My crush slept with my best friend

the_life_is_good · 2019-03-06T16:52:44+00:00

You my friend, have one-itis. Inside of your head, something is telling you this girl is special, this girl is different, this girl is the one for you. That is a logical fallacy. To quote Ross Jeffries, "The only time to put a girl on a pedestal is if I'm looking up her skirt". You did not properly control her frame. Game is not only about controlling your frame and subconscious, but about influencing her frame and anchoring states of her subconscious to you. You didn't do this, so when she got into the "I wanna fuck someone mood" she banged your friend and not you since she did not tie these emotions to you.

My best advice is to move on from her. I've been in that same situation. Girl I liked slept with someone else, felt heartbroken, still pursued her, got her, didn't like the feelings I had tied to her in that regard because she slept around while I was trying to date her and all I could think about was the past. So you have to ask yourself, is it worth doting over, or should I move on. The answer is obviously move on, since if you go back and try to pursue her, it's likely to have a negative impact to your frame. Until you can acknowledge and control the emotions surrounding it you will not get her. In terms of getting over it, go fuck someone. Seriously, go hook up with as many girls as you can and see how you feel about her then. The feeling of depression you have is a result of evolutionary biology. You feel weaker, and that you were not selected as a mate, which would carry extremely negative connotations in a more primitive tribal humanity. Technology has progressed rapidly but the human biology is still ancient, so what I want you to realize is that you are feeling this because of something that is inherently false. You are not worth less because of this, you are not doomed because of this, every vagina in the universe did not suddenly clap shut because of this.

Go talk to more girls. I personally choose to follow some of the NLP practices combined with newer rapport / social circle game methods. The important part is to not focus on trying to illicit behavior out of an individual. Humans are very similar to dogs, in order to get the dog to sit you have to give it some treats to train it. You have to anchor a feeling to yourself and the behavior which you want to illicit. So when you talk to girls don't think "how can I be nice to her", "how can I get her to go out with me", "How can I CAUSE to get EFFECT". I want you to think instead about how you can tie feelings to you that she may have.

How can you get her to think about attraction and then anchor that feeling to yourself? How can you get her to want to have sex, how do I illicit that emotion in her on a subconscious level? What obstacles in her mind do I have to clear for that to work (checklists, societal pressures, etc.).

Sorry for the long ass write up, I'm bored about to head to class.

UnleashDaJuice · 2019-03-06T21:50:14+00:00

Simple. Cut both of these toxic, selfish bozos out of your life. They showed that they're deceitful by keeping it from you in the first place. A TRUE friend wouldn't smash a crush you have and it just shows he's in SCARCITY.

Out of all the cute girls out there and he chose your crush because it was the easiest route available, scarcity in its purest form. You dont want a dude in scarcity in your life because they're capable of anything and are ready to sell you and your friendship out for some pussy. good riddance!

WhitexMamba00 · 2019-03-06T15:46:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

xesup2 · 2019-03-06T16:45:41+00:00

This is what you should do. Promise if you do this that little wicked bitch will realize she lost a good person like you.

Be friends with your best friend and the girl you liked. Continue chatting up with them like NOTHING HAPPENED. You don't even know if they hooked up and quite frankly you don't give a shit.

Now, focus on improving your looks, and money, and career and most importantly WORK ON YOUR GAME. Your goal for the next few months should be to work on your game and get a girl that's HOTTER THAN HER.

Once you're with your new girlfriend introduce yourself to your best friend and that whore! But remember, your best friend could steal this girl again so I'd advise you to talk shit about your bestfriend to this new girl so you break his social value down a little bit!

TangoZulu · 2019-03-06T16:57:21+00:00

This may hurt to hear, but you only have yourself to blame. You had a year to make a move but didn't because you were scared. Not scared of ruining a friendship, but scared of being rejected. You're hiding behind "jeopardizing our friendship" because you've "always been attracted to her" and "feel like I’m in love with this girl". So your friendship wasn't an honest friendship to begin with, you were hoping to use your friendship to slow-play her into a romantic relationship. That's dishonest and manipulative. The lesson here is to be honest with yourself AND your crushes. You can't blame the girl or your friend, only yourself.

xesup2 · 2019-03-06T17:47:42+00:00

You suffer from oneitis.

At this point is too late. She will probably never be interested in you.

You need to accept it and let her go. Look at yourself in the mirror, and accept "I don't deserve her", "I don't own her", "she is not meant for me". Accept it. Accept that she will never be yours.

If you leave any small doubt, it will corrode you. You will start fantasising, and you will end believing your fantasies, no matter how ridiculous. It will only make it worse.

You need to accumulate a lot of experience, taking women to bed, to be ready, the day you find a girl that you really want, and be able to conquer her.

You failed, due to your incompetence as a lover. Learn. You need accumulated experience.

