~ archived since 2018 ~

Girl agrees to date, becomes unresponsive

masterflappie · 2019-10-10T09:53:54+00:00

So I met a girl on tinder, she agreed to a date and also wanted a phone call. I've tried calling her for the past two weeks, but she never answers. I...

masterflappie

October 10, 2019

0 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Girl agrees to date, becomes unresponsive
Author	masterflappie
Upvotes	0
Comments	20
Date	October 10, 2019 9:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dfvpl3/girl_agrees_to_date_becomes_unresponsive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girl-agrees-to-date-becomes-unresponsive.1480839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480839

Comments

[–]johnnyace923 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]masterflappie[S] -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]NextSpinach 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]serpx 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]masterflappie[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]serpx 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dexdoos 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]masterflappie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]johnnyace923 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]getyourlifeplease 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]masterflappie[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]getyourlifeplease -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

Omg!!!!! Dude...how much exp dating have you had? Do you have mental or developmental issues - cause this isnt normal behavior. You really came across as creepy and desperate - im sorry. And I say that as a woman, because how you are acting is obsessive. You gave her an ultimatum? Wtf? Please stop contacting her. I guarantee this situation will become a story she tells her gfs about and laughs over (showing then all the calls and messages)...because YOU have gone way too far and you dont seem to get that enough to stop reaching out to this woman. Jesus! Walk away...

Admitting you are desperate just means you will act that way (this situation being a prime example) and women DONT RESPOND to desperate behavior. Understand that. It is creepy and sometimes even scary...like when a guy keeps calling, and when we dont respond back he then hops to texting, and when we ignore that he keeps trying. No no no no.

[–]masterflappie[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]getyourlifeplease -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

And how is an ultimatum needy? Begging her to return my calls is needy, telling her that I'll leave if she won't respond doesn't sound needy to me at all.

Yes...it IS needy. And the fact this woman is ignoring the behavior YOU feel isnt "needy" is clearly WHY you arent getting dates. What clearer proof do you need??? Everyone in this post has commented the same thing...and you still are like "but Im not needy" - so are all of us wrong - or are YOU?

Seriously, she needs to block you immediately. This is bonafide harassment now...leave her alone. Your behavior js creepy. I told you, creepy guys scare us. They make us uncomfortable. They dont take NO for an answer...they dont understand socisl cues and that ignoring them means NO...they keep pushing despite clear signs that there is NO interest. That kind of guy is scary!!! He doesnt respect boundaries and could potentially be a stalker/obsessive type...THAT is where you are well on your way to here. Cut that shit out.

I asked you - do you have mental or developmental issues? Are you seeing a therapist for help? Because THIS shit isnt normal...and it will keep happening until you get it together.

[–]masterflappie[S] -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I get that you think that it IS needy, my question is WHY it is needy. Of course I saw everyone else saying ultimatums are needy, hence my question to which I'm still awaiting an answer for.

I'm also not saying that I'm not needy, I am needy and desperate and I'm being very conscious about it to not let it show too much, hence my question. Now you can call me a stalker again, or you can just answer my question please.

"Despite clear signs that that there is NO interest", a few days ago she sent me a message saying that she hoped to have time to talk that evening, and that was after my 2 calls and 3 messages. Are these those clear signs you speak of? If you think those signs are clear, perhaps it isn't me not understanding social ques, perhaps it's you.

I do have mental issues, PTSD, social anxiety and childhood emotional neglect. I almost became an incell but eventually decided to go the self help route about a year ago. I do have a therapist and I discussed this with her as well. She agreed with me and complimented me on identifying this whole thing as a red flag. She also agreed that it was very strange for someone to agree to a date and then barely respond. Note the "her", she's a woman too. So I guess that when you say things like "creepy guys scare us", you're just talking about you, you're not representative of the female population.

But I have some good news too, I am going to stop calling her. That's what the whole fucking ultimatum is about isn't it? I told her that if she won't respond, I'm going to leave. So if she truly isn't interested, then it's already over and I'll have my question on whether or not she's interested. Or do you think it would've been better if I would've just sat in agony for another week hoping for an answer?

[–]getyourlifeplease 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You know what the worst part of all of this is? People on this post have broken down and been clear as Hell about why your actions in this situation are unhealthy, needy, and creepy. And what do you do??? Keep defending your actions! So all I can say is: good luck man. You seem to not be open to advice and criticism of your process (basically you lack self awareness), and because of that...I wish you the best, cause you will need it. You said you havent gotten any dates after an entire year online? You said women that you "set up dates with" end up blocking you? This woman literally ignores you? Keep doing what you are doing...and you will be unsuccessful man, im sorry. If what you are doing NOW isnt working, to most people that would be a dead giveaway - but not to you, for some reason. 👍🤦‍♀️

[–]masterflappie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, they've said that it IS needy, but not WHY it is needy. Luckily a helpful user came around and explained it for me. None of it was defending my actions, as I said before, I acknowledge that I'm not good at the whole dating thing. My emotional skills are... immature, lets say. It's the whole reason I'm on this subreddit. But I can't grow and learn if I don't understand why my actions are not acceptable, so I ask questions until I fully understand what's happening.

As for you, you haven't broken down shit, all you've done is went on and on about how bad you think my actions where. Not why they were bad, just that they were. You're the one who answered the question "how is an ultimatum needy?" with "Yes...it IS needy" and then gave 0 reasons on how it is needy. You did find some space to tell me that I should get blocked, that I'm a stalker etc. and then you tell me that my asking questions is actually defending myself? I don't know if you're morally grandstanding for reddit fame or just to feel better about yourself, or if you're so dense that you think people will blindly take your advice with no questions asked, but I'm going to stop responding anyway, as it doesn't really seem like you're interested in having a constructive conversation.

[–]KingRemu 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]masterflappie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]okayIntern 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link