TL;DR:

Girl was initially interested, but I showed neediness and low SMV. Can't get her out for second date. Took TRP and have been evolving. Other than taking the L, what is the best way to get my foot back in the door, re-spark the interest? I have nothing to lose and lots to gain. Have bullet pointed a few potential options below for your opinions.

EDIT: My goals with this girl is a LTR, although I've told her i'm not looking for a relationship. Just by nature I'm not the one night stand/ lets just hook up type of guy. I don't think that is going to change. TO me that's not a beta quality, its just a principal of mine. The reason i'm trying to adapt to TRP is to be the best version of myself and get more practice hooking girls so that when I run into the girl i'm looking for, my game will be on point.

EDIT 2: Also, if she does not pick up her phone, I plan on leaving a message saying "Hey.. (Name of girl).... call me... I want to talk." In a kind of stern voice (I have a stern personality/character and she sees/saw me as being bold, so it wouldn't be out of character.) But would it come off as being to serious/threatening? Or is it something an Alpha would do (Yes, I know a real alpha would call once and never look back. I'm not there yet. Will definitely keep that in mind with the next girl).

My case of oneitis led me to TRP a three weeks ago. Been reading the sidebar and other posts like a monk and could really use some help.

Met this girl and went out with her early in January. Awesome girl, everything that I look for in a girl. It is a justified case of oneitis. Even the old beta me had no problem moving on from “special” girls in the past, but this one is different (cringing at the thought of that). Things were good until I became too needy/pushy for a second date (i.e. I showed low SMV by being so pushy).

We go to school 3 hours away from each other so I wanted to meet again while still on winter holidays. In the beginning she had legitimate reasons for not meeting, but then again if she wanted to she would have found a way to make it happen.

Texted/talked on the phone a few times over the past two and a half months. I was a complete beta/nice guy and then I ran into TRP. Still not 100% alpha, but much, much closer to it than I was before TRP . I texted too much nonsense in the beginning thinking that we would establish more of a fun connection, but now I realize that texting doesn’t do anything for connection especially early on when it should be used for logistics only. It showed to much interest.

Problem: She has not committed to a second date (asking her out 3/4 times over 2 months), has become more brief with her texts, and difficult to get on the phone. I went semi-dark because I was really busy with school. And this whole thing was my fault. Interest was initially there, but I screwed up big time.

The realize typical response to this type of situation would be to take the L and move on. Trying to be realistic, I think I already screwed myself out of this one by being too needy, showing low SMV, texting too much, allowing for poor communication, and not hooking her emotionally. She was initially interested and attracted to me.

At this point, despite the odds, what is the BEST way to approach the situation and come finish with the W other than simply taking the L. The reason I think I can still do it is because:

  1. there was strong initial attraction/interest.
  2. My beta tendencies were the reason why she became disinterested. Now that I am much more aware of game, the nature of women, and what it means to be alpha, she will see me under a different light.

I am going to turn the tables around, just need the right strategy.

I have nothing to lose by continue trying and everything to gain. Just need to get my foot in the door again.

I had/have oneitis with this girl but have semi-moved on and have been hanging out/approaching other girls. I’m going to persist and keep trying until I get a hard “No". Like I said, nothing to lose since I’m not wasting much time on her, and everything to gain as this experience has already changed my life.

The main issue I was having was conveying high SMV, mostly because I showed neediness, desperation, and betaness. What can I do to get my foot in the door again?

Here are a few things I have been doing and considering:

  1. To combat the neediness/desperation I have gone semi-dark. --No more nonsense texts. Texting has become very minimal. Is that good, or am I losing her interest even more?

    • Going semi dark doesn’t seem to work when the girl has little to no interest though. I’m trying to re-spark her interest.

  2. Will use few anchors from our first date to gauge her emotions. Also will make a better effort to connect to her on an emotional level.

  3. To show SMV/social proof I invited her and her friends to a party at my place knowing that she was going to be no show b/c of school and b/c I live quite far from her.

    4. To show her more SMV I was thinking sharing the following:

    • She has subliminally asked about other girls a few times as she suspects/suspected that I approach and date a lot of girls. Very early in the engagement I came off as the player type, but I ruined that for myself. Now after having an emotional conversation, I want to tell her something like:
    • “There’s something I’ve been wanting to make clear since I don’t want to mislead you. I was starting to get close to this one girl last semester, but she became to clingy and wanted more attention than I could give at the time, so had to stop talking to her. [I told her that I don’t want a relationship and don’t like clingy girls] That kind of had me a bit rocky when we first met, but now the sitatuion better [Does that kind of sound like I’ve cleared the table for? How can I word that better?] . And like I told you, I’m just looking to have fun/a good time , and wanting to get to know different people [won’t say “girls"], try different things, go to new places, discover new things, and that’s what I’ve been doing. It’s something that I wanted to clarify to make sure were on the same page, because I don’t want to mislead you."

    How is this type of approach in trying to gauge her interest again? There is truth to it and she did suspect that I approach lots of girls. But my betaness/neediness probably hurt that perception.

Like I said i’m new to TRP, but this type of approach seems to be a bit manipulative. Is that the case or is this how the game works?

And for this phone conversation, I’m thinking I don’t ask her out. And focus on getting my foot through the door, and trying to establish an emotional connection, then ending the conversation and leaving her wanting a bit more.

I showed up to the fight with a stick, but found an automatic weapon after taking a few body shots. And I am not going to lose this fight.

Side-note: will also put together a post detailing a some valuable lessons i've learned from my mistakes. May be of value to other guys new to TRP/the game. May even be of use to some more advance players.