolate your girl ("hey I'm hungry, who's going to that college bar with me?" (food is a strong common ground haha). After you split the group and you are with her and let's say 2 of her friends, take their fb. Then it should be easy to maintain connection, especially if after adding her on fb you keep posting pics of you in social situations and you keep meeting her and her group at college. Then if you meet her quiet often, ask her out, and when you are alone with her, start expressing sexy vibe right from the start.

TLDR: Focus on being social instead obsessing with her.

scarlet_speedster22 · 2018-12-21T14:19:22+00:00

Dude you’re in college go up to her and tell her you like her. Tell her you’re interested in getting to know her better and ask her for coffee (or if you’re old enough drinks). If there is something cool or unique in the area ask her to join you on a date there.

You’ll never know if she interested in you or not if you don’t ask. You don’t want to look back and say “what if” but I can almost guarantee if you make your move you’ll be happy you did regardless of outcome! You got this OP!

kap1pa · 2018-12-21T15:58:20+00:00

No matter what, you've already lost. When people say putting up on a pedestal, this is what that looks like. You don't know anything about her, yet you're crushing hard, That's crazy friend.

My best advice:before you shoot your shot, go cold approach at least 20 women you're interested in. It will help work through some of that anxiety youre going to have and it will give you an idea on how to make it happen with the cutie.

There's 3 billion women on the planet, the one you're swooning over isn't that special.

nobody2000 · 2018-12-21T14:23:04+00:00

You have more of a common ground with more people than you think. One of the biggest assets one can have in their social life is learning how to find them.

Now - with that said, I am not very good at this. My go-to method that worked for me well was simply humor. I'm in a committed relationship now, but when I was dating years ago, and using the methods here, I found that deadpan humor worked out wonderfully for me:

If you're the type that understands deadpan humor you tend to find all of it hilarious. This was a plus. One thing that was easy for me to commandeer was instead of saying "that's what she said!" I'd just go "I've heard that before..." and you'll be surprised how good it works both with straight humor and self-deprecating humor (although tread lightly with the latter).
If someone just "didn't get it" I quickly realized that this was probably someone who wasn't going to work out with me. I moved on. No use getting stuck on one person.

As you might guess, bolder and clumsier men are probably flirting and approaching her every day, with varying amounts of success. My advice to you is to also approach. Just find a way, or just take "i see her right now" as the opportunity. Nothing you say will even rank in "the most hilariously bad interactions I've ever had with men" list that she has going on in her head.

ThaBromar · 2018-12-21T13:32:21+00:00

Check out her friends instead? Lol

kap1pa · 2018-12-21T14:55:32+00:00

Forget everything you know and everything you've heard. Stop thinking literally turn your thoughts off. Be dumb and empty. Go and approach her like a dumb caveman with your natural instinct to fuck the next time you see her.

Comments