Texting the ex for my clothes back

addum · 2015-04-12T12:25:27+00:00

Why don't you get them yourself?

"I'll swing by Wednesday to grab my clothes."

If she says no, then ask when's a good time. If she keeps putting you off, cut off contact and consider it a $300 lesson.

sloth_with_a_44 · 2015-04-12T13:38:04+00:00

She's just trying to get under your skin and hurt you because she's hurt from the break up. This is painfully typical, don't hold it against her. Just go get your clothes back from her (or don't), and then move on. She's playing a game with you, and you're playing back. Stop

RojoEscarlata · 2015-04-12T13:42:09+00:00

That sucks OP, but as other people said let it be a lesson to you.

Don't expect honorable behavior from a woman, learn to negotiate with terrorist (I'll give you your clothes and you will give me mine at the same time), don't leave your things in trust with a woman, and plent other things I'm sure in retrospective you'll realize.

That being said, what I'd like to address here is that your frame is shaky as fuck:

I recently have changed my name to my father's surname, that's why she brought up the Wagenknecht thing. How am I going to respond to this bs? So fucking disrespectful. I am not however going to have any further contact with her, so I am doubting on putting her in her place. I am torn between saying something that will put her in her place or just ignore the text and hope that my clothes will show up.

We have by the way had no contact what so ever. On school I am ignoring her and she notices.

What do you guys think?

Edit

I have recently started to work out and been talking to a lot of new people in school. The change in me she has noticed. Do you think the "wagenknecht ;)" thing might be some sort of way of pulling my "new identity" down?

You are letting this girl get to your head, the message could be meant to anger you, or maybe is just the way she communicates, either way is not important because you should not care either way.

Take a step back and see the whole picture, even if she does want to "bring you down" why should you care? Why should you react to that? It doesn't matter what she (or other people for that matter) say or does to you, because is just to get a reaction (emotional) out of you, and the moment you fall into this trap you lose, stoicism/frame is the way to go, don't react to her childish provocations, don't give a shit about them, just as you wouldn't get mad a children for showing you it's tongue, getting mad and emotional even if you don't show it on the outside makes you lose, remember that is not about what people do/say to you at all, what is really important is how you choose to react to it.

So don't even give a second thought of what she said or meant to say, just keep your goal in mind (getting your clothes) and move on OP.

topredhat · 2015-04-12T12:12:53+00:00

Why don't you buy new clothes?

rebuildingMyself · 2015-04-12T12:40:44+00:00

She's a woman and Briffaults Law is still legal. Don't expect her to do anything for you.

So just arrange a time and go over there to take it. All she has to do is set your stuff aside.

MightyTaint · 2015-04-12T18:25:21+00:00

How am I going to respond to this bs? So fucking disrespectful.

Any responses to her taunts are entering her frame. Ignore her acting like a child and focus your energies on yourself. If she returns the clothes, great. If not, she is a petty thief, but unfortunately you have little recourse that wouldn't cost more than the value of the clothes.

At most, call her out on what she's doing: "There is no reason for it to take this long. You're making it look like you're hanging onto them for continued contact. If that is not the case, return them immediately."

Have no conversation. If she gives a bunch of excuses or continued veiled insults, ignore them. At most say "I will believe your excuses if you promptly return my items." Cast it as anything else than her returning your things makes her look like a child, just don't straight up say it. Fighting and bickering and trying to prove points is entering her frame. Do not do.

LeanRammus · 2015-04-12T13:54:59+00:00

Dude just get your stuff back, don't think into it. Don't try and be "alpha" because she doesn't care, get your clothes and improve.

She will care 6 months down the line when she sees your better off without her.

aqua_puss · 2015-04-12T12:24:31+00:00

i experienced the same thing too on my last LTR but my actions were f-up because i was still acting like a crying beta . i did the same thing and she eventually drop my stuffs at the guard's house and drop me a text about it . i found that she also returned all the things i gave her . ( guys wht would you do if she did this ) ? Well i actually drove straight to her home and placed her stuffs in-front of her house and left with a broken heart . ahh those days .

i guess from what ive learned so far , u don't have to say anything even if u feel shes disrespectful . you broke up for whatever reason and it is what it is . get back your clothes and that's it . its good that youre working out and let she notice the changes in you without any talking . she might come crying back to you after she failed with her new relationship and see a new you .

NickCiufi · 2015-04-12T17:28:53+00:00

Be civil, pick a time that's convenient for both of you and go get your stuff. Let bygones be bygones about the past - get your clothes and move on with your life brother.

NeinAmusedMonkey · 2015-04-12T19:50:18+00:00

This sounds like a pretty shitty idea, but some grade 12 left my house with my new $60 hoodie (I was in grade 8.)

She kept making excuses to give it back and I didn't know where she lived exactly but I knew which street so I went over after school one day.

I walked down the long street until I hit a dead end and I had no idea which house was hers. I looked at her instagram and saw a picture of her next to her house. It only really showed a 1/32 of the house, but the little white railing was the only thing that made a difference from her house to the others.

I walked up, knocked on the door, and sure enough, she was there, wearing almost no makeup. She looked 2x worse than normal

At least I got my hoodie back

Merwebb · 2015-04-12T18:03:24+00:00

An ex once didnt want to return a shirt with "hey but why do we have to be like that? Its not like we hate each other lets not become that people"

Turned out her 1tb portable HDD ended up on my hands for some reason. Whad didni say? " ohh cmon its not like we actually dont want to see each other again ans hate each other, why giving you the HDD?"

Now i have both my tshirt and dignity.

Title	Texting the ex for my clothes back
Author	Wagenknecht
Upvotes	9
Comments	28
Date	April 12, 2015 11:55 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/32bpsd/texting_the_ex_for_my_clothes_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/texting-the-ex-for-my-clothes-back.147875 https://theredarchive.com/post/147875

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