There is no "one girl" for you or for anybody. Don't believe in magic. There is no "soul mate" name written along your name on a magical wall in heavens, assigning that person to you. That's blue pill bullshit.

Just because you like a girl, it doesn't means that she is designed for you. It doesn't means that she owes you anything. You don't own any part of her.

For a woman, there is no love without sex. If you cannot seduce her into having sex, you are worthless to her.

Women perceive you as inferior if you fail to take them to bed. And you failed. She will not be attracted to you. She has already classified you as non sexual, and thus non lovable. There is no recovering from that.

For the next women (many of them): you cannot convince them into liking you. You have to seduce them. You have to drive their feelings. That's what they expect from a man. That's what they need from a man.

You do not sit next to them, waiting for them to "see the beauty in you". You are only showing your incompetence with your inaction, and that's a turn off.

Errantsquire · 2019-03-06T17:23:43+00:00

You were and still are the provider male for this girl. You give her emotional support that she needs and she doesn't see you in any other light.

Start talking to more girls which will in turn mean less time for her. You don't have to be mean just be busy with girls that are more worth your time.

IntelligentAct4 · 2019-03-06T18:25:24+00:00

Just wait til you're in your 30s. It becomes a game to fuck the same 20-somethings your friends have fucked, and vice versa. Unless I just have a fucked up group of friends.

latinhillbilly · 2019-03-06T18:37:43+00:00

Go out and screw some other women. Put your beer goggles on, turn off the light and screw a few below your standards if you have to.

Ill-Oil-5657 · 2019-03-06T17:08:51+00:00

That’s awesome! You should be glad your friend got to smash because you never would have. The fact that she knew you liked her and tried to hide it as a result should confirm this to you. Sorry man you never had a chance and should be happy someone in the crew got to do it. Man up and quit acting like a pansy, your friend did you a favor. You probably feel like he wronged you but he knew you never had a chance so he might as well. It’s only bro code violation if you’re actually fucking the chick or have money invested in her. Denying your friend the happiness of smashing because of some hypothetical puppy love scenario that won’t pan out and because of your emotions is a real female like weak minded trait. Plus there’s what 3.5 billion women out there. Go get one of those instead of pining after and falling in unrequited love with one that doesn’t see you in that way. Let this be a lesson to all you friend zone chump out there. Never befriend a girl who you’re attracted to or want to fuck. If you meet one youblike and she’s on some let’s just be friends then tell her you have enough friends walk away and cut her out of your life. What the fuck do you want female friends for anyway- they are the most flaky unlreliable creatures known to man and when you’re in a clutch situation more likely than not will be nowhere to be found. Not to mention the friendship itself will probably be on inequitable grounds and you will be finding yourself doing a lot more for her then she for you if anything at all.... another topic I digress.

GladDark · 2019-03-06T17:30:33+00:00

How good looking is your friend compared to you?

I've been in a similar situation before and it is rough tbh. I remember not being able to sleep for a few nights lol

IN my case, I DID make a move on the girl though (and she rejected me. I knew she would as she'd given me no IOI's), but then when she met my very handsome friend, she basically threw herself at him (LOTS of massive IOI's within seconds, thus he knew he could make the move without fear of rejection). Felt bad lol

peppermintpattymills · 2019-03-07T01:34:24+00:00

I had a best female friend who I talked to every day for a year and hung out with all the time and then one day out of the blue she was dating another guy from our friend group, and they'd been seeing each other in private for like a month.

I was super depressed about it, a few weeks after I found out a chance encounter happened where we hung out together alone, and at the end of the night I told her that I had feelings for her. She's a genuinely kind person and was super cool about it, told me that she wouldn't be mad if I needed time on my own, and that's that.

I had anxiety since I no longer hung out with her anymore but I just went off and make sure to do the stuff I want to do (not necessarily hook up with other women but just do shit I like and force myself to be social) and honestly it's been going really well and I've been having fun.

WhitexMamba00 · 2019-06-03T04:34:31+00:00

Just wanted to update everyone on this. Turns out, a week after this post that girl told me she had real feelings for me and really liked me. I told her I felt the same way and I was asking her about some other shit. She was saying how when she fucked my friend it was a mistake and whatever. I honestly don’t care too much about that anymore. Since then tho we’ve been fucking and are still best friends. And it looks like when school starts up again that we’re gonna start actually dating. Basically, ya boy made it out of the friends zone. Good looks to all you guys.

KnuckleMonkey_782 · 2022-06-08T19:44:03+00:00

Updates?

Title	My crush slept with my best friend
Author	WhitexMamba00
Upvotes	10
Comments	29
Date	March 6, 2019 3:38 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ay04yn/my_crush_slept_with_my_best_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-crush-slept-with-my-best-friend.1463811 https://theredarchive.com/post/1463811

Comments